3272 - In cold flat

Woke up real late, about ten, but since then
I've done quite a lot, and brain's sleepy now
Finished 'In Cold Blood' started end of June
My progress through it has been rather slow
But it was a good read. Long tome ago
Before I was born, a terrible crime
Was done in Kansas, people said, 'Oh no!
The poor Clutters!' They met their hanging time
After 5 years on Death Row, pantomime
Of appeals exhausted, as despised men
But Capote had interviewed them so
Extensively, this book really does chime
With crime fans and more serious readers when
He probes and seems to take us there somehow

3192 - Back in the UKUK

So here I am back home, but honestly
I couldn't afford to be away more
I was shocked at my bank account money
Though I shouldn't be. First there was the floor
Of my flat last month, done by the builder
And after that I went on my travels
Specifically, a European tour
To Czech Republic, German towns and hills
And Austria, where I heard no yodels
I'm still in Europe in my head. You see
All these great buildings and Germanic lore
In museums and all around. It fills
Your head, immersed in sights and history
But you don't want to travel forever

3187 - This is where I got that hat

Woke quite early and caught bus to Salzburg
At last I'm in Austria properly
Looked at a map, saw things to take a look
At, and noticed a guided tour. Quickly
Walked down to Mozart Square in time for the
Usual pseudo-historical affair
It was quite boring but necessary
However, after wondering what else there
Could possibly be to do, the sun's fair
Rays started shining. My unguided walk
Was most enjoyable, up in the trees
Above town, on the big rock. Market wares
Attracted my attention, and I splurged
Lots on an Austrian hat (for comedy!)

Sat 9 May

3183 - Munching in Munchen (at last)

A hot day, did not need to take my coat
Got the U-bahn to the Olympic zone
Really liked the stadium and how it's set
In a park with great views of tower and town
If you climb the hill built on things knocked down
And turned to rubble by British bombing
In the war, then they let grass grow upon
It all, and hey - some nice hills! Tasting
Currywurst for the first time. Interesting
But too much tomato. Then, welcome seat
On the tube to Allianz Arena, home
To Bayern Munich football team. Going
Back to the centre. New museum's got
Lots of info on Nazi Munich. Boom!

Tue 5 May

3182 - No munching in Munchen

I'll write this now, while I'm here just waiting
For Minji Kim to message, so I know
Where to meet, although I have an inkling
She said Odeonsplatz, but that's lacking
In detail. I've just been there - it's quite big
Which cafe are they in? And they're eating
While I'm starving, but maybe I could go
Without food, just drink beer, from stein I'll swig
And if need be, a takeaway to dig
At the hunger if it comes later. So...
Spoke to a nice Romanian nurse sitting
On the train to Munich. Once here, I go
Straight into a 'Third Reich tour' - fun seeing
Inside the Hofbrauhaus. More beer halls now?

Mon 4 May

3181 - News from Nuremberg

I woke at 12, slept well and recovered

From last night's drinks with Julius. The weather

Is rainy today, so I decided

To look round the National Museum here

I saw most of its many rooms, took four

Hours, beginning with a guided tour that

Focused on certain objects, how monks were

Living there, never speaking. But she said

They found buried females too - funny, that

Maybe it wasn't so terribly bad!

I'm typing this in Five Reasons - that's the

Name of this Nuremberg hostel I'm at

It's getting dark, and I still need some food

Think I'll walk outside, find a cheap supper...

3114 - Bloody hell

I've been out twice today, first time with work
After a planning meeting, then a meal
Followed by drinks combined with lots of talk
A few drinks in me but tried to conceal
Any desire for more, back home to 'heal'
Then out again, met Helen down the road
She drove me into town, the plan was we'll
Watch 'Bad Language' which we did til she goed
But gave me a lift back, which worked out good
Caught the end of Wolf Hall, and saw the hack
Of the sword on Anne Boleyn, it felt real
And strangely topical, barbaric blood-
shed on some powerful man's whim who stalked
The land dealing death, smiles as blood congealed

3111 - Pavilion panorama and paranoia

I've caught my first cold this winter, and so
I'm staying home, not off to see Josie
Glad I'm not out in rainfall and wind blow
Some good pictures from Brighton - you should see
The previous two days' diary, the entries
Containing pix taken when the sun shone
Which makes the whole scene look much more friendly
And stunning as it lights the Pavilion
Yesterday stood in Vic and Bert's bedroom
Funny to think they lay there long ago
Perhaps even producing a pickney
Put off though by unwanted attention
From the local commoners; didn't go
Back there too often, oh spoiled royalty!

3079 - The so-called so-called

I haven't written much so far about
The 'so-called Islamic' threat to our lives
I must admit there's danger all about
From Muslims as from ebola and hives
And suddenly getting a bunch of fives
Or is there? No, probably not. But they sneered
At Churchill as he warned, like nagging wives
They said, 'Let's be nice' and the noise of jeers
Was deafening, until the Panzers steered
Across the border into Poland. Flout
The lessons of history, stay not alive!
Or stay not free! These worries now appear
I think things may eventually work out
But to be destructive, so many strive!

3025 - Health and savings

A fun talk after work in the Library
Called Manchester Drunk n Sober, no less
Unusual distraction, completely free
Could've gone for a drink but just not arsed
Without beer those things seem easy to pass
And so straight home, exercised, ate some grub
Watching some football, as usual it's Spurs
On a Thursday, minor game in Europe
Sitting here, for company a teacup
Or maybe a mug, but it contains tea
The night's not quite over, but I've impressed
Myself behaving myself, keeping up
The health and savings regime, with Louis
Gone to London to stay for a few days

3022 - Virtuous circle

Just exercised, woo-hoo, gives such a sense
Of pride and well-being, doing the right thing
As time goes on I'm seeing me less tense
About opportunities of doing
My will power's increasing as my drinking
Becomes history and I need to fill
Time differently, better, more interesting
Is all that's around, and more time to kill
Which in a virtuous circle means I will
Do more of what's right and ego intends
And less time-wasting. Not too much reading
Must get the level right, or books might spill
Over into 'doing' time, a defence
Against decisive action, achieving

2986 - Funky weekend

Hey folks, the weekend's through but it's still good
Cos I've breezed through with no booze through my face
I'm not surprised at all, I knew I would
No urges whatsoever, not a trace
Today I periodically cleaned the place
Louis' crumbs, they get everywhere, you know
I read P.G. Wodehouse at quite a pace
His short stories, got more books to follow
Also watched 'The Look of Love' 'bout Soho
Life in the 60s and 70s, rude
Perhaps, but lots of female flesh, retrace
Paul Raymond's controversial and boho
Jet set life, then watched footy. Buffet food
With Nancy this evening - none went to waste

2912 - Ironing Man

Fun fun fun, just realised what I could do
This evening. Ironing! Listen to Mahler
Read a biog of Rasputin, then you
Know what? That's it! I'll hit the sack, that's where!
But so what, all that's worth doing, can't share
Excitement every day, so let's just chill
That's what most do anyway. If not, they're
Dying to get the chance. Ain't got the will
To write short stories tonight, I am still
Too tired for that. Best wait til mind's like new
And thoughts are golden, or at least silver
Til then, iron shirts, Mahler's Third, all is well
And by the way, a big hearty fuck you
To all the boring people everywhere!

2904 - Commie busted

Tonight I'm tired, it's been a long long day
But some pretty amazing sights were seen
Good lie-in, Miklos' little lad lay
In later than expected. Breakfast, then
Read one of Miklos' many books on
British humour. Hungarian dictionary
Was also poured over, then lumch, then soon
We did some food shopping. Hot and sunny
Drove into Budapest so I could see
The park of Communist statues. Skies grey
Then rain fell heavy on that sombre scene
Made fun by today's clambering kids, happy
Because not so oppressed as yesterday
Lastly, Margit Island, so long and green

Mon 28 July

2784 - Hair today, hair tomorrow

Second night not enough sleep but feel good
Been eating well, no fags or booze for days
Too tired for exercises, but I should
Be OK tomorrow. Last weekend, gays
Could get married, big change in the UK's
Law, reflecting its more modern culture
Or maybe old-fashioned? Back in the days
Of Ancient Greece and Rome... Fancy a hair
Cut, nearly had one this lunchtime, but for
A job application not submitted
In the end, Steve too slow (again) to appraise
My draft, left it til last. Did not bother
To wait for him. At the death, decided
I didn't want that job, least not today...

2536 - Animal crackers

A blah sort of day at work, when I see
We've got a slot on Friday, suddenly
We have to get an act sorted, quickly
So we meet at 8, down the Oxford, we
Knock around ideas, and come up with the
Idea straight away, using the monkey
And the chicken, yes, it's our history
We always use that in our comedy
So see you Friday at the 3MT
Tomorrow night we'll reconvene and be
Rehearsing. Meanwhile tonight, went to the
Salford Arms, then The Eagle. Nobody
Was at the latter, real fire blazed but she
Put it out, and we went home, one two three

Tue 11 February

2485 - Past and future battles

Been reading Ackroyd's History of England
(First volume), which has within it, Hastings
The Battle of 1066, last stand
Of the Saxon nobles against the King
Of tyranny, William the Bastard! Sing
Woe unto all ye (etc). Read on
Today about tall Richard's crusading
John, and Henry the Third's rather long reign
So many lives lived under that one name
As mine has been under Liz Two. She's spanned
The post-war era til now, and still brings
A few more years yet. Thought up a mad plan
To hold a mock battle on Salford's land
Dressed as William and Harold. Games begin!

2470 - A brief history of today

Been out swimming with Josie, it was fun
I even did two lengths of crawl, as fast
As I could, though the second length was one
Of struggle with lack of breath, my heart raced
Bought Josie ear-rings from where else but Claire's
In Stockport, and for Christmas I will buy
Her some Converse boots, though she has to ask
Her mum about the style! Found that Derby
Beat Blackpool 5-1, so let's all say yay!
Now I'm watching Stephen Hawking, quite some-
thing what he achieved, even while young, cursed
With motor neurone disease. Come what may
He proved the Big Bang. Then, it's old Bedlam
A history of the 'madhouse' discussed.

2467 - Strangeways here we don't come!

So now I won't be going next week to Leeds
They're doing 'Strangeways Here we Come' not 'Pet
Sounds,' so that'll save me some forty quid
In December, that reduces what's paid
Out, so that's helpful. Football on tonight
So might get a drink in, relax, listen
Then watch midweek Match of the Day highlights
Think I'll take an evening off from the strum
Of guitar, save my neighbours' eardrums
Will read 'The Gunpowder Plot'. Now I've reached
The bit where Guy Fawkes and Catesby get caught
In the cellars beneath with all that gun-
powder, it's getting tense. Poor Pearl's been bid
Adieu by her stupid employers. Prats!

2455 - Brain Dallas Surgery

It's 50 years since JFK was shot
A programme's on at 9 with George Clooney
(No doubt, a fan who liked old Jack a lot)
Lee Harvey Oswald was a red loony
So they say, with a Russian wife in the
Old Cold War, for God's sake, with a good aim
Hit JFK once, but not lethally
But who was it that shot him in the brain?
One theory is a Secret Service man
In the car behind ballsed-up big time, popped
A dum-dum bullet accidentally
Into the president's head. In no time
The Secret Service covered up the lot
Beginning with the vital autopsy