3289 - Snigger Lounge

Amazingly, despite last night's late night
And a busy day at work following
I went out tonight to comedy night
At Tiger Lounge, 'bout which I been hearing
And enjoyed the acts, sitting there watching
A Guinness then two cheap ciders I drank
Met a few new people, reacquainting
Myself with Tuesday Tony, and to think
Some of these guys were good, no, no-one stank
So not much time but tomorrow I might
Have to up my game to be impressing
What will I do, will look at the jokes bank
And look at the material from last night
I didn't do, and do quick rehearsing!

3272 - In cold flat

Woke up real late, about ten, but since then
I've done quite a lot, and brain's sleepy now
Finished 'In Cold Blood' started end of June
My progress through it has been rather slow
But it was a good read. Long tome ago
Before I was born, a terrible crime
Was done in Kansas, people said, 'Oh no!
The poor Clutters!' They met their hanging time
After 5 years on Death Row, pantomime
Of appeals exhausted, as despised men
But Capote had interviewed them so
Extensively, this book really does chime
With crime fans and more serious readers when
He probes and seems to take us there somehow

3270 - A pizza the action

Hello, you little bastards. now I will
Summarise what happened this evening, try
Anyway. Assorted losers, a fill
Of people who have failed and yet still I
Have had a laugh with them. Pizza we try
To cook in the oven, tomato, cheese
The most basic boring pizza, sigh, sigh
But we're eating this basic stuff, oh please
But then again, my stomach will now squeeze
Some shit pizza in, try to get my fill
I forgot about food, hunger bye bye
But I shouldn't do that, no, I must seize
The day, and this shit pizza, if you will
Oh no, I said that, how stupid am I?!!

3262 - Shock defeat for the Grim Reaper

After work I went film-watching again
Been to three films at Home this month. Tonight
It was a film about Wilko Johnson
Not much about his music, but his fight
Against pancreatic cancer, giant
Tumour eventually being cut right out
In an operation, leaving him quite
Free of cancer, it seems. Saw him about
Three months ago at The Ritz - he was flout-
ing the idea of death, illness or pain
After tonight's film, they discussed the sight
We'd just seen, and Wilko's successful bout
With the Grim Reaper, Julien Temple sayin'
How much fun they had filming it. Good night!

3249 - Don't weaken at the weekend

Quite easily dispensed with booze Friday
I mean I didn't get any tonight
Quite pleased with that, the saving anyway
But then I've been messaged and now I might
Nay, will be out for a drink, not a bite
On Saturday. Oh well, I can afford
It this time, thanks to Javier's deposit
Still largely unspent. Sunday, though, I would
Like to buy a table and chair he could
Sit at in that room. Bed arrives Monday
And he arrives Tuesday - early that night
I hope. And now I'm thirsty, so I should
And will knock back some milk very shortly
As soon as this last line I finally write...

3247 - Tired but not fired

Bit tired today, think it's cos was awake
A lot in the night. Not many people
In this week, Andy the boss has bad back
And Helen's son bashed his head and is ill
While Julie was off today, Emma still
Came in even though she had a sore head
What a heroine! Angela meanwhile
Was in, but far-off, quite isolated
And Caroline was in, Steve too. To bed
Quite early tonight, for my own lil sake
Tomorrow's meeting is my appraisal
The first quarterly one, showing the lead
In how I'll be marked this year. Will they take
The piss again? They have done, as a rule

3245 - Rain rain, you won't go away

In between two viewings this second evening
Last night, the Polish girl, tonight, Javier
From Spain (with two mates). While here, heard the ring
Of my phone, someone else, she's called Eva
Is coming to view it in half an hour
It's very dark, rain-clouds grey and heavy
Not a great advert for British summer
And tomorrow night, for the comedy
The forecast's terrible, don't think I'll be
Taking my guitar, probably not doing
The song-based act I had planned, so I'll spare
Myself rehearsals of them, and maybe
Instead tonight I'll do some selecting
Of old jokes and write new ones to try there

3244 - Room with a view, and a boiler

I've finally advertised the flat. I took
Some good photos before the clouds appeared
And the skies opened. One girl came to look
As soon as the ad was placed. It looked good
She seemed keen, but saw the room, is afraid
Of boilers, and decided to say no
A Polish girl in leather, but she said
No.... Immediately she was keen to go
Oh well, this happens a lot, I don't know
Who'll say yes, hope they're not mad, and not fucked
Up in the head, and therefore not too weird
Tomorrow, a guy called Javier will show
Up at seven, no bed yet, but with luck
I can get one quickly from Old Trafford

3223 - Age of enlightenment (of the hair)

Went with Josie to Old T yet again
This time there was a fun match on
Man U Legends (old players) up against
Bayern Munich All-Stars, including one
Old great from my childhood years, the German
World Cup winner from '74, Paul
Breitner, then he had an afro, long gone
Now just thin grey hair ... how the hair does fall
Out in places, and get thinner. It's all
So inevitable, Paul. Yes, a win
For the home team, Jo's brought luck when we've gone
To watch games there, three out of three. Walk tall
United fans, though they're below the en-
emy, City, at present (they've less funds...!!)

3214 - Have a break, have a chit-chat

A nice sunny summer evening. Trouble is
I'm finding it hard to resist the lure
Of a relaxing drink and smoke, though this
Is what I did last night, had so much brew
While out and then back at home, had to pour
The last half-bottle away down the sink
Just had to go to bed at last, before
There wasn't time to sleep before getting
Up for work. At work, not that many in
Our team were there, but good old Emma was
And so we had a good chat, good jaw-jaw
Some fun and some quite serious discussion
It's reassured me that sometimes at least
Some people aren't so bad as others are

3200 - People come and go

Late night sonnet writing ain't so easy
Especially if you're a little worse for
Wear, as is obvious to people free
Of prior association before
They know me or you and so then therefore
They judge but unfairly, knowing nothing
I had to do stuff at work that was poor
No back-up, from absent managers, things
Were sorted. After that, Tracey's leaving
Do and plenty of drink was drunk, you see
Now I'm back home, and things don't seem so sore
Indeed, I'm celebrating, enjoying
Just being here, safe and sound, and simply
Seeing it through, relaxing like of yore

Fri 22 May


       

3198 - That will be the week, that will

Just written four songs with funny lyrics
Replacing the conventional old words
A set I hope to do twice in next week's
Comedy slots - it may not win awards
It should, but we don't get our just deserts
However, enemies just make us strong
In order to survive their gunfire bursts
Like superheroes, we just can't be flung
Like superheroes, we can do no wrong
Our confidence can overcome their tricks
Our righteousness overcomes their absurd
And when the time comes to unleash our tongue
We'll spit them into space with verbal licks
They'll return to earth broken, sheathe their swords

3195 - That was the two weeks, that was

So many holiday pictures I took
Been posting them today, it took all day
First, posting them from phone onto Facebook
Replying to comments was fun, I'd say
But now I'm numbering them, not yet half-way
Through that process, and saving to hard drive
Good to relive it all, though, all that way
I travelled, walked like you wouldn't believe
It's reminded me all those things I strove
To pack into each day, people will look
At those pix and wonder, and some may say
'I want to go there,' and some may just grieve
That they can't, but despite their sad bad luck
I hope they liked seeing my holiday!

3178 - Eastern bloc blog 'bout Prague

First full day in Prague, first full day's always
Exciting, getting used to a new land
Getting to know the buses and tramways
Two tours I've done, helped me to understand
The layout of old Prague, and then beyond
(On the 'alternative tour'). Saw street art
Saw galleries (from the outside!) and learned
About 3D printers and bitcoins, part
Of the changing world, try to take to heart
Nika was the morning guide, a nice face
From Ljubljana. Tomas was the 'art man'
In the afternoon, at Cross Club, then part
At Florenc station, bus back to my stay
At Elf Hostel. Most of it's gone as planned!

Thur 30 April

3146 - Ramming the point home

Been watching three episodes of The Bridge
And it's tired me out! Also I should read
While I've got some free time, my heritage
As a Derby fan well celebrated
By 'Clough's War' which suggests Clough was indeed
An out-of-control maverick, his own worst
Enemy at times, but brilliant, afraid
Of none, unable perhaps to stop cursed
Honesty that does us no good, a burst
Of ill-chosen words causing a wreckage
Of bad feelings when none were intended
Still, though Derby were left behind, Forest
Were the winners in the end - he managed
Them to two European Cups, he did

3134 - Stay strong

People disappoint, so you carry on
With each rebuff, you garner a bit more
Self-belief, you just have a bit more fun
Strength of character, borne out of those bores
You realise that all they have is poor
Compared to your hard won separateness
If you can keep that, then they can't compare
There is such a thing as your righteousness
As one with people who have passed the test
Walked through fire, tempered themselves with iron
And nothing frightens you then, you are sore
But have the weapons to resist their guess
Their lack of knowledge, their innate boredom
Who cares what they think, their thoughts make you snore

Tue 17 March

3116 - Cell bent

Jihadi John's identity revealed
He's now a halal butcher, human meat
Meanwhile Gary Glitter is once more jailed
Do you wanna be in my cell, eh mate?
Ed Gastricband's sloganeering now starts
In earnest, how long's he waited to come
Up with eye-catching ideas for your vote?
Meanwhile the incumbent, Dave Cameron
Is willing to debate with Gastricband
But not Farage, his fear barely concealed
Of being made to look a fool, being beat
By the UKIP man. Oh dear - Spock has gone
Where's Spock, indeed, Spizz Energi! He's keeled
Over, his ears have curled, his voyage complete

3111 - Pavilion panorama and paranoia

I've caught my first cold this winter, and so
I'm staying home, not off to see Josie
Glad I'm not out in rainfall and wind blow
Some good pictures from Brighton - you should see
The previous two days' diary, the entries
Containing pix taken when the sun shone
Which makes the whole scene look much more friendly
And stunning as it lights the Pavilion
Yesterday stood in Vic and Bert's bedroom
Funny to think they lay there long ago
Perhaps even producing a pickney
Put off though by unwanted attention
From the local commoners; didn't go
Back there too often, oh spoiled royalty!

3108 - Bathist Party

Comedy bitches bitch about bitching
They should spend more time thinking up some jokes
Oh but they don't do jokes because they think
Because they're no good at that they can poke
Bitchy fingers at those who can, and stoke
Resentment against them. Always happens
I first found this in the 90s. Can cope
Better with it now, now I know that 'friends'
Are only trying to get somewhere, ascend
The ladder using climbing skills, stepping
On others in the process, like those folk
In Hollywood, though this is Salford. Guess their end
Justifies their means. But still wondering
Why they don't just sit in the bath and soak

3080 - Fergie-ergie-ergie

It's a cold winter, colder than summer
I hate winter, I wish it was more hot
The heating bills rise, hey what a bummer
I think the whole thing is a Tory plot
Meanwhile, Prince Andrew's in water that's not
Cool, over this sex scandal, more than just
Licking Fergie's toes this time. Boiling pot
Of a story, shagging girls who were lost
Somehow in upper-class orgies, the lust
Of the wealthy and powerful catered
For secretly, for royals, no doubt got
For free as part of privilege that's past
Scrutiny, scrotally totally fair
Cos life ain't equal. We must lick his bot...