My laptop has been given to a friend
He's gonna fix it, put right what went wrong
He's gonna do his very best to mend
The mess made of it by that stupid schlong
In Salford, whose number I'd obtained from
The Yellow Pages, but who messed it up
Computers are like cars; depend upon
Someone to fix them, and they'll cock it up
Or rip you off as well as screw it up
My flat tyre waits for me; I'll have to spend
Precious December spondoolicks on one
New tyre: cost, 40 quid at Kwik Fit. Stop
This money-wasting! Gotta reach the end
Of the year solvent, when Auld Lang Syne's sung
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