3204 - Shat out of hell

A varied day, took it off work to go
To a driving awareness course up in
Bury, a four hour workshop that had no
Possibility of being late - a fine
Is what you get - and points - for arriving
Late, or for a no-show, or no ID
This harsh enforcement had me worrying
So much, albeit just subconsciously
That I woke from a nightmare, eight thirty
In which I couldn't pack in time, too slow
And couldn't find passport, before heading
To the airport for a flight home. Legacy
Of recent flights to / from Europe also...
Then - ska-tological comedian

3203 - Driving Miss Crazy

I've enjoyed my Bank Holiday Monday
Stayed home and did all sorts of things, relaxed
Tomorrow is another off-work day
My driving awareness course that I asked
To attend to avoid points. Harms your track
Record to have speeding points on licence
So I'll have a haircut, head for the trams
To Bury, all the while I will rehearse
My comedy sets for Tuesday and Wednes-
day (King's Arms and Tiger Lounge), though must say
I need to rehearse right now, practice fast
Or I won't see through my sunglasses lens
When I wear shades and hat to look OK
Trying to hide my thin and greying locks

3174 - Phoney baloney

Phone trouble on the eve of holidays
This is bad timing, the camera is broke
Can't connect to Facebook or read emails
If I don't get this sorted, travel's fucked
And holiday snaps will go up in smoke
Not sure what to do, guess I'll have to talk
Tomorrow lunchtime to O2 shop guys
Or maybe the Samsung repair shop, walk
In there for the third time before goodbyes
To the UK? But time is short, it flies
Before I fly spray-on tan orangeways
That's EasyJet to you and me, a look
Out of the window at the clouds always
Cheers me on my way, this time it's to Prague!

3167 - Tomorrow night

A late night sonnet from a tired brain
I've spent hours today learning material
For tomorrow's gig. It's not going to rain
That's good news when you've got to walk a mile
Or two carrying a guitar. The Castle
Pub's the venue on Oldham Street. I've tried
To learn the gags and lyrics - have I failed?
Well I've still got time tomorrow inside
The flat after work, to run through the slide
Of fingers on fretboard, refine playing
Only run through the two songs tonight - still
More practice needed to make it more tight
The Nina Simone song, that is the main
Difficulty, both chords and lyrical!

3163 - Strange days and nights

Too tired to think of anything at all
I thought maybe I'd even need some sleep
On the sofa at tea-time or I'd fail
To get through the evening, but no, I'm deep
Into it now, hanging by fingertips
Til a reasonable bedtime. The reason?
Went to bed at three a.m. after quips
At the King's Arms and Salford Arms again
That's bad enough when work follows the dawn
But I woke at six thirty! Nerves prevailed
Perhaps, worried that I might oversleep
And be real late for work, reputation
Suffering accordingly because of ale
And late night banter with comic people

3104 - Copin' with Copenhagen

Yesterday I watched three films, tired me out
Today I read a hundred pages of
This huge hardback Pearl bought me that's about
Shootings in Jamaica. Editor, bruv -
You asleep on de job, seen? Not 'One Love'
In this book, more like multiple gangsta
Lots of motorway crashes lately. Tough
Times. Not only here, but even over
In old Copenhagen, there's a terror
Attack on a cafe - free speech, don't shout
Quite so loudly, tone it down, but be tough
On terrorists and murderers that scare
The innocent. Jo worries war's afoot
I tell her it's nothing, as time may prove...

3079 - The so-called so-called

I haven't written much so far about
The 'so-called Islamic' threat to our lives
I must admit there's danger all about
From Muslims as from ebola and hives
And suddenly getting a bunch of fives
Or is there? No, probably not. But they sneered
At Churchill as he warned, like nagging wives
They said, 'Let's be nice' and the noise of jeers
Was deafening, until the Panzers steered
Across the border into Poland. Flout
The lessons of history, stay not alive!
Or stay not free! These worries now appear
I think things may eventually work out
But to be destructive, so many strive!

3051 - Ho ho ho hum!

Been at work today, I'm there tomorrow
Quite quiet in the office, people gone
Preparing their family Christmases, so
Busy and stressful they make it sound, on
They moan, although I think they think it's fun
Me, I've got a few decorations this
Time, unlike normal Yules of tradition
When I do very little. The Christmas
Meal's booked for three on Saturday, a nice
Indian place that does veggie food, that's so
Important for Pearl and Louis, they've been
Veggies since birth. Sanskruti's a good choice
It's on Mauldeth Road, Fallowfield. A go
At Christmas comedy tonight. Ho! Hum

Tue 23 Dec 

3042 - The lamb in winter

Sunday Sunday at home today Sunday
Think there should be no punctuation now
I have begun this unorthodox way
Its OK if you are enough highbrow
A bit ee cummings Im an off show
Its cold in winter thats a big surprise
Not I should say like the size of a cow
Although it could be a baby cow size
Never assume words are true could be lies
All these are are pastimes to pass time hey
Best to pass time easily cant somehow
Motivate to activate pressurise
Myself to get big things done just the way
Ive always been can I ever change though

3033 - Zing went the strings of my guitar

Just had a blistering guitar session
In which largely I managed not to look
It's quite easy when you practice, skates on
Ice, riding bikes, swimming just like a duck
Or anything really, fish on a hook
It's all possible with regular graft
But still got some way to go til I pluck
The strings and courage to test my stagecraft
Til then it remains stagefright, and my pact
With myself's to keep practising alone
It's fun anyway, no pressure, a track
Playing in the background, my mind abstract
Free of all words and thoughts, I strum along
Or play lead or bass, rarely I get stuck

3022 - Virtuous circle

Just exercised, woo-hoo, gives such a sense
Of pride and well-being, doing the right thing
As time goes on I'm seeing me less tense
About opportunities of doing
My will power's increasing as my drinking
Becomes history and I need to fill
Time differently, better, more interesting
Is all that's around, and more time to kill
Which in a virtuous circle means I will
Do more of what's right and ego intends
And less time-wasting. Not too much reading
Must get the level right, or books might spill
Over into 'doing' time, a defence
Against decisive action, achieving

3021 - Play my cards right

Been on a free train ride down to Cheshire
And back, collected my card from the pub
That I left there last night when we retired
Cos Jo felt a bit ill and we gave up
On watching Arsenal / United, stopped
Sitting in that hot crowded place, headed
Back to hers, then I headed back, a top
Day but unaware til later, then dread
As I realised I was without my card
But then I felt calm, no need to perspire
They'd keep it safe til tomorrow. I hopped
There on a priceless ride, as I just said
Earlier today I worked out what to tire
Them with this Tuesday - it won't be a flop!

3020 - Ball to face

Saturday is seeing Jo day and we
Went shopping in Stockport, mainly Primark
Where I got brown shoes and two jeans, forty
Quid only, then Jo looked for sports shoes, make
Important of course, and what made its mark
Most was the make of CR7 - that's
Cristiano Ronaldo's football boot, dark
Background with glittery finish, such glitz!
It may form part of her Christmas presents
Along with last week's United onesie
It's exciting, I almost want to bark!
Accident in Decathlon - our ball hits
A woman in the face, glasses fall free
To the floor, she complained, she was hard work!

2979 - Opportunity drops

I had a good day, physically fit
After a good night's sleep, did lots of stuff
Including THREE new poems that I writ
Cos I meant to go out tonight, but fluffed
The opportunity, my powder puff
Work ethic failing me again, using
The England match as my excuse! Enough
Nights later this month though, and my showing
Up is now vital, even the playing
Music night this Wednesday. Now that I've quit
Drinking and smoking (for now), I should have
The clarity of mind, the free thinking
To go out and do more, cos I had writ
The material especially. Rise above!!

2973 - See it through

I suppose it could have been worse, if I
Had argued back, but that doesn't work, so
Who gives a shit, I'll let worry go by
And work on what I can affect, won't go
But also won't get stressed out, so you know
And no apologies for that, suckers
Anyway, more importantly, things grow
On the friendship front, and all the smokers
Will have to share elsewhere, I'm none of theirs
At least for now, which means I'll save, bye-bye
To ashtrays, unnecessary beer flow
It's time for common sense, exercises
Oh that all sounds boring, I know, but try
For a while, be determined, go go go!

2954 - Ioannina to Monodendri

Had breakfast at the Dioni Hotel
In Ioannina, north-west part of Greece
An area they call Zagori. All well
At first, wandered round, saw the lake, a nice
View, blue water and sky, and all at peace
Busy streets in town centre though, no sign
Of austerity. Frappe. Caught the bus
To Monodendri, but changed buses. In
The rush I left my bag on the first one
(With passport in it!) I thought 'Fucking hell!
How will I get that back?' Didn't need police
Spoke to the driver. He rang the first one
And it was agreed that next morning we'll
Meet and he'll return it. Hotel's GORGE-ous!

Wed 17 Sep

2910 - Got to get away

Oops I forgot it again, so sorry
Now I've got to remember yesterday
Oh yeah, that's right, I went to see Josie
It was warm, mainly sunny. Made our way
To Manchester, not sure what game to play
Saw demonstrators and heard speakers crowd
Into Piccadilly Gardens to flay
Verbally Israel's rockets raining loud
And fiery upon Gaza, like some God
From the Old Testament. Jo, uneasy
Asks if we can get far from there, away
From what she felt might turn violent. We should
Not have done, but we went to Mac's, cheaply
Eating and drinking, not to worry, eh?

About Sun 3 August

2908 - Dratislava!

Last day of Central Europe holiday
Up at 4:20 am, oh my God
Caught the X-13 bus at 5:03
Or thereabouts to Bratislava's good
Main station - not! Why? My train was delayed
By - wait for it - 100 minutes! Shit!
Thank God I got up early. If I had
Gambled on a later one I'd have missed
My flight, quite likely. Just about made it
As it was. Got soaked as I made my way
From Deansgate to my flat. It felt quite odd
Being back here, not in a Slavic state
Or a Magyar one. Europe's my mainstay
for mind-expanding trips - it's mental food

Fri 1 August

2879 - Hire and hire

A hot day, a rainy day, walked along
The canalside, which is very narrow
In places, scared that I might fall headlong
Into the canal, hope I don't swallow
The dirty water, full of germs, you know
Got quite a lot done in the office, and
Ate quite a lot too - walnuts, soup, coco-
nut flakes, which are really more-ish. I spent
All of three quid on the way home. Account
Is doing OK now, my credit's strong
Thanks to my Post Office loan that's gone through
I've saved a lot these two weeks, but weekend
Looks expensive, out a lot, I'm going
To hire a car Sunday, see Ma with Jo

2873 - Moving fast

Yesterday was fraught with looming deadlines
As I helped Nancy move back to Bury
First, the van wasn't brought back there on time
So was forty minutes late already
Right at the start. Sofa from Chorlton - she
Wasn't happy I was late. Drove to town
Picked up Nance, then drove to Glossop for the
Odds and ends from where she'd been renting round
By the hills. Motorway to Bury, found
Some junk for the tip in the garden, tryin'
To drive it to the tip, it couldn't be
Done, the clock said, but we did it somehow
Then got two mattresses, hi-fi, entwined
In them we got them upstairs, painfully!