3294 - Never stop

Despite still being short of sleep when I woke
At lunchtime left the office, headed out
To the other side of town, a long walk
Had a hilarious tiime having haircut
They know I'm a comedian, dominate
The attention of all three staff these days
Then after work, shopping for things to eat
And once home I did my exercises
Just about managed press-ups, what a feat
Javi was out, so I stayed on my feet
In the living room, played guitar, and broke
The record, I think, for skill, trying not
To look at the strings, with fingers of smoke
I played Sparks melodies. Poem rewrote

3262 - Shock defeat for the Grim Reaper

After work I went film-watching again
Been to three films at Home this month. Tonight
It was a film about Wilko Johnson
Not much about his music, but his fight
Against pancreatic cancer, giant
Tumour eventually being cut right out
In an operation, leaving him quite
Free of cancer, it seems. Saw him about
Three months ago at The Ritz - he was flout-
ing the idea of death, illness or pain
After tonight's film, they discussed the sight
We'd just seen, and Wilko's successful bout
With the Grim Reaper, Julien Temple sayin'
How much fun they had filming it. Good night!

3243 - Quays to the city

A warm day, went out in shorts and t-shirt
On the train to see Jo, had a coffee
At Tania's, her back's broken but not worse
Than it was before her brace (fits nicely)
Avoiding in Ramadan the city
Centre where possible, we caught the bus
Part way to Salford Quays, got off safely
Despite a madman on the bus, then passed
Some time in Costa, and sat on the grass
Then sat by Man U's stadium talkin' bout
Britpop and Madchester, that's what Josie
Likes now, the Gallaghers from Oasis
Blur and the Stone Roses, she knows their 'shit'
While it's all funny memories for me

3236 - Is it safe?

Been to see Josie, and her mum with her
Broken back in a brace, recovering
Or trying to, while perched on the sofa
Didn't go to Manchester, worrying
About terrorist attacks is spreading
Her mum and her were worried of the threat
Especially in Ramadan, with frightening
Reports on the news of some beheaded
Victim, or a mosque bombed, or beach of death
So went to Heaton Chapel, big dinner
(Lunch) and cheesecake, my stomach was hurting
Couldn't finish my Coke. Then to Stockport
Wandered round the shops and sat in Costa
Pleased that tonight, from drink I'm abstaining

3231 - Not enough hours in the evening

Phew - been busy this eve since I got home!
And it's not the end yet, still time to go
Not painted tonight, but exercise done
My muscles are improving, can now do
Eighty press-ups. The first time I tried to
Do them, could only do three! Muscles need
Regular usage, and my walks and few
Exercises play their part, yes indeed
Transferred a debt balance from card to card
Also phoned O2 on my mobile phone
Got new SIM-card-only contract, woo-hoo
Ten quid a month's enough. Cooked and ate food
Great guitar session, comedy part-learned
Will learn more, but must ring Tania and Jo

3230 - It'll be all-white on the night

I'm happy with my Father's Day alone
Been out plenty, Friday and Saturday
Had cards and prezzies, pictures on my phone
But felt a bit worn-out, late yesterday
So I decided I'd stay in today
Need to refresh, and also to rehearse
My comedy, which as usual, was way
Rushed, had a quick read of it while the noise
From the washing machine span round my ears
Yet more white paint on bedroom wall, it's done
Now more or less, the paint tin's near-empty
And at last the walls look white like they're s'posed
To, not so streaky and brownish. Backbone
Broken, poor Tania's in a ward today

3229 - They don't know what to do with their lives

I must admit I don't feel quite tip top
I should hopefully sleep quite well tonight
May have overdone it slightly, yep
Too much work and walking yesterday, quite
Knackered and slightly ill now. But despite
That, a drink or two, time to celebrate
Relaxing for a few hours now, a flight
Of fingers on my guitar, then acquaint
Myself with Big Brother, I was too late
Last night to see which housemate got the chop
Channel 5 doing its usual job to slight
The British working classes without jobs
Where are the jobs nowadays we create
For the less gifted, less rich? None in sight

3221 - 'Good' and 'fun' don't mix

Is it the right thing to do, to cut down
On cigs and booze, although it's healthier
Does it mean I'm boring and old and brown
Tired, burned out, over the hill, washed up, square?
Boozing is partying, fun, debonair
Being good is like my parents, boring
What's the point of that, boredom's heard to bear
Aren't I allowed a Friday night's drinking?
Psychologically weak at resisting
Like English footballers in big games, found
Lily-livered, bashful and full of fear
As has happened before, just the thinking
About this on a Friday night is grounds
For rushing out to buy booze, just, once, more...?

3159 - Slowhead

I've felt lethargic all today, maybe
Because I drank a bit last night, but still
It was only four bottles. Watched TV
Some music progs, got my nostalgia fill
Not done much today, found some material
That I'd already written, a joke song
I can use on Tuesday night. Tried as well
As I could in my state to sing along
In my head and learn the lyrics. Morning
Will come tomorrow and on the settee
I'll spend another hour in rehearsal
For Tuesday and the Monday following
I've two songs to learn for that too. But the
Big thing tomorrow's naturally football...

3143 - Ouch!

I've got a headache - it's dehydration
From last night's drinking, and a day staring
At a computer screen at work. So when
I've done this I'll waste no time in downing
Some paracetamol and ingesting
More drinks, but not coffee or booze of course
So pardon me if you think I'm rushing
This great important work of rhyming verse
But my head hurts and it's gaining in force
Oh damn, just realised something, oh damn
Won't have time to watch 'The Bridge' this evening
On Netflix, cos the debate's taking place
On Channel 4, to be precise, at nine
Cameron and Miliband being annoying...

3141 - Miles of smiles

Nice relaxing night in, listening to Miles
While chatting on Facebook and writing this
Must give Josie a call, she should be smiles
At getting United mascot duties
She was off school ill, so it is
Up to me to see if she's getting well
Or if she's still ill, a sickly business
So when I've done this, I'll give her a bell
She might be in the bath. More likely she'll
Be on Instagram, perusing the piles
Of pix on there, antics by some Misses
And Masters by the score. Miles' final
Track's on now, 'Sanctuary' ... it's a while
But now 'Bitches Brew' has finished, oh yes

3140 - Glory glory

Poor Josie's ill at home off school today
But good news cheered her up before too long
I got a call from Man United. They
Said she'd been selected to walk along
The Old Trafford tunnel, shyly clinging
To a United player's hand in hers
Then walking onto the pitch as roaring
Reaches a crescendo, Reds and City's
Rival fans outshouting each in chorus
It's the kind of experience kids pray
For, especially at that age. Dreams aren't wrong
She dreamed recently of meeting players
Now it's on the horizon, on Sunday
The 12th of April. Sing your football song!

3112 - Cold day

A rare sick day, because of this darn cold
Have enjoyed doing little, relaxing
Watching daytime TV, trying to hold
That enormous hardback book and reading
About Jamaica, shooting and killing
In the 70s, and periodically
Snuggling down on the sofa and dozing
Third dose of Kyle today on the TV
May play guitar if I've the energy
Tuesday night's pub quiz had to be cancelled
Shame as it's a good group with beer quaffing
But recuperation is necessary
By Wednesday, when I'm out with Helen. Should
Be a nice one, poetry and drinking

3092 - Uncaged comedy

A terrible news story with ISIS
Also known as Islamic State, burning
A Jordanian pilot in a cage. It's
Hard to believe these days it's happening
Although it's not easy simply turning
One's mind away from that and going to
A comedy night, that's what I'm planning
It should be good though - Dave is 52
Well maybe not that old, but looks it though
Tonight I'll once more be taking the piss
Out of ebola, and news predicting
Its global spread, threatening me and you
Its naughty but that's comedy, I guess
You have to do some envelope pushing

3085 - Big bleater

I've felt quite strong all day, but energy
Is running out now as eleven's here
Did exercises, guitar wizardry
Can't beat playing along, not only hear
Then watched a footy match with Lou, my fear
Realised that it would make me miss part of
The eviction, Celebrity Big Brother
Thank goodness, Patsy's gone, so sorry love
But you're boring, though not as bad as Kav
Let's hope he goes next! A win for Derby
At home to Blackburn puts us back up there
Though our team's got more holes than a big sieve
Count Arthur Strong? Is this meant as funny?
Give me Great Expectations - the end's near...

3078 - Corny flakes

A fun day, a fun evening's comedy
For the first time in a while, I wielded
My guitar, lugging it so heavily
Through Salford to the King's Arms, fingers dead
Through cold. No, honestly, wasn't that bad
It snowed a little, but the flakes were thin
I was on last this time, Dave acknowledged
My recent birthday, I went on last in
A sparsely attended snug, sniggerin'
Sporadically and periodically
To be amusing the five acts did bid
They mainly found it hard to raise a grin
I did two ebola songs (seriously)
In the name of laughs, to offend, prepared

Tue 20 January

3075 - Rivers of ebola

As I was walking to Josephine's house
Listening as usual to some great old songs
A song played in my phones 'bout breaking laws
Followed by the rivers of Babylon
It occurred to me Tuesday night's good fun
If I sing new versions of these tunes with
The accent on ebola. New versions
With funny lyrics harping on the myth
That that disease threatens us all, a kiss
Of death away. Though Jo thought me a louse
When I told her of the idea (it pongs
According to her) this is incentive
To finally bring my guitar out and horse
Around, just for fun, no pressure. What's wrong?

3056 - Chiller thriller killer

A cold day, mostly wasted feeling ill
Thanks to last night's whisky Christmas present
Couldn't do anything, felt sick and killed
Time sitting on the sofa, ears attuned
To the football on the radio, and ground
My way through the afternoon, finally
Feeling able to eat at tea-time, sound
Constitution, didn't puke, the whisky
And Stella combination inside me
Inducing nausea. Despite the intense chill
I visited Nancy as I was meant
We had a good chat up there in Bury
(Nice chocs, by the way, those things tasted brill)
Now home again, sadly, the weekend's spent

Sun 28 Dec

3043 - Buzz saw doctors

Left-handed buzz, post-guitar sessioning
Playing these days itself is a real buzz
But I don't play each day would be pushing
It in terms of hand health, mite dangerous
Got to be careful, don't want arthritis
But I play so fast these days, work the joints
In my left wrist and my left-hand fingers
Zooming all over the fretboard. Yet once
Back when I lived in Stockport, strained my brains
Trying to memorise positioning
By note names on the guitar fret - pointless
The way my mind works, it falls down and grunts
When memorising words or info in
Quick time. No, music has to be thoughtless

3025 - Health and savings

A fun talk after work in the Library
Called Manchester Drunk n Sober, no less
Unusual distraction, completely free
Could've gone for a drink but just not arsed
Without beer those things seem easy to pass
And so straight home, exercised, ate some grub
Watching some football, as usual it's Spurs
On a Thursday, minor game in Europe
Sitting here, for company a teacup
Or maybe a mug, but it contains tea
The night's not quite over, but I've impressed
Myself behaving myself, keeping up
The health and savings regime, with Louis
Gone to London to stay for a few days