3276 - Flagging interest

Tattoos - at last - these designs have waited
About 9 months since I chose them last year
The Cheshire Cat's clawgeous, the artist did
Well, well done Adam, you deserve a cheer
Although at times the needle was severe
Cool music playing, newish stuff unknown
Next up was the text from Hungaria
Script on my back, think that should be the zone
For more texts in different lingos. I'm goin'
To Croatia soon - Croat would look good
Next to the Magyar script. Finally, there
Is now a Swiss flag on my arm, wind blowing
In my mind anyway. New lock's fitted
On the outside door - couldn't get in there!!

3095 - Evening of light

The sky is red, the evening still has light
Work and shopping are done, the winter's soon
Ending too. Holiday plans are in flight
And soon there's a tattoo trip to Brighton
I may have one or two new ones inked on
This morning, before work, I was about
To eat breakfast, I was in the kitchen
And before that I was in the toilet
When I heard loud cooing coming from out
On the balcony, also saw the sight
Of flapping wings through the window. Pigeon!
Those darned birds bugging me again, without
So much as a fly your leave! Leaving shite
Everywhere! So I chased them off. Begone!

3042 - The lamb in winter

Sunday Sunday at home today Sunday
Think there should be no punctuation now
I have begun this unorthodox way
Its OK if you are enough highbrow
A bit ee cummings Im an off show
Its cold in winter thats a big surprise
Not I should say like the size of a cow
Although it could be a baby cow size
Never assume words are true could be lies
All these are are pastimes to pass time hey
Best to pass time easily cant somehow
Motivate to activate pressurise
Myself to get big things done just the way
Ive always been can I ever change though

3033 - Zing went the strings of my guitar

Just had a blistering guitar session
In which largely I managed not to look
It's quite easy when you practice, skates on
Ice, riding bikes, swimming just like a duck
Or anything really, fish on a hook
It's all possible with regular graft
But still got some way to go til I pluck
The strings and courage to test my stagecraft
Til then it remains stagefright, and my pact
With myself's to keep practising alone
It's fun anyway, no pressure, a track
Playing in the background, my mind abstract
Free of all words and thoughts, I strum along
Or play lead or bass, rarely I get stuck

3004 - See all without travelling

Exciting news, oh yes, exciting news
Is it a royal baby? they wonder
No, that's not it, I've got three new tattoos
On the upper arms and lower shoulder
I'll have you know that's a bony area
And so quite painful to be inked thereon
What were the tattoos of? you all clamour
OK, here goes. First, a souvenir from
Paris, the Eiffel, a silhouette, strong
And straight. Next, the Slovakian crest I used
The one central to their national banner
Last, the two-headed eagle, Albanian
Emblem, black, on red background. Fun to choose
My images, soon may a chance recur!

2928 - Thick pigeon shit

Oh pigeon, squatting smugly on the branch
Opposite my balcony, where you once
Squatted and shat profusely with your haunch
On my exterior light. Not just my hands
But even sharp-pronged metallic objects
Could not deter you, my return from work
Tarnished by its brandishing at your ass
To no avail. Next day once more you'd park
Your butt on my square light-cover and look
Down with superiority, approach
Of human owner wryly observed, hunch
I might not be pleased, too right. Well now, fuck
Off, enjoy that thin branch, I have finished
Hosting your ass. Look at me if you want

I removed the square light-cover on which the pigeon used to perch, about a year ago, and now the fat bastard has to make do with a relatively thin branch. Ha!

2926 - Animal nightlife

Well where is Louis, when's he gonna show
He's been at his Mum's flat since Friday, now
It's Tuesday evening. He stayed at hers so
He could feed the cat while Vee B went down
To London to visit Miss P around
The capital's top spots and whatnot, see
Mind you, Lou also thought that he had found
Some peace and quiet, an opportunity
To write in a comfy flat, all lonely
And undisturbed by me, and yes I know
That does appeal to a writer. But how
Much longer will it be before I see
Him come through that door? The days go by slow
As I wait for the next trip - London! Wow.

2819 - Here's the beef

Bank Holiday Monday, unexpected
Day out with Nic, we went to Hebden Bridge
Ate at The Old Gate, like days departed
While there it was fine, it was not a fridge
And with Nic for company, it's not tradge-
ic, not with Nic - that girl, she is so great
Friends is fine, but she looks just like a madge-
ic pixie, sometimes tricks me. Had a plate
Of beef sandwich with gravy. Would donate
Some to that big grey hound acting ill-fed
But the owner said No thanks. Then we trudged
Back to the car with big glass bowl we placed
Gingerly in the small boot. At hers, met
The housemate again. Lift home. No porridge!

Mon 5 May

2818 - Me, you and a dog named ... who?

It's late, but not real late, sadly that's true
I hoped it might be later, but it's not
Been out with Dermot, Nancy, Nic and you
No, not you, you weren't there, you silly clot
But forgive me, it's my fault, not your fault
The Castle, as usual, was the venue
At first it was quite empty, then a lot
Of people were there, not too bad, a queue
At the bar, but lots of folk outside, who
Were chatting. A guy with two dogs, a few
Others, some had seen me read lines, my slot
Went well, cos it was good, Nic thought so too
Now she's gone, I'm back home alone, boo hoo
I need to sort it so I'm not forgot

Sun 4 May

2536 - Animal crackers

A blah sort of day at work, when I see
We've got a slot on Friday, suddenly
We have to get an act sorted, quickly
So we meet at 8, down the Oxford, we
Knock around ideas, and come up with the
Idea straight away, using the monkey
And the chicken, yes, it's our history
We always use that in our comedy
So see you Friday at the 3MT
Tomorrow night we'll reconvene and be
Rehearsing. Meanwhile tonight, went to the
Salford Arms, then The Eagle. Nobody
Was at the latter, real fire blazed but she
Put it out, and we went home, one two three

Tue 11 February

2504 - Rams shackled

I've just watched Derby get beat by Leicester
In the big East Midlands football derby
Derby, sadly, got beat good and proper
The Foxes out-foxed the Rams, rammed not three
But four goals past Lee Grant, poor grunting Lee
Picking the ball out all those times. Meanwhile
Peter Schmeichel's son Caspar, he hardly
Had any saves to make. No clean sheet smile
For him, though, 4-1 the end of our trial
Next up, the Rams play Brighton at home where
We must start winning again. I think we
Will fail to get a top two spot, but still
We'll be in the play-offs and in with a
Chance of promotion. So, come on Derby!

2495 - Day in, day out

Simple day at home, in between days out
Reading Charles Dickens' 'Little Dorrit'
Recuperating from New Year's Eve at
The somewhat tidied-up home of Janet
Enjoying the attentions of a cat
Or two - no pussy jokes, that would be shit
Drank Guinness, ate crisps and just had a chat
While the year changed numbers from this to that
Louis is in London and so my flat
Just has me in it, but it's not quite quiet
Playing a 90s compilation, hit
After hit from a decade that's now quite
A long way back in time. Thinking I might
Play guitar along to it in a bit

2475 - Amy, you're driving me crazy

I keep waking up halfway through the night
Why, when it's the darkest time of the year?
I sometimes do this in midsummer's light
When dawn comes early, but why, how now, sir?
I wake from a dream, my mind starts to stir
Last night I kept singing Amy Winehouse
In my head, of course, nothing you could hear
Apart from radio, all quiet as a mouse
TV reception's bad these days, I lose
The chance to watch most channels now, so might
Move to BT Sport, it should be cheaper
Than Sky broadband (with football as bonus)
Let's hope there's an end to my sleepless plight
I hate being tired, it's not clever or fair!

2423 - Here's to your bad health

It's now been sixteen days since cigs were bought
And since I've not bought cigs, my drinking's dropped
Which means my health's risen, my bank account
Has also sought new heights, and hasn't flopped
If you break a habit, come out on top
Over those demons, success feels real nice
Evenings last longer, never seem to stop
Opportunities knock, not once but twice
As time slows, you move faster, like the flies
Pigeons seem to walk slower than they ought
As your wheels draw real near, they stroll, heads bob
No problem, they have time, thanks to their eyes
I've been to this lesson before, self-taught
Then as boredom has set in, I've self-mocked

2368 - You're havin' a laugh

Hello, I'm back again, back home, that is
From the fortnightly gig at the King's Arms
Which can be abbreviated to TWCNIS
The Worst Comedy Night in Salford, harms
All good taste, or at least it does if I'm
There, which I usually am, and was tonight
It was a good one, talk of fire alarms
And shit, so it must be good, or it's shite
Got to be quick with this entry, or might
Be tired at work tomorrow, for business
Comes first, right? Does it fuck. Except on farms
Where cows must be milked early, grab their tits
And squeeze for all you're worth, grab hold and squeeze
But I'm no farmer, nor writer of psalms

Tue 27 August

2532 - Floatin' like a butterfly

Feels like it's been a long long day somehow
Though it's still only just about gone nine
Some chores, some pix on Facebook, a video
Of butterflies shot yesterday's online
Deciding about travelling by train
Down to see Pearl in London at month's end
I've got agreement to take Josephine
Not taken her away from home since when?
Think I took her to Wales with my children
(The older two), but her mum went also
When we stayed at Claire's near Swansea. This time
It's without mum. Mum trusts her now she's ten
But I must take good care of little Jo
Now to book train tickets without delayin'...

2524 - When you're down and out

I brought no money out with me, except
What little was left after last night's drinks
Five pounds seventy five for train ticket
Got on the train to Wilmslow with these thinks -
I'll draw out more when I get there. It stinks
When you can't do that, you have no bank card
And only about six quid left. Swam, thanks
To a kind lady, let us off full charge
Just enough for snack and drink afterwards
Which we had in the park. Dogs kind of got
On our wick, with their runnings and barkings
Walked to Styal Mill through the pretty woods
But shops were closed, no-one was there, we left
No money for a drink, no thirst quenching

2522 - This butterfly life

Football is back! Yes, the new season's here
Swansea are playing Malmo down in Wales
It's cooled down now, today's once more hotter
After some days of rain. At work, told tales
Of new tattoos, but suddenly there's walls
To climb, there's rivers and bridges to cross
Tomorrow could be awkward. Must try all
I can to keep cool, talking to my 'boss'
Even though shit is going down, no less
Good to see white butterflies grace the air
After the rain, still alive, their white sails
Fluttering in my face from canalside bush
They'll have enjoyed today, the atmosphere
The light, the plantlife, and all life's appeals

2519 - Dead end road

Just rocked out on guitar, getting better
Now listening to gentle JJ Cale blues
Assisted by Clapton and some others
JJ Cale's gone now, guess there ain't no use
Mourning, once you're gone, nothin' left to lose
That dead end road been travelled to its end
No more pain left, no boredom and no bruise
You just turn to dust like all the fallen
Flies swept up off the floor, through the open
Door in summer they flew, knew no better
Can't save them all, daddy-long-legses too
They don't know where they are now, don't know when
But they're not hot or bothered, they don't care
They're just not, and to join them, join the queue

2512 - Summer's summit

It's hot hot hot, but I'm still loving it
Sitting here, sun shining through the curtain
Its beam resting on me, making me sweat
So nice to have a hot summer again
But glad I don't live in a real hot land
Like Mexico, Morocco, Monaco
Or Venezuela or Venice or Spain
Not so bad by the sea where breezes blow
Sleeping on top of the duvet, pillow
Under my head, the bedroom hot all night
Nothing exciting since I don't know when
Except life as a whole. No mosquito
Will trouble me in the land where I sit
And lie me down when it's time for resting