3264 - Hippy barthday

Always satisfying to hire a car
And get it back safely without a prang
Especially to Chorlton, that's a place where
I always lose my bearings, and feel anx-
iety, but I did it. Special thanks
To my mother, her birthday today, God
Knows how old she is, but no tanks
Could stop her in her tracks. We had
A nice meal at Ellie's. I should have had
Cod and chips, the chorizo was a far
Cry from filling, the lemon tart seeming
Far from big enough to fill my real bad
Appetite. Big up to Jo and Vee for
Being good company, we even sang!

Sat 25 July

3204 - Shat out of hell

A varied day, took it off work to go
To a driving awareness course up in
Bury, a four hour workshop that had no
Possibility of being late - a fine
Is what you get - and points - for arriving
Late, or for a no-show, or no ID
This harsh enforcement had me worrying
So much, albeit just subconsciously
That I woke from a nightmare, eight thirty
In which I couldn't pack in time, too slow
And couldn't find passport, before heading
To the airport for a flight home. Legacy
Of recent flights to / from Europe also...
Then - ska-tological comedian

3203 - Driving Miss Crazy

I've enjoyed my Bank Holiday Monday
Stayed home and did all sorts of things, relaxed
Tomorrow is another off-work day
My driving awareness course that I asked
To attend to avoid points. Harms your track
Record to have speeding points on licence
So I'll have a haircut, head for the trams
To Bury, all the while I will rehearse
My comedy sets for Tuesday and Wednes-
day (King's Arms and Tiger Lounge), though must say
I need to rehearse right now, practice fast
Or I won't see through my sunglasses lens
When I wear shades and hat to look OK
Trying to hide my thin and greying locks

3170 - Til I fly

I could go to Tiger Lounge comedy
Night, but probably won't, though it is nice
Out there. I need to eat, and energy
Is rather low. Went to the Post Office
After work to collect my Czech moneys
Not long to go now til I fly to Prague
The Czech Republic - one of the countries
I'll tick off as part of my travelogue
And Austria (Vienna and Salzburg)
Sorting out my credit card's next for me
Using it abroad to buy, there's no fees
I also need to ring the police to book
A speed awareness driving course, quickly
Before I go, or they will penalise

3147 - Car trouble pt 9

The weather's wet as hell, hell yes it is
And there's more rain tomorrow, so they warn
So I'll stay in tonight, no wet or freeze
For me, and no booze either. Got to pawn
Everything this month anyway - I'm goin'
On holiday at the end of April
But also been caught motorway speedin'
Last month, driving north hurriedly with Pearl's
Stuff in the hired car. Not that evil
Only did 58, officer, please
But no, a fine awaits, points must be borne
But wait - I may qualify for a li'l
Training course. Hope I go on one of these
Fingers crossed that I don't end up forlorn

3132 - St Patrick's hat-trick

Woke up at nine, still tired but thought I could
Watch The Championship, but it wasn't on
Why not? I could've slept longer in bed!
Still, though I stayed in, managed to have fun
Need to recuperate after not one
But two rather late nights with some drinking
Actually, lots of drinking. It was fun
Friday out with Helen, and enjoying
The St Patrick's Day vibe, and then driving
To Greasby to see Mum and have a good
Meal and laugh there at Ellie's Restaurant
Followed by a night out, drinks and chatting
Today mainly I dismantled the bed
In the spare room. Goodbye bunk bed (wooden)!

3117 - Park Lane Drive

I've missed Match of the Day, it's finishing
I'll check today's results when I've typed this
Today I hired a car and went zooming
Down to London with Lou, took stuff to digs
Back in Hainault once more in south Essex
(In London really). Then the A12 took
Me most of the way to Pearl's but I missed
The Lewisham turn-off, somehow I hooked
Myself around in a circle, quite smug
When I managed to get there, no helping
Satnav, map or passenger to assist
Sadly she needed a small van to pack
All her stuff into, car's too small. Driving
Her things north alone, hoping to get pissed!

3082 - Derby winner

A great day out to Derby with Louis
The point of it, to see the FA Cup
Match against Chesterfield. Pleased to say we
(The Rams) won, two-nil, so no need to stop
By the city of the bent spire to prop
Up our hopes of progression - we are through
To the next round. But Louis was shook up
A little by Man City's defeat to
Middlesbrough (played at the Etihad too!)
Hired a car, drove through Macc and Leek, early
Arrival in Derby at one, could pop
Into the Rams' shop, buy a top or two
See the Clough-Taylor statue, pic with me
In the foreground. No, this day was no flop

3081 - Derby-erby-erby

I feel quite pumped up, work busy today
Just drinking coffee, guess I'll eat later
Might watch the FA Cup, but first I'll play
Guitar, then I'll tune in to Manchester
United v Cambridge (no-hopers!)
No contest, the Reds will win easily
In which case I'll switch and watch Big Brother
Later on still, sitcom, 'Catastrophe'
Looks worth a try, hope it will prove funny
Meanwhile, tomorrow, that is the big day
When me and Louis drive to Derby for
An FA Cup match (Rams / Chesterfield). We
Will drive there, like the old days. The UK
Was criss-crossed going to games.

3054 - Dozy Boxing Day

This is a day late, I confess. Spent at
My mother's house in Greasby. Robin was
Here til 3pm, then he drove in that
Downpour which turned into a blizzard fast
Back to Lichfield for a pub gig. I spaced
Out a bit in the afternoon, think it
Was tiredness, but football updates helped pass
The time. Birmingham thumped 4-0, a great
Result for The Rams, anchored in third spot
Almost finished that novel - what was it?
Oh never mind, didn't give me a buzz
It's Viv Albertine's autobiog fate
Has decreed I read next, and now I've got
Two more good books as presents for Christmas!

Fri 26 Dec

3053 - Yes, it really is Christmaaaaas!

It's Christmaaaaas! Noddy's driving Santa's sleigh
I was awake til half-past one last night
Messaging on Facebook, joking away
Preventing my own sleep by the phone light
Miraculously, slept til light was bright
The light of dawn, that is, the phone recharged
Was used pretty soon for pictures that might
Raise smiles online. Then into Robin's large
Hired car, up the road, to a hill with gorge-
ous views of the Mersey and of the Dee
Estuaries, up that hill the wind had bite
Since then we've eaten and talked, not yet played
Scrabble, but there's still time. Juice in the fridge
Sweets, biscuits, chocolates. One more? I just might

Thur 25 Dec

3006 - Spongiform

A lovely day the weather couldn't spoil
Hired a car, drove to Wilmslow, picked up Jo
It's better value, cars, when the rains fall
We drove to Grandma's, where she cooked spag-bo
Then chocolate sponge pud, and other things too
Lots of banter between the three of us
Grandma is getting better, I tell you
Not just her leg, but joining in, no fuss
About not interrupting - that's a plus
Took the car back, then caught the train to Sale
Met up with pals, I drank juice, that was so
Disciplined of me. Crisps and Maltesers
Were a later alternative to ale
Comedy night, then home, the football show

2999 - Don't you rain on my new black shoes

Back home from seeing Jo, we caught a film
Needed to think of something exciting
And different to do, apart from the realm
Of the shopping mall, football ground, new things
Must be found to do, keep it fresh. Looking
Forward to next week's visit to Grandma
And Jo's excited about car travelling
In one of those white City Car Club cars
Bought new slip-on shoes, boot-shaped. Half a year
I've had no shoes that didn't leak. What balm
For my feet and what new stylish-looking
Image, wearing walking boots no longer
I'll try not to wear them when it rains. Calm
Weather is new shoe leather protecting

2992 - Titchy car car

First car hire day for months, it's fun to drive
And the new parking bay's so near my flat
Walk over the canal by bridge, arrive
On St George's Island, and that is that
It's five minutes' walk, no need to break sweat
Toyota Yaris five-door, but was hard
Squeezing in Josie's bike that had a flat
Tyre and broke brake, but drove it to Halfords
For repair, then repaired quickly towards
The Toby Carvery for lunch. Sigh of
Relief - could go to Didsbury, and what
Charity shop bargains all can afford
But none today. Then Bramhall, Marple, I've
Got her bike back, then one more Starbucks chat!

2882 - It's all good

What a weekend! A late night on Friday
Then up quite early considering, for
A pre-arranged meet-up with Vee, Sat'day
For a guided Manchester music tour
The Smiths, the Stone Roses, et cetera
Landmarks, like where The Smiths used to rehearse
Or where their first gig was (The Ritz). Ate our
Lunch at the Albert Square Slug and Lettuce
Opposite the Town Hall, then a Guinness
In Mother Mac's pub, then ten mins' shut-eye
At Vee's flat, then Louis came, saw game, tore
On foot to Nic's, fun at her flat. Now this
Day (Sunday), hired car, drove Jo, read poetry
Then late lunch with my mum in Greasby. Cor!!!

2873 - Moving fast

Yesterday was fraught with looming deadlines
As I helped Nancy move back to Bury
First, the van wasn't brought back there on time
So was forty minutes late already
Right at the start. Sofa from Chorlton - she
Wasn't happy I was late. Drove to town
Picked up Nance, then drove to Glossop for the
Odds and ends from where she'd been renting round
By the hills. Motorway to Bury, found
Some junk for the tip in the garden, tryin'
To drive it to the tip, it couldn't be
Done, the clock said, but we did it somehow
Then got two mattresses, hi-fi, entwined
In them we got them upstairs, painfully!

2872 - Recover, recycle, relocate

Thank God a decent lie-in (no drink had
Either - gonna try to cut down on that
And on what goes with it). Been a bad lad
Have enjoyed two nights in, it's played its part
In feeling good and saving, too. Must start
Saving for my two (no, three) holidays
(Hungary, London and Greece). Chance to sort
My balcony (off work you see), old chairs
Tennis rackets, bikes, now removed, oh yes
Was gonna take 'em to the tip inside
A hired van later on, but left them at
The recycling area by these flats. Guess
That'll save time when moving Nance from bad
Rented room in Glossop to Bury flat

2526 - On the edge

Hired the Toyota, this time Cambridge Street
Like Sound of Music, a fine place to start
Drove to Josie's house, now not so petite
The wind whipped and the clouds refused to part
February's cold, but the light lengthens, the heart
Quickens as spring's distant finger beckons
Headed for Macclesfield, Josie said wait
I said, what about Jodrell Bank, the suns
And planets observed by the dish that swings
In different directions. Sat down to eat
Then as before checked out the place. Depart
We did for Wilmslow, Costa Coffee, and
Lastly to Alderley Edge (Oxfam's neat)
Got some classic books in my shopping cart

2487 - Sherry Christmas!

It's Christmas Eve, I'm alone in the flat
Only cos Louis' last-minute shopping!
He hasn't bought a single present yet
So he's gone down town before shop-closing
Me, I finished mine long ago. Lying -
'Twas Saturday December 21st
At six I'm hiring a car and driving
To town, pop in on V, P and L first
Then I'll drive on to Mum's, and then we'll rest
In our chairs with a sherry. Don't like that
Normally, but she asked if I could bring
Some to quench her non-alcoholic thirst
With horrible sherry! Have a good night
And a great day tomorrow, jing-a-ling!

2473 - The cost of Christmassing

It's been a cheap December - well, so far
Just as well, cos from next week, it takes off
Comedy pub night, with a few beers
Then work Christmas ball at the Midland - toff
Location, but we've got funds to set off
The cost! But I forgot! Also driving
A hired car to Mum's, Saturday, enough
Expense there! Also, Yuletide gift-buying
Yet to happen, and there's more car-hiring
To come, at Christmas itself, and meals for
The kids! Yes, financially, it's quite tough
But so far so good for penny-pinching
When you're like me you have to save lucre
With now and then a quick binge, smoke and quaff