3174 - Phoney baloney

Phone trouble on the eve of holidays
This is bad timing, the camera is broke
Can't connect to Facebook or read emails
If I don't get this sorted, travel's fucked
And holiday snaps will go up in smoke
Not sure what to do, guess I'll have to talk
Tomorrow lunchtime to O2 shop guys
Or maybe the Samsung repair shop, walk
In there for the third time before goodbyes
To the UK? But time is short, it flies
Before I fly spray-on tan orangeways
That's EasyJet to you and me, a look
Out of the window at the clouds always
Cheers me on my way, this time it's to Prague!

3081 - Derby-erby-erby

I feel quite pumped up, work busy today
Just drinking coffee, guess I'll eat later
Might watch the FA Cup, but first I'll play
Guitar, then I'll tune in to Manchester
United v Cambridge (no-hopers!)
No contest, the Reds will win easily
In which case I'll switch and watch Big Brother
Later on still, sitcom, 'Catastrophe'
Looks worth a try, hope it will prove funny
Meanwhile, tomorrow, that is the big day
When me and Louis drive to Derby for
An FA Cup match (Rams / Chesterfield). We
Will drive there, like the old days. The UK
Was criss-crossed going to games.

3003 - Statistical fireworks

Republicans make big gains in the States
They're all saying Obama is washed up
Even the Democratic candidates
In their campaigns just didn't want his help
Meanwhile, in the UK, there is a blip
In the anti-immigrant argument
Statistics in a new report a ripe
Riposte, showing the gains from immigrants
However, other factors also count
The main one being opening the gates
To too many. They may be good, but stop
A second, look at the fat lazy cunts
Already here, the stupid, obese NEETS
Hope that was politically correct - oops...

2965 - UKDK

It's not going well for Tories or Labour
The two main parties are both losing friends
Maybe Salmond was right 'bout Westminster
The same feeling exists here in England
And no doubt in Wales and Northern Ireland
At least those two have their own small parties
That exert some power and some influence
Locally and nationally, unlike these
MPs of Labour and of the Tories
London-dominated, centralised, power
Exerted by the rich, throwing fag-ends
Of spin our way, especially as it nears
Election time. Well, maybe there'll be a
Swing away from them and their cosy ends

Sun 28 Sep

2955 - Gorge-ous

Today could be Scots' independence day
The day the Jocks vote, their referendum
On whether to stay or leave the UK
Although it affects us, it's up to them
There could be reprisals from Cameron
If they have the audacity to go
Meanwhile today in Greece it's been good fun
Got up early, got lost bag back, that's so
Lucky, it contained my passport! We showed
A fleet foot in the Vikos Gorge today
Good exercise, though quite a strain for some
Mainly shaded by trees, pleasant to go
Along. Got a lift back from the cafe-
Owner at Vikos. Shared ride with Germans

Thur 18 Sep

2459 - Getting in tune

I've done two days of exercises now
Yee-ha! I'm feeling fit as a fiddle
Maybe I'll ruin it later, somehow
But for now, I'm feeling good, and I will
Shortly rehearse Friday's act with a twirl
On guitar and harmonica, refine
The act, then practise once more, have my fill
Of great guitar-playing, so I sound fine
Sooner or later. Louis' out and I'm
Home alone, with the news on, wondering how
Scotland could prosper, as such a little
Country, despite big claims of a great time
Of wealth to come? It's forecast they'll vote No
To independence next year. Time will tell!

2400 - From Maine Road to Rodney Parade

Been driving down to Wales and back today
In an Avis hired Skoda car (diesel)
To watch, with Louis, Newport County play
Torquay. Newport acquitted themselves well
Winning 2-1. Now we've seen all football
Clubs in league competition. We started
With Manchester City at Maine Road, all
Those years ago when Louis was 10. Sped
Down the M6, then M5, diverted
Onto the M50 with no delay
Got to Newport by one, but somehow still
Were almost late for the game, were misled
About where the stadium was, and it lay
A long walk from where we parked - what the hell!!

Sat 28 Sept 2013

2514 - Royal roulette

I haven't mentioned the royal baby
Yet, so as not much happening today
Apart from a guitar practice maybe
And doing my exercises, I should pay
Tribute to Bill and Katy, great that they
Got it together like so many do
And produced offspring - what's more, it's a boy
So after all these years of queen, the new
Century will be mainly kings. Folks who
Get cross about the royals don't really
Like their undeserved riches, or the way
They seem to rule us, like lords used to do
But it's good fun, though it's wrong morally
Power, riches, the chips fall where they may

2407 - Lucky strike

Well I woke up this morning real early
'Bout a half-past five, to be quite precise
Not too sure why, a vivid dream, maybe
Then as I lay there, mouth dry, not anxious
Got up for water, back down, realised
It was okay to have got drunk last night
See, today was a day off work - why? 'Cause
HMRC's on strike, cos of the plight
Of the poor civil servants you all hate
I would too if I wasn't one, hee hee
Just heard - at last  - yes - Maggie Thatcher dies
She left the UK in a right old state
Tonight, though, it's the Manchester derby
Unlike last year, City's a hopeless cause

2005 - Boyne Baby Boyne

Dubya Bush's back (why?), Iraq at polls
Kyrgyz trouble, China says Taiwan's ours
Pope JP2 dies, Benedict enrols
I'm in my new flat in Salford some days
Then back to Wilmslow, domestic affrays
Blair wins third election, bombs in London
Hurricane Katrina, south USA's
Day of dread. Baghdad bridge is falling down
Muhammad cartoons, Kashmir earthquake, and
Saddam on trial. French face transplant unfolds
My job is excise policy, the laws
That govern aggregates levy. We've gone
To Dublin and the Boyne Valley, car rolls
Along Irish roads with Pearl and Louis

1999 - Party like it's Y2K

The euro's here, and new King of Jordan
Poland, Czech and Hungary join NATO,
Who bomb the Serbs in Kosovo. Clinton
Isn't impeached. Columbine inferno
Mont Blanc tunnel fire. Death of Jill Dando
Nail bombs in London. Scots, Welsh Parliaments
Milosevic war criminal, now go
Say crowds in Belgrade. Napster circumvents
The music industry. Solar eclipse
Earthquake in Turkey, while in Pakistan
Musharraf's army coup. Man U Euro
Cup winners. Two holidays, as I spend
My security guard earnings - biked from
John o' Groats to Land's End, and French drive, too

1997 - You can run, but...

Divorce finds Ireland, Tamil Tigers fight
Algerian war and Tupac in Peru
Hale-Bopp Comet, suicide at Heaven's Gate
Versace shot and Blair PM, woo-hoo
Bertie Ahearn hello, bye Mobutu
Hong Kong goes back to China, and Di dies
Louise shakes baby, Teresa dies too
Scots and Welsh parliaments soon, French truck strikes
Block ports, hello to Mary McAleese
Luxor shootings, Kyoto saves climate
JK Rowling and Philip Pullman do
Kids sci-fi, Titanic and Girls of Spice
Mike Tyson bites an ear, I run up quite
Tall hills, drive my green Ford, and move anew

1994 - From the Yorkshire Moors to the West Bank

Bosnia's still a seething cauldron of hate
The Scream is stolen, oh no, oh Oslo
Fred and Rose West, don't go inside their gate
Baruch Goldstein and Kurt Cobain's gun show
Somalia's a failure, say US. Whoa -
Berlusconi wins in Italy and
Andreotti had Mafia links. Don't go
To Rwanda, they're chopping off their hands
And killing in the churches. Nelson Mand-
ela President. John Smith dies, Blair takes
Job from Brown. OJ Simpson, drive more slow
US lands in Haiti, and Brazil lands
USA World Cup, IRA placate
I head north by bike, and love to video

1993 - View from a bike

Czech out the old country splitting in two
Salvatore 'The Beast' caught, Palermo
Bush Senior replaced by Clinton...and who
Placed bombs in the World Trade Center? Waco
Fire kills Koresh's cult. North Korea no
Fan of non-proliferation. A bomb
In Warrington, and Jiang Zemin's the new
Chinese leader. Stephen Lawrence dies young
Stabbed at a bus stop. John Wayne Bobbit's schlong
Isn't so long now. A Zambian plane flew
Its footballers to death. The PLO
And Israel sign peace accords. Mike Jackson
A child molester? Suede, Ace of Base, new
Home in Burnage, bike ride to London...Go!

1992 - Yugo, I'll stay

The break-up of old Yugoslavia
Quite clean in Slovenia and Croatia
But dirtier in mixed-up Bosnia
Serbs, Croats and Bosniaks are all there
Sarajevo the flashpoint area
The EC gets much closer together
Becoming the EU at Maastricht. The
Danes reject it however. Jeff Dahmer
Sentenced to life (he's killed two years later)
LA riots after Rod King's assaulters
Acquitted. Judge Falcone, Mafia
Scourge, is killed. Bones of Tsar and Tsarina
Islamic election, Algeria
Quashed by army. Charles and Di split uproar

1990 - Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble

Manuel in Panama is treated rough
Stasi HQ, Berlin, records surveyed
Soviet satellite states, they've had enough
Nelson Mandela walks out of the shade
Anti-poll tax fights and Europe have made
Maggie vulnerable to the circling sharks
Strangeways prisoners up on the roof, they've stayed
There three weeks. The Hubble stares at the stars
Yemen unites, IRA shoots soldiers
On Lichfield station platform, a real duff
World Cup Final and a Mecca stampede
Iraq invades Kuwait, Germany is
One, Thatcher goes... and Louis starts his life
I start work as a VAT Man and get paid!

1987 - More time on Maggie's Farm

Reagan held to blame for Contra scandal
Zeebrugge ferry sinks, Iraq's gas bombs
Thatcher wins for a third time at the poll
The world population is 5 billion
Docklands Light Railway, Hess dead in prison
Hurricane in England, Black Monday hits
King's Cross fire, IRA Enniskillen
Intifada, Palestinian conflict
Lethal Weapons and Full Metal Jackets
Spycatcher and Commitments (Roddy Doyle)
Mike's Bad, George has Faith, there's Roses n' Guns
Mike Tyson, Steve Davis, Nelson Piquet
I graduate and we live in Lichfield
A while, then Mancs again, now she's pregnant

1984 - Marvin, the dead can dance

The Apple Mac lives and Andropov dies
The year-long British coal strike starts, Scargill
Against Thatcher. Old Tommy Cooper dies
'Just like that...' and Yvonne Fletcher is killed
Indian troops storm the Sikhs' Golden Temple
Amritsar, and Indira Gandhi's killed
In revenge. The LA Olympics held
Reagan jokes about bombing Russia, old
Cold war humour. The Nicaraguan polls
Show the Sandinistas have won the prize
Thousands killed by chemicals in Bhopal
The bombing of Thatcher's Brighton hotel
Reagan beats Mondale, Ethiopia dies
And American Studies going well

1982 - Fun on the dole

A plane crashes into the Potomac
UK unemployed over 3 million
Laker crashes and Haughey's the Taoiseach
Chariots of Fire, the Argentines land on
The Falklands, Gotcha, Rejoice, we have won!
Villa Euro Champs, the World Cup in Spain
Prince William and the SDP are born
Geoffrey Prime, Sun Myung Moon, Michael Fagan
IRA bombs London, Beirut camps shame
Schmidt becomes Kohl, we're rolling down the track
From Calella to Barcelona in
September sunshine, Mary Rose regained
Brezhnev expires, CD players, Mike Jack-
son's Thriller, Grace dies, The Tube and Countdown

1980 - A kick up the eighties

Andrei Sakharov exiled to Gorky
Banisadr PM of Iran briefly
Israel and Egypt become more friendly
Carter's hostage rescue crashes badly
Mugabe is PM of Zimbabwe
Moscow Games boycotted by USA
Bristol riots, SAS embassy
Tito dies, Mount St Helens skies heavy
Quebec stays Canuck, Pac-Man game's funny
Lech Walesa and Solidarity
At Ayer's Rock, dingo takes a baby
Iraq attacks Iran, new Pres Ronnie
Who shot JR and Lennon, NYC
Ian Curtis hangs himself, closer to thee