3192 - Back in the UKUK

So here I am back home, but honestly
I couldn't afford to be away more
I was shocked at my bank account money
Though I shouldn't be. First there was the floor
Of my flat last month, done by the builder
And after that I went on my travels
Specifically, a European tour
To Czech Republic, German towns and hills
And Austria, where I heard no yodels
I'm still in Europe in my head. You see
All these great buildings and Germanic lore
In museums and all around. It fills
Your head, immersed in sights and history
But you don't want to travel forever

3186 - Lake Dischtricht

My good luck on this holiday has held
Berchtesgaden's an outdoor kind of place
The sun shone til 4:30, so we sailed
(Me and a guy called Jet) on this high lake
Called Konigsee (King's Lake) and saw the face
Of Mt Watzmann, the second highest peak
In Germany. At the far side, amazed
At the beauty of Obersee, and walked
Alongside it and beyond, trying to seek
A route up the steep hill to waterfall
Was successful. Next, because of footache
No more long walks, but cable-car technique
Took us up Mt Jenner, where we beheld
Great views of lake and Berchtesgaden. Ace!

Fri 8 May

3185 - Burgers and beer gardens in Berchtesgaden

The journey went well, finally left Munich
By bus to Salzburg, then back to Deutschland
Immediately by train, to Burger King
Hostel in Berchtesgaden, afternoon
'Bout half-past one, the sun was shining down
Made enquiries at the tourist office
And also found a Lidl store, and found
An amazingly cheap beer store with its
Prices of good bottled beer, only cents
Each (less than one euro), and so I picked
Up five of these local beers for the grand
Sum of only six euros - under six
Actually! Heaven! Met Jet, went walking
Round Berchtesgaden. Now bedtime's at hand...

Thur 7 May

3184 - A father, who art in Munich

This is my last full day in Munich and
It was very similar to yesterday
But reversed in order. First, art. Began
With a visit to the Alte Pinakothek
You just gotta love a Flemish master
Or fifty. Plus Rubens, Rembrandt, works not
As well-known to me simply because they're
Not housed in London. After I came out
Of there, the sky cleared, and I had a good
Walk round the 'English Garden' which was grand
Except that I just kept losing my way
Never did find the Chinese Tower! I fought
My way out of that maze to watch Bayern
Get hammered 3-0 by Barca today

Wed 6 May

3183 - Munching in Munchen (at last)

A hot day, did not need to take my coat
Got the U-bahn to the Olympic zone
Really liked the stadium and how it's set
In a park with great views of tower and town
If you climb the hill built on things knocked down
And turned to rubble by British bombing
In the war, then they let grass grow upon
It all, and hey - some nice hills! Tasting
Currywurst for the first time. Interesting
But too much tomato. Then, welcome seat
On the tube to Allianz Arena, home
To Bayern Munich football team. Going
Back to the centre. New museum's got
Lots of info on Nazi Munich. Boom!

Tue 5 May

3182 - No munching in Munchen

I'll write this now, while I'm here just waiting
For Minji Kim to message, so I know
Where to meet, although I have an inkling
She said Odeonsplatz, but that's lacking
In detail. I've just been there - it's quite big
Which cafe are they in? And they're eating
While I'm starving, but maybe I could go
Without food, just drink beer, from stein I'll swig
And if need be, a takeaway to dig
At the hunger if it comes later. So...
Spoke to a nice Romanian nurse sitting
On the train to Munich. Once here, I go
Straight into a 'Third Reich tour' - fun seeing
Inside the Hofbrauhaus. More beer halls now?

Mon 4 May

3180 - Not such a blue night after all!

I'm writing this on Sunday, I'm afraid
But that is because of last night's night out
In Nuremberg with Julius - went on late
He was supposed to go at ten, did not
And in the end missed his train, stuck about
The station all night, I suppose - oh dear
He seemed to lose his bearings easily
At least I found the station. Drank some beer -
Much beer, even - thank God I didn't steer
In the direction of Bamberg! (He'd said
Let's meet there!) After dark, buildings were lit
In blue light, but missed it all. Did see a
Flaming sculpture, though. I slept well, delayed
Getting up til 12. Missed breakfast, no doubt!

Sat 2 May

3173 - United in Munich

Am enjoying my evening, had good day
With Josie in Arndale and Old Trafford
A bit of rain but mainly stayed away
And quite warm sunshine meant that it felt good
Strangely when we got to Old T Jo did
Not want to look round the club shop this time
So with the Jappy snappers, stood outside
Then wandered off to Lowry mall, a fine
Mocha in Costa til six, then soon flyin'
Home by tram and train. Now my holiday
Is looking even better, yes I've scored
A hit tonight, I'm meeting Minji Kim
In Munich. For timing that good I'd pray
But no need, it's gonna happen, by God!

3171 - Prague pilgrim's progress

Getting in the holiday zone of mind
Excitement builds. Today, getting my phone
Mended so I can charge it and still find
Power to post on Twitter. Having flown
To Prague, I'll want and need to have well shown
The sights I see, the folk I meet, also
In German places, beer and mountains grown
To gross proportions, only goats may go
To those high heights! My German learning's slow
I'm struggling to study the lingo, kind
Of lazy maybe, but distraction's blown
It away, along with 'Dragon Tattoo'
(The book), but I could catch up when flyin'
Or waitin' in stations for trains to come

3155 - Flat broke!

I'm enjoying the new flat floors today
Of course floors are flat - you know what I mean
The new floors in my flat, done yesterday
At lunchtime I went to the bank to clean
Out my account of £600. Mean
Old me does not like that, oh no
But it's a good price, three rooms looking mean
And modern! Got to save before I go
On holiday, or else I will have no
Spends for it! To do that I'll have to stay
In mostly; I can read and learn German
And practice guitar, practice for some shows
Mainly First Draft, but also comedy
At the King's Arms. It's still a happening scene

3151 - Easter funnies

A quiet day at home, though trying quite hard
To do useful stuff. I worked on my act
Got some lyrics for my joke songs that should
Be good for 20th April, First Draft
Watched some TV, comedians from the past
Rik Mayall, Peter Sellers and Bob Hope
Fry and Laurie (on Wogan), lots of laughs
But now sadly I'm losing any hope
As I listen to Derby trying to grope
Their way back up to the top spots, but Lord!
They're behind at home to Watford. They've cracked
Partly due to injuries, they can't cope
With the pressure, it seems. Tomorrow would
Be a chance to learn some German. Mein Kraft!

3115 - Season of good swill

Much more relaxing evening, staying in
Chatted to Louis and watched some football
Already the season is now heading
Towards its climax, with no festival
At the end this time, no World Cup to thrill
Us all. Just thought - my springtime holiday
This year is going to coincide with all
The end-of-season crunch matches. Derby
Will maybe clinch promotion in those days
While I'll be otherwise engaged looking
For a good time in mid-Europe. Might call
In on some bars in Munich, I dare say
They might be fun anyway, but showing
Those English games and all the leagues' results

3103 - Manic Mancs in Munich

Brought Jo to my flat today to watch stuff
Mainly football stuff as usual these days
She's not been here for ages, she was much
Smaller the last time. YouTube made this noise
As we watched the film about '58's
Munich air disaster, spoilt it a bit
A film that highlighted contrasting fates
Of Edwards and Charlton. I won't visit
Munich Airport when I go there soon, it
Will be by train from Nuremberg. Got off
Lightly, Jo's mum collected her downstairs
In the car park belonging to these flats
So now the evening's my own, but I'm of
The expectation Lou may show his face...

3037 - Drunk as a sober skunk

A rainy day, a cat and a dog day
Bad weather in Manchester shock, oh my!
First time in a month, comedy, hurray
Maintained, while doing that, my state of dry
I.e. no beer for me, though Dermot tried
To knock back Guinness, only two pints, mind
Not like the old days, five or six pints plied
And necked on a long session. Now we're kind
To wallets and bodies. Not hard to find
Non-alcoholic beer that tastes OK
Today it was Bavaria, nice to try
I've got a trip there in the spring, I've lined
Up Munich as one stop, on holiday
Next spring, when I'll drink real beer, me oh my!

2889 - Seasons of my goal

It's today now, it's always today now
But how long does now last, that's the question
And is time real, the enquiring mind allow
For the existence of each small moment
Is there a real difference between the sun
Tomorrow and today or yesterday
Does it matter who's here and who has gone
Does it matter what you or I both say
Or whether we go this or go that way
It's World Cup Final day, we're wondering how
The game will go for the Argentinians
And the Germans. We'll know later today
Or tonight, night and day's the same somehow
Specially in summer, winter, all seasons

2880 - Rain in vain

A rainy afternoon and evening
In Manchester, not really a surprise
A half-day's work, then plenty of eating
At Buffet City, belly big as eyes
With Nancy, first night out for two weeks. Sized
Up the chavs, ate our fill, then up the road
To the B-Lounge (The Brunswick) after five
Watched Germany beat France, chatted a load
Stayed there, few Guinnesses, Brazil allowed
By hook or crook to progress, denying
Colombia a good goal. Had surmised
Brazil would go through. Decided we should
Relocate to The Castle. More drinking
A long night in the end, said my bye-byes...

Friday 4 July

2378 - Hitler Schitler

Another series on Adolf Hitler
This time on Channel 4, starting Sunday
Yes, it's a fascinating subject, the
Rise to total power of a friendless guy
Who found his real artistic talent lay
In creative advancement of evil
And so should still be watched, especially
By the young who have not yet had their fill
Sadly his escapades do seem to thrill
Each new generation. Would they be here
At all if he'd fulfilled his plans to lay
Waste to Europe, west and east, and then all
Others, had he got first to the nuclear
Button? But it's entertainment now, hey!

2119 - Wayne Rooney is small leggy

I got drunk and I went to bed, forgot
To write my daily diary, it seems
There's nothing worse than drink, makes me omit
My highest calling, my loftiest themes
My daily sonnet, source of self-esteem
It's not that I expected victory
Although optimism cautiously beamed
But had England not lost the penalty
Shoot-out against the Blues of Italy
Their Pyrrhic gain would have been to get shot
By German marksmen, goal-hungry machines
In stark contrast to poor short fat Rooney
Who without help from mates at United
Once again proved no thespian of dreams

2117 - The hot gates of the Greek goalposts

As Germany play Greece, will the result
Reflect the economic thrashing the
Germans have given the Greeks, an insult
To the proud engine of democracy
The unfortunate answer's probably
The Germans are one up, here comes the flood
One suspects, or can, like Thermopylae
The Greek warriors hold the enemy, blood
Notwithstanding, still standing, making good
Their proud ambition, not leaving the field
Alive except with full integrity
And honour befitting their bronzed manhood?
I can't see it, but miracles aren't foiled
By narrow mortal thought - they are crazy!

2108 - Deutschland uber alles in fussball

One of these days Germany will have bad
Luck in a major football game, and go
Out even though they may have played well. Had
Decades of luck in tournaments. Although
They're rarely favourites and usually below
Others in flair, they always get the luck
Take that World Cup game just two years ago
Lampard's shot lamped the crossbar, and then fuck!
It bounced out to the keeper, so darn quick
The ref didn't know it crossed the line. And
Yet, a few days ago, in the Euro
Match with Portugal, the latter's shot cracked
The German bar and didn't go in. Would
It be too much to hope for German woe?