It always rains in August, don’t you know?
Bjorn Borg: “The English always act surprised
When it rains…” And yet some of us still go
To the seaside expecting to have nice
Weather! What gives? It’s time for you to wise
Up, mate. That’s what the Balearics are for
Or Cyprus, or Greece, where the sun still shines
Unlike Skegness, Torquay or Scarborough
If you’ve got money, Thailand’s not too far
Or Florida. Get a tan you can show
Off to the missus and kids, or tell lies
And just go to the salon; it’s not far
The browner you are, the farther you go
Like Jordan, a magnet for hungry eyes
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