2489 - Walk the walk

I've walked more today than for several years
My legs are slightly limp and my feet ache
I've walked on pavements, crossed roads, trudged on grass
At first cloudy, then under sun we baked
Had to buy Jo some school shoes - for God's sake
That's the second month I've spent 40 quid
On footwear for her! From there, a short walk
To Bruntwood Park, Cheadle, down slides she slid
As usual, but what's changed lately, she's mad
On running, so we spent a couple hours
With Josie doing sprint practice. It took
So long the cafe was closed. Visited
The chip shop near Cheadle Hulme station, was
A big queue there. Walked her home, walked back. Walked...

2488 - Johnny come lately

I'm passing time, the front row of the gig
I can't move or I'll lose my hard-won place 
You better not give me an elbow dig 
Or I'll give you an elbow in the face 
Or a knee in a more unpleasant place 
It's Public Image, singer's John Rotten 
Though I know he's not been called that for years 
He is the top ginger whinger of men 
I liked their first hit, but not a great fan 
But I'm stood in the front row nonetheless
The man next to me has the breath of pig
I've typed that, so I must shield mobile phone
Johnny Rotten now plays to the grey hairs
Forget pogo-ing, we need walking sticks!

Fri 28 June, written on phone while at gig

2487 - Rainy old town

Thank God I took today off - a lie-in
Will be welcome, today meaning Friday
But on the agenda is I'm searching
For a walking stick, and I have to say
An electronic cigarette, for they
Are comedy props I need to acquire
In the meantime, straight after work today
(Thursday), met Nancy by the funeral pyre
Of the old BBC, though I was tired
Of standing in that old phone booth sheltering
From the drizzle. To the Lass o'Gowrie
For a talk organised by Liz, inspired
By music and the mind. Then, one last drink
At our table in the Castle. Hug. Bye!

Thur 27 June

2486 - Working like a dog

It's been a hard day's day, well not really
Just a normal day, ten hours' sleep helped me
I felt boundless internal energy
Hard concentrating sometimes normally
Like in school (didn't go to nursery)
In maths or some shit like that, naturally
Teachers who couldn't hold imaginary
Children's attention, relying on the
Expected power of pure pedagogy
That carries on, adult reality
Is bores boring you to the nth degree
And after boring university
There's nowhere to go but work, earn money
And that's when you discover comedy

Wed 26 June

2485 - Dirty stopout

Too tired at work to do much, up all night
Got forty winks on the train from the 'Pool
The sun shone warmly now, with brighter light
As I walked up Oxford Road feeling cool
From the station to Ralli Quays, the rule
Of sleep broken, fresh rested waves passed by
In business skirts or headscarves, it was still
Early, quarter to eight, feels like you're high
On young rebellion, invoke teen memory
Of all-night parties, home to sound and sight
Of milkmen on their round, trying not to spill
Just clinking as I'm thinking 'Cool is me!'
Back then - and yet it still can happen quite
Like that. We can be dirty stopouts still!

2484 - Liver Bird Party

I'm writing Monday's sonnet on Tuesday
The reason? Thought I'd come home on the late
Train, but in vain - didn't miss it - I stayed
Out drinking and dancing with two poet mates
Way beyond half eleven - it was light
When we left the club, walked past the shut shops
But found Burger King open for a bite
And two much-needed coffees for a shot
Of recovery after the beer glut
The Liver birds were flying on Monday
Around the dance floor in such tight short skirts
Wonder how the locals would all react
If I'd worn my nurse outfit on Mersey-
side streets - would it be trouble, or just great?

Written about previous evening / night / morning of Monday 24 June / Tuesday 25 June

2483 - Midsummer mudness

A surprisingly cold midsummer day
Slept quite late despite not much happening
Yesterday. Today it was damp and grey
Saw Josie despite last night's guides camping
She was woken at four thirty, talking
Co-camper being a pest. An hour later
The girls realised their tent was collapsing
So they had to wake up their guide leader
A large jolly woman. I've not seen her
But Jo describes things in detail when we
Get together at weekends, her talking
Non-stop about her news, views, top talker
For the first hour at any rate, then a
Fifty-fifty banter session kicks in

2482 - Face to Facebook

A manic night on Facebook yesterday
Followed by a manic morning on there
This morning, but now I'm out of the fray
Read a few pages of boring Pinker
And listened to Beethoven, namely the
First two symphonies, then out with Louis
Looking to replace yellow cards offer
Which if you have them, save you real money
In restaurants and cinema, city
Centre Manchester, ate out on the way
In Giraffe, which ain't that good - we went there
Because Zizzi was closed - oh well, Zizzi
Is no great loss. No pizza then, but hey
We'll probably order food in tonight - yeah!

2481 - The Sound of Honey

I just put down the guitar, having thrashed
Away to Killing Joke couple of hours
Trying to play that stuff gets me challenged
I never go the easy way, my powers
Develop quicker that way, much quicker
No gimmicks, no electrics, amps, feedback
You gotta play it right, grow fast fingers
But as it comes together, it's good craic
If craic can be a solo or a lick
A riff, arpeggio, fingerpick, a Slash
Some chords crash down like waves upon the shores
I use fingers only, no crutch, no pick
No capo certainly, just in the flesh
And in your face music like honey showers

2480 - I've seen the scene

I just transferred my credit card balance
It's down to sixteen hundred measly quid
Ten years ago, seventeen thousand pounds
Was what I owed, but when my father died
I paid it off - the rest was deposit
On this flat in Salford where I have lived
Mainly good times since 2006
Lonely times at times, but I have the gift
Of enjoying my solitude, adrift
From worries, free to drink, read, sing and dance
I've done all those and more, good times and bad
You meet some shitheads, but that's how you lift
Yourself up socially, experience
Making you wiser and better-equipped

2479 - I am being funny, but ...

Last night's comedy was a little sparse
Not many turned up, but still a good laugh
It's good to get more chance to talk to those
Stalwarts of the scene, don't do it enough
Normally, my networking goes and gets stuffed
But chatted to a few guys, short but good
Set - feel I'm really starting to improve
And feel natural now, hit the right mood
That suits my personality and would
Make me laugh if I heard it from others
Got home quite early, decided to have
More to drink, and so drinking more I did
So much so I woke late and rubbed my eyes
Was it really almost ten? Must be off....

2478 - Men at Arms

Tonight I'm doing solo comedy
Not far from home at the King's Arms, Salford
My sometime comedy partner's busy
Yes, Dermot's off to France, Parisward
I wish now I'd thought of asking Janet
If she wanted to come tonight, but she
Isn't as far as I know doing a set
And also she has to get home early
I've new material, should enable me
To talk without script, ad lib easily
It's 'The Worst Comedy Night in Salford'
Beginning at or after 8.30
This is my first night out since Saturday
A quiet few days now in my diary

2477 - This be not the verse

I had intended going on the train
After work to Liverpool, poetry
On the agenda, old faces again
But couldn't face the long trip with just me
For company, and I should be thrifty
For a change after so many nights out
(Friday, Saturday, and tomorrow-day)
Shame, but important not to throw about
Money I'm running out of. Quite a lot
Of diary clashes now - that's a good sign
Guitar and Verse, or the Psychology
Group with Nancy and Liz? Tempted to get
Back with the girls after Saturday's fun
As nurses and gangsters - but we will see...

2476 - Mug plug

Not that much sleep but just enough to cope
Up not long before ten, a quick breakfast
Checked Facebook and just had time to type up
Last night's poem, and thought there was still just
Enough time to catch the train, but I missed
It, because the station staff are quite mean
Now, standing in the doorways, they insist
On seeing your ticket - the days have been
And gone when you could board and pay, it seems
So I missed that train, bought ticket, and hopped
On the next one. Father's Day, saw my last
Child, Little Josie, we make a great team
She painted a mug with lovely words - hope
She always thinks that way when years have passed

2475 - Nurse with wound

A good day and a very good evening
The day was spent at home, I played guitar
So pleased to say that I'm still improving
How good will I be in another year
My fingers on the frets were like a blur
Then came the time to shave legs and dress up
But not walk as a nurse to Manchester
No, that's risky on my own, so I put
On the white coat, the rest on in the pub
It's the Whim Wham Restaurant, if you're checking
The spiral staircase to the loo - danger
Of tripping down in my nurse's outfit
Nance and the other four girls were smashing
We danced at The Venue - and now it's four!

Sat 15 June - technically, Sunday 16th at 4am

2474 - Night out, lights out

I've been out after work with four lasses
Angela, Emma, Julie, Tracey, me
I had steak and chips and a few glasses
Of beer, and all was well in the city
Some work issues discussed, not all agree
But that's what happens, people are people
And now I'm back home, tomorrow is the
Party, Nancy's do, I'll retire with all
My hopes intact, lots of rest, should feel full
Of beans when dressed as a nurse, in nurse's
Costume, hobnobbing with friends of Nancy
Meanwhile Louis is playing his football
Computer game on X-Box. Coventry's
Winning League One, unlike reality

2473 - The rock progresses

I've just played pretty fast on prog guitar
Great mind exercise, don't know all the tracks
That well, and many of them drag on far
Too long, but when that happens, it's good prac-
tice, I guess, for jamming, better than tax
Stuff at the office! Mind you, that's still good
For the mind, in its more boring aspects
But useful in coping with pies of mud
That life sometimes throws. Nearly time for food
Will watch Top of the Pops from that old year
Of '78, looks a good 'un, folks
Didn't go to the doctor, that's not good
I s'pose, but my foot blister is better
Since I put a plaster under my socks

2472 - Tall tales told

The gentle rain fell as I walked towards
The office alongside the old canal
In my earphones I heard the beats and words
Livening up the walk, so I walked tall
The day's work done, I retraced the same trail
And before long, out once more, Manchester
Calling, Tales of Whatever, not tall tales
But true stories embellished as they were
By the telling to a room of hearers
Nancy turned up, and second up, Dermot's
Description of kayaking in North Wales
And swimming off the Isle of Arran where
Some poets meet annually, though I would
Not really fancy it - the sea's too cold

Wed 12 June

2471 - The good father

Some rubbish TV drama is on now
The acting and script stink to high heaven
Just been out with Louis, nothing highbrow
At the cinema, just voucher-spending
Was only three quid to see 'The Iceman'
Engaging enough, set in '70s
New Jersey, The Godfather-style gangland
The twin towers over the water, still seems
Incredible they fell, still have memories
Of seeing them in person long ago
They were the best, Empire State poor second
Tiredness contributes to rapid brain freeze
An early night beckons, for tomorrow
It's back to The Castle pub once again

2470 - Kings of the Castle

A lovely sunny day, spent in office
No time even to shop, just work, that's all
But after work, was time to take the piss
And me and Dermot did our act, enthralled
The audience at the first Effed Up, appalled
Them not as I feared, no, overall impressed
With our double act. Had a few drinks, well
I had a good time after the acts left
Talking to these two guys, Matt and Jim, best
Conversation ever, but now I must
Do sandwiches and go to bed. Not full
No am decidedly hungry, but this
Is no time to cook, so I'll give a miss
To food for now. I think that's a good call

Mon 10 June

2469 - Never mind the Jackson Pollocks

A sunny day in Salford, stayed at home
On Facebook for a while, then DVD
Watching, the Best Exotic Marigold
Hotel, and it was suitably funny
With some things to say about age, with the
Backdrop of India to help along
After that, tried on Saturday's fancy
Dress, then some frenetic Buzzcocks playing
On guitar, then tea, then out rehearsing
With Dermot for tomorrow's gig in town
At the Castle on Oldham Street, pretty
Soon now, just need some sleep now, some resting
Regenerating, dreaming on my own
Recreating artistic energy

Sun 9 June

2468 - We won the cup

Two four six eight, who do we appreciate
Nobody, it's the number of this one
This sonnet, high numbers we're at now, mate
Been at it since September '06 and
Still sonneteering, I'm still going strong
A sunny day with Josie, Manchester
We caught a crowded tram, took us along
The track to Salford Quays, we walked from there
To Old Trafford, where we took a picture
Of Josie with the Premier League cup - fate
Brought us there on the right day! Look out on
Facebook for the shots soon. Now I'm aware
I'm running late for an important date
Well not really, it's Dermot! Off downtown...

2467 - Woke early from a dream

How am I still awake? Woke up in light
At five-fifteen, am ready for bed now!
Strange, but I feel quite ashamed to say it!
Silly! I'm seeing Josie tomorrow
So hope I get good rest... and said I'd go
Out on the town with Dermot, evening time
If I've the energy after Wilmslow
With my daughter. When will Louis arrive
So I can hit bed in double quick time?
He's been to see a film, maybe seen twice
Maybe gone to his Mum's, hey, I don't know
My eyes are hurting, I need some dark time
Been talking about Katy, Rob got quite
Upset, but knows they just have to split now

2466 - Morning warning

Woke up at half-past four, like, oh my God!
It was so light and warm, thought it was six
Maybe, but when I saw the clock I had
A shock. Wide awake, a headful of thinks
Got up and went on Facebook in two ticks
Watched breakfast news, had to pass time until
The office was open at seven. Walks
Along the canal at that time are still
And quiet, no disturbance from cycle
Or jogger. My foot feels OK, all good
Except at work they rang, said I should fix
Some time to have it looked at in Eccles
Drop-in surgery, so I decided
A week's wait to get sore underfoot checked

2465 - Relaxing day off (or rehabbing day off)

Just drank loads of coffee and watched TV
Triple dose of my favourite, Jeremy Kyle
And from my home town, watched Come Dine With Me
Representing Lichfield with no small style
JP - whoever he is - wore wig while
Endlessly talking, dominating things
He had personality, made 'em smile
Also interesting for some cross-dressing
And an all-blue lycra suit, close-fitting
And then some! The Apprentice still to see
Or a prog on D-Day - continental
Invasion and all that shit - interesting
But kind of old hat, so I'll stick with The
Apprentice. Three bags full, Lord Sugar! Cool.

2464 - Good shit

Defiance of the strike, worked as normal
A lovely sunny day, warm when I left
Thought about songs for Thursday, ate my fill
And rehearsed with Dermot, pint in 'Oxford'
Then to the Kings Arms, comedy of a sort
My act went OK, so the feedback said
I tried to be shit, managed it of course
Things happened that came out of my own head
Sniggers a-plenty, to me they were wed
Inevitably, went to the Castle
The usual nonsense followed as pints poured
Themselves right down my all too willing head
Now here I am, it's nearly three - Salford
Has rarely seen such humour. Now for bed...

Written last night while drunk - Tue 4 June

2463 - Get your socks off!

Been limping today with my sore foot - ouch!
It's not that bad, it's a corn or bunyan
I think, but on the underneath. To touch
It, it's quite tender, and so to tread on
It with each step is not really much fun
Walking along the canalside, cobbles
And broken, cracked and irregular stone
Ain't easy with a sore foot, but troubles
Still seem to recede beside the bubbles
The birds and geese - that rower, he's no slouch!
This morning, though, I made an appointment
Tomorrow morning at the doc's, I'll pull
Socks off and show her my painful bump, much
To my relief if there's a prescription!

2462 - Tom Brown's body lies a-moulderin' in the grave

Last night put together some comedy
But found out today that there were no slots
No work's ever wasted, no tragedy
That I won't do it tonight, won't go out
Quite like the solo routine 'what I wrote'
Watched 'Tom Brown's Schooldays'- not a good version
'Come Dine With Me' from Dublin on a plate
You can't beat the accents of old Ireland
Do dey moit nat be yer sloice of gammon
At least not going out means I can see
And cringe at England playing Brazil, not
Easy even at home, but there, with Wayne
Rooney our only star, it could be three
Nil to them, or worse. They'll knock off our spots

2461 - Bunyan's still-grim progress

Pleasant but fairly uneventful day
With Josie, in Burnage and Fog Lane Park
My bunyan, corn, or whatever you say
That lump under my foot started to irk
About halfway through, so maybe next week
I'll find out what it is, get it seen to
I'll make an appointment to see the doc
Home now, it feels quite sultry, just like you
Would expect from June, though it seems so few
Days are hot and sunny, that's now the way
Of the weather. It's finally getting dark
It's past ten o'clock, various shades of blue
Perfect for a fryin' barbecue, they say
Never mind, me and Jo both bought huge steaks