3205 - No quarter for Qatar (or Blatter)

A shocking start to the day in Zurich
Dawn raids on senior FIFA potentates
At a prestigious hotel by the lake
With possible fallout affecting states
Who may have won the World Cup-hosting race
Let's hope the US legal team, allied
With the Swiss, on whose soil these things took place
Will not at all be influenced or afraid
How long since level playing fields have been played
The impact on football could be epic
This corrupt balloon of gold must deflate
Blatter must be scythed with a sharp grass blade
The seized computers may reveal a slick
Of oil on the pitch that should seal some fates

2508 - Scandal roundup

I turned on the news, and what did I see?
Four trials of famous people, two three four
Sexual offences composed the first three
Ken Barlow was first through the courtroom door
Next it was DLT accused of more
And then, briefly, Rolf Harris - gooday, mate
Rebekah Brooks, newspaper editor
Brought up the rear. Did the Brookses pervert
The course of justice, as alleged? Let's wait
And see. At the Palais de l'Elysee
Francois Hollande, le President, is floored
By sexual scandal. Wife recuperates
En hopital, a Paris. Merde! Paris!
Nous arriverons la en printemps, alors

2212 - England calling

News roundup - Andrew Mitchell, the Tory
Minister, and Chief Whip, called the police
'Fucking plebs' when one of them said that he
Couldn't ride his bike through the main gate. These
Insults came the same week as two police-
Women had been killed, causing great sadness
Doesn't this just prove that ruling Tories
Are privileged and arrogant? What else?
A maths schoolteacher's eloped to France, he's
On the run with a young school pupil. He
Faces jail. On the net, he sings a nice
Little song about their romance. Distress
In the North East, floods devastating the
Poor folk up there. Nature's not always nice

2205 - Crime and lack of punishment

Terrible news from Manchester today
Two policewomen killed by a fugitive
Who then hands himself in without delay
Having achieved notoriety with
Little or no risk to himself, he gives
Himself up to the police, expects justice
And mercy, and a cushy life, captive
Instead of a nice secluded cell, this
Man should have to face the public with his
Crimes on a big noticeboard. What they say
He should hear, each day, as they come and leave
Society's disgust fully expressed
And his shame magnified. Harsh, yes, but they
Would teach him that some things we can't forgive

2197 - Tune in, turn on, pick nose

What a long day, and a busy evening
On the computer, ripping tracks from my
CDs - mainly prog rock - and then putting
Them on my new mp3 player. I
Can now hear lots of compo tracks any
Time I want. Some chat too as I did this
On the mobile and on Facebook. TV
Showed some interesting documentaries
On old folk getting drunk, getting well pissed
Then two progs about food, then I'm seeing
Police on the streets of Blackpool challenged by
Drug-taking bingers mad of eye and fist
Political satire, then examining
The bedroom and its secret history

1544 - So cool in Liverpool

I've just had a night out in Liverpool
The venue was a place on Mathew Street
Tonight's temperature was extremely cool
But music filled the home of Merseybeat
I even saw some coppers on the beat
Question a thief who tried to sell to me
Some stolen perfume. Paco Rabanne. Heat
Was put on him; he had to drunkenly
Search for a non-existent receipt. See,
Cliches can come true. I could only drool
At the guitar skills at this gig tonight
Jo Bywater and Jon Gomm; mastery!
Not so keen on the piano-playing girl
Though. Her syrupy songs just did not fit

1325 - Foreman of the jury

The second trial by jury is near
Its end, and again I’m voted foreman
The likely verdict was becoming clear
But time ran out, and we must meet again
Tomorrow, twenty minutes after ten
Enough time to watch some TV, shower
And shave, put on a shirt, look nice and clean
Exude respectability, power
As I deliver the group verdict there
On the end seat of the front bench, so near
The judge and court clerk. We will be summoned
To take our seats; I’ll stand and deliver
Our judgement, and then we will be freer
(Unlike some) for normality’s return

1324 - Jury fury

The second week in court as a juror
The second case I’ve been a juror for
That first case, well I never was surer
The other jurors weren’t sure, however
Not enough evidence? Yeah, whatever!
You can’t always have films, tape recording
A hundred per cent proof. If you did, there
Would be no need for court or for juror
An opinion is what a juror’s for
That’s why we sit in a room, discussing
Disagreeing about the disgusting
Disentangling the disordered sordid
Details that are not solid. We’re called for
To follow our thoughts on what’s gone before

1318 - Court order

The order of procedure goes like this:
The jurors wait to be called to a case
Some sit around for days of uselessness
If a case goes ahead they take their place
The judge speaks; then the prosecutor says
What the defendant has done; tries to prove
It with witnesses, evidence, a haze
Of suggestions; the defence tries to move
Us to pity, for it is hard to love
The defendant at first; more witnesses,
Evidence and haze. After a few days
And all have spoken, the judge tries to smooth
The rough path of suggestion and premise
To bare facts; we then decide, without haste

1317 - Not much wiggle room

A second day in court, more familiar
Now with proceedings, wigs, gowns and all that
Thank goodness I’ve not got one on my hair
Those wigs look itchy and also somewhat
Dirty. Began at ten, a later start
Part of the jury, any seat will do
The kindly judge clarifies, plays his part
After we shuffle in with coats, bags too
And watch the rest of a long video
Part of the evidence, so we must bear
With it, and above all else, concentrate
We mustn’t miss a thing, a vital clue
Mustn’t send to the clink unless we’re sure
About the case, of course, I cannot chat

1316 - Court unawares

I remembered, thank goodness, that today
Was my jury service day number one
Set the alarm, made sure I was ready
And passing the office, I walked right on
Til I reached the Crown Court, the morning sun
Trying to break through thin white cloud; it did
As I sat reading ‘The Maltese Falcon’
Waiting slightly hopelessly as they said
‘It won’t be long,’ but was. Dinner hour sped
As I walked in the sun, losing my way
Trying to find the CD shop. Bought some
And made it back on time. And soon I heard
My name called, and yes, the group filed away
Down the corridor. The case has begun

1303 - Rain over Belfast

Another trip to Ireland (for the day)
Fly-Be to the moon, I mean, to Belfast!
Couldn’t see the hills - rain was in the way
Snow had fallen overnight; overcast
Was the sky: the port cranes were lost in mist
Like thin yellow King Kongs. Got to the ten
O’clock meeting on time; taxi was fast
Sad news that Northern Ireland’s still a den
Of thieves, smugglers and drug-pushers, but then
There’s still folk working hard to make them pay
The sons of gangsters ply their trade; the cost
Is millions lost to fund education
Healthcare, transport, business. We try to lay
The foundations of peace upon the dust

1124 - Safe European homes?

Hats off to world-famous British justice,
The envy of all benighted nations!
Examples of its recent victories -
Six years for the man who’d abused for months
And then killed his girlfriend’s two-year old son…
He should be out in three. The mother’s free
(She’s suffered enough.) Next, the old woman
Of seventy, done for assault on the
Teenager, part of a gang said to be
Throwing stones at her window. She got pissed
Off, jabbing him in the chest. Well, this sends
A good message out, eh? Society
Must not protect itself! Call the police
(…But don’t bother if the offender’s young)