Alarm at five fifteen, I had to rise
In late night darkness and head for the train
Battle against time, against weariness
Transported up to wild Scotland again
Saw horrid tribes clad in kilts, quite insane
They brandished their cabers, whisky and gin
In rushing rivulets gushing doon glens
I saw Little Yins and saw a Big Yin
Deep fried Mars Bars were gi'en me for din
I'm back in Sassenach Land noo, but pies
An fries and a' that made me fat, ma brain
Reelin' in the beers...Yo, Mr Salmond...!
Er, oh dear, sorry, I apologise
Glasgow was quite normal, with spots of rain
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