Thursday 31 January 2013

2340 - Speed of thought

Last night I played along to a disco
Compilation full of boogie basslines
Then moved on to light classics, seemed to go
Well enough, so tried some Wagner, the times
I'd listened to it paying off bigtime
Can play almost anything live now, but
I still don't know what I can do next time
I take a stage, and maybe I will not
Ever square that circle, but I'm quite hot
On the guitar now, and that's great to know
Regular practice is the key, my mind
Able to think and fingers follow - that
Is what I want. Or can my fingers go
Faster than my mind.... or than others' minds?

Wednesday 30 January 2013

2339 - A farewell to weak arms

A new press-ups record since I started
On December 20th with three
Now I can do twenty-four. Excited
By this, and my arms support my body
Fully, real press-ups, no resting on knee
Stomach muscles coming on, getting hard
Though hard to see through my podgy belly
Podgy that is to younger days compared
Removing fat piled on last year like lard
From a pig isn't so easy, but it
Should be possible in time, and to see
New tattoos in that area. Can afford
Two representing where I visited
Last year - Denmark and Sweden - post-payday

Tuesday 29 January 2013

2338 - Misty grey

I always enjoy January's end
The light returns, though the cold wind persists
Light and temperature may be on the mend
But let's not expect a summer sun-kissed
Such things are long gone, and so sadly missed
All we have to look forward to is rain
Yes, the same thing we had as autumn mist
That soaked the land, killed crops and flooded drains
For the foreseeable, the rain remains
All we have as it warms over the pond
Produces cumulus to get us pissed
Off and pissed on. Don't wonder at our groans
Would going abroad be some kind of end?
Yet somehow, I think this place would be missed

Monday 28 January 2013

2337 - Great British cuisine

What have they done to the rain? Didn't fall
Quite as forecast. Finished 'Great British Wit'
(Though I didn't get Great British wet...), all
Ready to read the even larger script
Of another comedic history hit
'1000 Years of Annoying the French'
Over seventy pages read - yes, it's
Nice, light reading, set to the mystic crunch
Of beans on toast, cheese and Marmite sandwich
Or some just as incomprehensible
(To foreigners) British snack they think shit
Most of my fridge contents they wouldn't pinch
And I'm glad about that, I can reveal
Listening to soul, then guitar practice treat

Sunday 27 January 2013

2336 - Ten years after

A good day, avoiding the worst weather
Though windy and quite cold, poor young Josie
Buttoned up her coat far as it let her
And off to Manchester to find birthday
Presents for her, as she's ten on Thursday
Can't afford a netbook, mini i-Pad
Even in Argos, too costly for me
So me and Tania will save, get a good
Small computer for Josie just around
Summertime. Strangely Josie's now cheaper
Choice was football boots (with studs). When will she
Really use them? In her garden, she said
I'm excited she's ten, youngest daughter
Third of three kids in my great family

Saturday 26 January 2013

2335 - Highway to hell

After the snow, the rain, but tomorrow
Some sun when I'm out with little Josie
The weather brings trouble in one long flow
Last night the M6 stopped car and lorry
In their frozen tracks all night long - that's the
Worst trip ever, hardly Midnight Express
It's been OK today, but there will be
A downpour overnight - well, that is less
Annoying than rain all day long, I guess
Can't sledge with Jo this week, the melted snow
Has gone to meet its ancestors gladly
In snow heaven, that poetic concept
Of some also long gone poet. Brain's slow -
Used it this morning on new comedy

Friday 25 January 2013

2334 - Putting on the Ritz

A long day, although I woke up quite late
Caught up at work with work I had to do
Then at five, down the pub to meet some mates
Good chat and several pints on, time to go
Thread through the snowy streets, find my way to
The Ritz to see the Hawkwind gig. Not sure
When the support band stopped, but stood next to
The mixing desk and saw the set list, saw
Titles I didn't know, realised the four
Or five guys on stage were Hawkwind, with great
Looking female dancers dressed to make you
Keep watching, fantasy costumes. Encore
Brought Damnation Alley, and while not late
Finished with Silver Machine - whoop de do!

Thursday 24 January 2013

2333 - Middle-age kicks

Just had a right good guitar session, man
It seems easier to jam at high speed now
Thanks to regular practice. Now my hand
Zooms hither and thither, nearly allows
The speed of thought which is my aim, my vow
And not just chords but melodies, bass lines
And lead licks, all at lightning pace, but how
Different, easy it is in the confines
Of my living room, not like when there's times
Of stress, on stage, faces and lights, all's on
Edge, on show, strings rebel, hands won't allow
Normal action or accuracy, signs
I shouldn't be there, I must fast return
Homewards to practice, like I just did now

Wednesday 23 January 2013

2332 - The exercist

I did my exercises - it was hard!
That's what happens after a few days' break
(Caused by my birthday food and drink, m'lud)
Spent my HMV voucher - no mistake
After all, Pearl, buying me that - I'll make
Tea next, then guitar to a new CD
Then, at nine, Big Brother, and time to take
Two celebs out the house! No votes from me
Though - not eager to hand out my money
After that, League Cup highlights. Check Bradford
Beating Villa in last night's semi. Wake
Up, Midlands clubs, what's happening? Derby
Aren't ready to go up yet. Leicester could
(Unfortunately) - mucho cash at stake

Tuesday 22 January 2013

2331 - Back 2 Bacardi

Drank too much Bacardi last night, and threw
Not used to it, you see. Potato skins
Gathered in the plug hole, looking brand new
Undigested, though somewhat stomach-thinned
The large bottle a present from work friends
Just drinking tea now, I must pre-hydrate
Before attacking once more that rum blend
In truth, my stomach's still in tender state
But when something naughty's there, I can't wait
Or stop til it's all gone - how about you?
I won't finish it tonight - too much in
The bottle. I must practice some restraint
And save some of that clear cool hot stuff to
Polish off on Thursday on wobbly pins

Monday 21 January 2013

2330 - After the ball-ache

It was party night late last night next door
Sounded like fun but none of them can sing
And the bass was cranked up, the playing poor
But they're good mates, bless 'em, they're doin' their thing
They should know when the X Factor's coming
To town, they should pop down to do clown pop
And hope they go down well when Lou's voting
They started at 3, about 5 they stopped
While they were playing around I did drop
Off and dreamed of loud live music, but for
Only a few minutes. Tried listening
To Radio Four over their noise, strange crop
Of loud and quiet, but which one was the bore?
Too tired for playing axe, exercising

Sunday 20 January 2013

2329 - '94 on the floor

Listening to 90s Anthems, CD 2
Dreamer, by Livin' Joy (the first version)
After at long last having got round to
Scrubbing the mould off walls and corners when
I've been looking at it for lazy months
Most of it's off, I'll do it again next
Weekend. Robin S, Show Me Love, is on
And 'Hideaway' (De'Lacy) is just two tracks
Away, the sound of '94, heel clicks
On the dancefloor, and living room floor too
Watched 'Battle of Algiers' - Italian
Film from '65, before my attacks
In the battle against mould. Ce Ce knew
'Finally' this was it in her anthem

Saturday 19 January 2013

2328 - Ice cold in Stockport

Hired car at last minute to go sledging
With Jo in Lyme Park, and it was brilliant
Quick snack, loo visit, and then we're climbing
A steep slope, so slippery under our feet
The night's snowfall turned brown, smoothed and flattened
By slithering sliding sledges by the score
Like a free ride, circus without a tent
Funfair without a fare, ten times or more
You can climb then slide down again, the roar
Of ice beneath, improving like skating
Josie practised, and soon lessons were learned
No injuries, crying, wet feet, or sore
Stinging fingers, just laughs, when I'm running
Down the icy slope, couldn't stop, puff, pant!

Friday 18 January 2013

2327 - Fifty not out

It's my 50th birthday, oh my God
But why's that a surprise, that's like surprise
At day following night, bad after good
Why be so naive, why not be more wise
To keep life alive, we make sure it dies
Or rather, the universe does. It's fine
Those are the terms of life, we grow, we rise
To a peak, then we head towards decline
But look at it this way, we can remind
Ourselves so many times of times we had
Of times that youngsters read about, our eyes
And ears and bodies lived through, a gold mine
Of memories, yet we still never get bored
The art of life continues to be ours

Thursday 17 January 2013

2326 - It's a punderful life

A pressurised but fun day's work, and then
A new press-ups record, 21, plus
An hour's guitar practise - I don't know when
I did it this regularly. and there's
Rapid improvement to show. Marvellous
Gains from being disciplined and healthy
Tomorrow though this will all be reversed
For one day, my birthday, when I'm 50
That's a secret, okay? Tell nobody!
(Salford Confidential.) Out on the town
Tomorrow after work, could be raucous
Or maybe civilised - we will soon see
Snow's forecast, and a freezing cold weekend
We must all take care, life is dangerous!

Wednesday 16 January 2013

2325 - Does anyone know the way to Blockbuster?

Cold spell, well it's winter, what d'you expect
Hard times for the high street, shops closing down
Comet, Jessops, HMV, and the next
Is Blockbuster (my card can now be thrown)
Not been there for years, online sales have grown
So much, Lovefilm's where I rent from, and I
Don't have to go out in the cold, look round
Their shelves, or see popcorn in huge bags - why
Does watching a film mean scoffing that? Buy
Something healthy! They won't let you select
It in cinemas. They'd let us balloon
Around our middles! Balloon comedy
Tonight, at Comedy Balloon, inspect
The work of newbie comedians in town

Tuesday 15 January 2013

2324 - Salford Crescent Moon

Halfway through January, and the light
Is slowly coming back each day as I
Walk home from the office, a welcome sight
It's easier to see broken glass, pass by
It and dog shit, as in rude health I fly
Along the pavements of eastern Salford
A crescent moon observes through slitty eye
As I happily make my way homeward
This time of year we always look forward
To an improvement on the season's blight
We should remember though it won't be dry
Or sunny this summer - a time of flood
Is more likely, it seems there's no respite
And other countries, they're tinderbox dry!

Monday 14 January 2013

2323 - (Don't) run to the hills

Light snow last night though I saw no snow fall
In the hills there's more if you want, if not
Then maybe you should not live there at all
In rainy climes like ours, hill dwellers got
A rough climatic deal, but when it's hot
Maybe up there it's nice and cool, but how
Often's that the case? Just rain underfoot
On my way in to work. Bit earlier now -
My so-called reward for good behaviour
Doing my exercises each nightfall
Finding endless time to do things that would
Previously not get fitted in somehow
Like chores, like guitar, reading... what a ball
'Barchester Towers' rocks with clerical wit

Sunday 13 January 2013

2322 - The tobacco road not taken

After yesterday's marathon walking
In the name of family exploration
(Of Manchester's shops and galleries), drinking
To wind down when I got home, once the norm
I rejected as old habit, not done
If I wanted to conserve recent gains
In fitness - likewise smoking. I walked on
Home, buying nothing, unwanted poisons
Seen for what they were, struggling free of chains
Entirely mental, lonely time-wasting
I felt proud of my determination
No, it's not easy - the addict who wins
The battle with his demons keeps fighting
A lifelong war, fights again and again

Saturday 12 January 2013

2321 - Walk this way, and that way, and this way again

What a long day's walk, yet I felt so fit
Thanks to my recent exercise regime
Not just legs but upper body, a sprite
I was, collecting a parcel, full steam
Then to Piccadilly, got there on time
- Early, in fact - no need to be worried
About being late seeing Josephine
As usual, popped in first to All-U-Need
For snacks and drinks. Train to Manchester. Tried
Subway food, cheap but basic, the basket
Useful, I s'pose. To Chinatown, shopping
Then the Art Gallery, then a CD
And card for her mum's birthday, then trained it
Back to Wilmslow, then long walk home to mine

Friday 11 January 2013

2320 - Life train

Caught up on sleep last night, slept til near nine
When I arrived at work they were talking
About me - 'Talk of the devil...' but I'm
Not sure what they were actually saying
I wasn't bothered, though, they were smiling
And nice to me all day! It's my birthday
Soon, so hopefully they were discussing
What presents to give to me next Friday
Just before we go out to drink, eat, play
Another few steps in that march of time
Closer to the end of the journeying
The destination's nowhere. Under grey
Skies, this train shuffles slowly on its line
Hills left behind, the landscape flatlining


Thursday 10 January 2013

2319 - An eye-popping night

Awake half the night with the radio on
I'd been out that night, drank pints of Guinness
No longer used to beer, a stimulant
Effect was produced by those pints, I guess
Though I went to bed by twelve, this unrest
Meant I ended up tired and late for work
I slept the first two and a half hours, passed
(As quite a few times before) in a walk
Or run through rural scenes, a dream that talked
Of suppressed impressions fourteen years on
From my days of fell running through forest
And hill. Suddenly from this I awoke
To hear the mad story of the woman
Whose boyfriend gouged both her eyes out, no less

Wednesday 9 January 2013

2318 - Ain't it funny how beer slips away

No alcohol since December twenty
I'm proud of that, and though it seems stupid
Plans to drink tonight make me feel guilty
Although it's down the pub, not alone, hid
At home. Got cigs to go with beer - I should
Have resisted that habit, because twice
In December I drank in pubs and did
Not buy them then. It can be done, but he's
A smoker - the friend I'm meeting - not nice
To cadge cigs off him. People get frosty
When you do that. Buy your own coffin lid!
The next thing I'll do is some exercise
Then make something to eat. It's comedy
We're going to talk about. It will be weird.

Tuesday 8 January 2013

2317 - Waterloo - then and now

Winding down after press-ups and guitar
TV prog on the Regency period
A time of interest to me, that's for sure
With fat Prince George, Beau Brummel, all the blood
Of Waterloo, and Boney's now captured
Paraded on a ship just off Devon
The art of Turner develops; abroad
Go the Brits on their tours, there's Lord Byron
Then I watched Max Keiser - China / Japan
Conflict looms, saith the prophet, yes, there's war
On the way, US troops to be stationed
In Africa to fight the Chinese Hun
Til then, currency wars pitch the dollar
Against the renminbi, two paper swords

Monday 7 January 2013

2316 - Sick as a brick

Got through work okay, my first full day back
The cold is improving. Several coffees
Helped perk me up and got me back on track
And for the first time in a while, green teas
Helped hydrate me healthily as I breezed
Through emails and phone calls. The day went quick
Which is always good when at work. I seized
It and squeezed the breath out of it, my work
That is. However, I'm tempted to shirk
This evening, as so often. Though I lack
Full health and fitness right now, think I'll squeeze
My muscles and lungs into shape and work
Out on the bedroom rug, and then I'll crack
On for an hour with more guitar practice

Sunday 6 January 2013

2315 - Magical mystery tour '13

Not bad weather for early January
On the train to Wilmslow down in Cheshire
The usual reason, to see my Josie
Walk around and decide where to take her
As we talked, something made her remember
The swimming float she wanted for Christmas
She talked me into a taxi to the
Big John Lewis store, but big John Lewis
Didn't have floats or net bags, nor did this
Tennis centre (David Lloyd) nearby. We
Walked to Cheadle Hulme station, waited there
For the Stockport train. Why Stockport? Because
Jo had remembered 'Decathlon' sold the
Items she wanted. It's a cool sports store!

Saturday 5 January 2013

2314 - Great Toilet Bowl

Been reading a lot while home with this cold
Pearl's Christmas present was a book about
100 objects, some new, but most old
In the British Museum, and I browsed
Through it in a few days. Now got my snout
In a recent Frankie Boyle book, easy
To devour on the sofa. Not going out
Is OK, walking in the rain maybe
Got me in this state anyway. We'll be
Wet a lot more from now on, so we're told
By climate change prophets. Heat brings about
More clouds and thus more rain, reliably
Dumping on the UK, a toilet bowl
Of the gods is where we Brits are now housed

Friday 4 January 2013

2313 - Ports of thoughts

Bad cold, like I told you just yesterday
Today I stayed off work, philanthropist
That I am, keeping germs safely away
From workmates, though still an empty office
Post-Christmas, not many to give the kiss
Of death to, or discomfort, more like, that
Creates teeming streams of snot that all rush
Down to a green sea of literary snot
This wouldn't mix well with the rain we've had
And we'd all drown in words going astray
Diluted, distributed and dismissed
From memory, though not all of it is bad
In fact, momentary thoughts make every day
Different and exciting, to be cherished

Thursday 3 January 2013

2312 - Cure for the common cold

Bad cold, sniffing and sneezing. My nostrils
Are like a flushing toilet, a cloudburst
A flooded high street, or Niagara Falls
This is some bug, a while since I felt worse
Although that bad neck was injurious
I've left work early, relaxing at home
Yesterday I did good exercises
New record of 16 press-ups was done
And a long guitar practice, playing along
To about 50 songs. Now I'm too ill
To do much, the most liquid of noses
Makes doing stuff hard. My work cycle's on
Though - got up at half-eight, not half-ten. Will
Go to bed early tonight - that's a must!

Wednesday 2 January 2013

2311 - Machine gun

Coffee, TV, washing machine, flat, world
Consciousness, eyes, skin, hair, lungs, heart, liver
News, death but not birth, hate not love, it's old
But new to each unknown new-born seer
The forgotten have forgot they were here
They lost out being first, there was less then
Now there's too much, will cost the next lot dear
The difference between computer and pen
Technology has outstripped the human
It's smarter than its users and its world
But it still needs its users to give a
Breath of real life, a breath full of poison
Garbage in, garbage out, plug can't be pulled
Machines are our slaves, driving us faster

Tuesday 1 January 2013

2310 - Life and death science

Welcome to 2013, we're all teens
Again, like we were in the First World War
Learning the harsh truths again, although seen
Through gas clouds darkly. Pax Nucleana
Has saved our souls lately. Are we before
A new technology replacing bombs
With something else that kills, but saves the floor
And buildings for our vanquishers? What comes
From hoarded wealth, if not emptying homes
Of poor opponents worldwide? The earth teems
And cash can't be spread that thin. Jehovah
Sent witnesses to warn there wasn't room
For more mortal life, but confess your sins
New births will stop, and we'll live forever