3219 - Through the media darkly

Very tired, often am in midsummer
When those light mornings get inside my mind
Spent what seemed like hours listening to the
Night-time radio, hearing horror of blind
Hate and sexism in Middle East land
I think that made it hard for me to drop
Off for a while, so hard to understand
But how much do we really know from top
To bottom, is it all bad or to stop
Believing what you hear and see, media
Bias towards the west we understand
Can prevent the whole truth being served up
Life is chaos, it's very rarely fair
All we can do is work hard til the end

3049 - You are my sunshine

This is the shortest day of the whole year
A day I like even though it's horrid
And dark, because you know the time's now near
When it'll get lighter again, take heed
Of this change for the better. In your bed
You'll see a slow earlier lightening
Maybe that's not in itself all that good
If that causes earlier awakening
I don't like darkness except for sleeping
Common sense says that's a time to be clear
Of danger and cold, home comforts enjoyed
Maybe it can be warmed with a short fling
Though that's hard for me to do without tears
So useless with people, easily led

2493 - Welcome to life

This is today, as far as now exists
Squeezed in between before and next, so slight
A window of time, a will o' the wisp
A shadow in the middle of the night
Life's a sudden explosion of bright light
Like a supernova in the heavens
Energy in the void, wonderful sight
But surrounded by unseeing atoms
Made up of the same, we evolved persons
No control over anything, subsist
In a random machine, in aimless flight
Channelled by no-one, dependent orphan
Inventing philosophies with a twist
To diminish our existential fright

2483 - Chav disco

A nice day at the office, relaxing
(I did some work as well!) after the ball
Still some drink coursing through my veins, making
Me good-humoured. Emma not there as well
That helped too. Thinking back to the table
Last night, she seemed bored and boring, even
Though it was her choice, going to the ball
Ball my arse, it was a chav disco, and
The MC was basically Keith Lemon
One of his crap stunts was making us sing
'The 12 Days of Christmas'. I sang fuck all
Keith Lemon could go fuck himself, sad man
And now I'll have a relaxing evening
Tomorrow, Christmas shopping with them all...

2475 - Amy, you're driving me crazy

I keep waking up halfway through the night
Why, when it's the darkest time of the year?
I sometimes do this in midsummer's light
When dawn comes early, but why, how now, sir?
I wake from a dream, my mind starts to stir
Last night I kept singing Amy Winehouse
In my head, of course, nothing you could hear
Apart from radio, all quiet as a mouse
TV reception's bad these days, I lose
The chance to watch most channels now, so might
Move to BT Sport, it should be cheaper
Than Sky broadband (with football as bonus)
Let's hope there's an end to my sleepless plight
I hate being tired, it's not clever or fair!

2465 - Mashed potato mountain

Awake part of the night, next door banging
Around about 4.15, are they off
To the airport early, are they flying?
Well, no, cos I just heard one of them laugh
And it's evening now. Must be feeling rough
By now. Although I was tired, once I rose
I felt energetic all day, enough
To see me through til five, and then I strode
Home, exercised, then ate mashed potatoes
I tend to make too much, stomach's aching
Feel like I'm going to explode in a puff!
Don't take that the wrong way! You could, I suppose!
Before my steam runs out, I'm finishing
With guitar practice, from Salford with love!

2416 - Whatever happened to ... me?

The end of last night's a bit of a blur
But overall the night was quite good fun
Firstly, rehearsals - discussed our flyer
Design, which I need to look into soon
As I've written this sonnet. We buffoons
Then clowned around with a ventriloquist's
Dummy (a monkey), a sketch that begins
The second half of our show. A visit
To Montpellier's Bar followed. Got quite pissed
There and in two pubs afterwards, but the
Best thing was, there's a new weekly open
Mic comedy night, with a cool young twist
Somewhere to practice new stuff, regular
And, tautologically speaking, often!

In case you're wondering, the title is about me forgetting what happened towards the end of the night because I was drunk.

2402 - A lorra lorra Lowry

So little sleep last night, I read a book
From start to finish, about the artist
LS Lowry, who himself worked late up
In the attic in Pendlebury, just
A mile or two up the road from these flats
Where I live in Salford. Was off today
Thank God, but didn't nap at all, no rest
For the wicked. In fact, just looked to see
If there were writing opportunities
For comedy writers. They try to block
Your optimism, which I fair, I guess
Stand-up's the easiest way to start, maybe
And can be fun, as I've found since I stuck
At it this time, slowly doing my best

2358 - Rainy days and Saturdays

I'm in on Saturday night but been out
In the hired car to take Jo to Grandma
Drank too much but had a fine time last night
Some funny conversations, ha ha blah
Especially when I could hear, earlier
Later on in Odd Bar, the loud music
Made it at times quite difficult to hear
Me and Derm had no time to really think
About the many comedy shows, thick
And fast they're coming as the autumn starts
Hopefully what we've done this year so far
Will stand us in good stead, past shows we pick
From and improve. Today mainly rained but
The car kept us dry. Nice meal with my ma

2484 - Liver Bird Party

I'm writing Monday's sonnet on Tuesday
The reason? Thought I'd come home on the late
Train, but in vain - didn't miss it - I stayed
Out drinking and dancing with two poet mates
Way beyond half eleven - it was light
When we left the club, walked past the shut shops
But found Burger King open for a bite
And two much-needed coffees for a shot
Of recovery after the beer glut
The Liver birds were flying on Monday
Around the dance floor in such tight short skirts
Wonder how the locals would all react
If I'd worn my nurse outfit on Mersey-
side streets - would it be trouble, or just great?

Written about previous evening / night / morning of Monday 24 June / Tuesday 25 June

2430 - Fourteen at four

It's gone four in the morning, but thank God
I took tomorrow off work, so who cares?
Jeremy Kyle awaits - he is my God
I'll catch some of his show, may even miss
It, wonder when I'll wake up, seeing as this
Has become such a late night, following
My comedy debut with Dermot. Please
Don't ask me if we won, we didn't win
3 Minute Theatre audience, they weren't in-
to it enough for that, but we say sod
Them, it was our first time, though we prepared
Quite well. Perhaps in future we should sing
And dance, become more absurd, more absurd
Still, then we'll win, and that is so true, yes

Wed 1 May

2352 - How did I do it?

My eyes ache, got almost no sleep last night
Two cappucinos kept me wide awake
In fact when I got up (before the light)
I cleaned the floor of the flat, thought I'd take
A shower, but first, why not have a quick
Press-up or two? Unbelievably, I
Beat my record by two! That ain't good luck
That's super-strength, that is! After shut-eye
You usually feel much too dozy to try
Exercises, your arms are weak, your weight
Pulls you down, the mind's dull, it's a mistake
But on this occasion I seemed to fly
Up and down, no sleep had not sapped my might
As I thought it might. Showered, early to work

2330 - After the ball-ache

It was party night late last night next door
Sounded like fun but none of them can sing
And the bass was cranked up, the playing poor
But they're good mates, bless 'em, they're doin' their thing
They should know when the X Factor's coming
To town, they should pop down to do clown pop
And hope they go down well when Lou's voting
They started at 3, about 5 they stopped
While they were playing around I did drop
Off and dreamed of loud live music, but for
Only a few minutes. Tried listening
To Radio Four over their noise, strange crop
Of loud and quiet, but which one was the bore?
Too tired for playing axe, exercising

2319 - An eye-popping night

Awake half the night with the radio on
I'd been out that night, drank pints of Guinness
No longer used to beer, a stimulant
Effect was produced by those pints, I guess
Though I went to bed by twelve, this unrest
Meant I ended up tired and late for work
I slept the first two and a half hours, passed
(As quite a few times before) in a walk
Or run through rural scenes, a dream that talked
Of suppressed impressions fourteen years on
From my days of fell running through forest
And hill. Suddenly from this I awoke
To hear the mad story of the woman
Whose boyfriend gouged both her eyes out, no less

2264 - Pillow fight

My pain is slowly easing every day
But at night-time it flares up - when I wake
My right shoulder seems like it wants to say
Get me a physio - why don't you take
This pain away, this endless trapped nerve ache
But on the NHS it's not quick, dear old nerve
And you've got a nerve, want to have your cake
And eat it too, do you, d'you think I love
This war of nerves, too nervous to remove
Myself to a private clinic, won't pay
Can't pay, no way, no matter how high stakes
Tried dispensing with pillow - unlike glove
It doesn't fit my neck - but the pain stays
So please get better faster, for God's sake!

2221 - No worries, mate

I thought I was immune to coffee but
It turns out I'm not. Three coffees while out
Last night, and I'm awake all night. I shut
My eyes to no avail, hearing them spout
Poshly on Radio Four (trying it out)
Drifted off as morning arrived, dawning
As morning tends to do, with sun blocked out
By clouds often these days - not complaining
About that, of course - it helps that dozing
That's much needed after a sleepless night
Too tired to do much after work - I've got
Footie on telly, got my clothes drying
On radiators, slippers on my feet
And fuck all that I need to fret about

2217 - Sleepless in Salford

Europe has won the Ryder Cup - yahoo
Or is that the sound of the fans? It's late
Well after midnight, went to bed, thought Oooh!
I've not written my sonnet - I can't wait
Til tomorrow. The rule is, I must write
The damn thing before sleeping, so I'm up
Out of bed once more, though it's late at night
But I have to keep writing til I stop
Fourteen lines done, then I can get some kip
But if I'd forgotten, that's what I'd rue
At least I've now seen the golf highlights - great
To see Europe beat the States. Go, Europe!
Also had a great guitar session - two
Songs written as well. Goodnight then - goodnight!

Sun 30 September

2213 - Chilling in

An exciting evening not doing much
Still, after last night's guitar, gotta chill
Worked hard at work, got lots done, which is such
A relief when you've got a big workpile
Things are OK now on that front - meanwhile
I'm about to relax with a book called
'God Is Not Great' - it's got great hate and bile
Directed towards him up there, the old
Man with the beard whose story we were told
As kids. There's some TV drama to watch -
A new 'Room At The Top' - a retro thrill
Maybe. Changed the bed, shaved - shower (not cold)
Still to come. Did some ironing. Is a match
On tonight, I wonder? Enjoyed my meal!

2088 - Late night fourteen line-up

It's late for Sonnet 2088
These days I always seem to hesitate
And I leave writing them til round midnight
Because I'm busy, too much on my plate
And nowadays my diary has to wait
Cos often there will be more to relate
If I leave it til later, I can state
What happened not just in the day, but night
I might have stayed in or might have gone out
Instead of whisperings, I can now shout
I'm not so bitter now, I'm much more stout
And I can speak with more heft and more clout
Midnight approaches, the clock's hands now skate
Around the dial, and so I'll say goodnight

2079 - Evening's end

I'm tired and hungry now, after the call
And before the call, I did Arabic
Homework for an hour. Listened to The Fall
And chatted to Katy for quite a bit
What else is there? No, that's just about it
A fun day at work, but felt tired later
At seven o'clock, the candle was lit
The one we chose on Saturday in the
Arndale Centre. It should be smellier
But the room looks nice when it lights the wall
Softly, yellow light and shadows that flit
With every enticing flaming flicker
Time for a late supper, then time to call
It a day, a new day...Don't come too quick