3204 - Shat out of hell

A varied day, took it off work to go
To a driving awareness course up in
Bury, a four hour workshop that had no
Possibility of being late - a fine
Is what you get - and points - for arriving
Late, or for a no-show, or no ID
This harsh enforcement had me worrying
So much, albeit just subconsciously
That I woke from a nightmare, eight thirty
In which I couldn't pack in time, too slow
And couldn't find passport, before heading
To the airport for a flight home. Legacy
Of recent flights to / from Europe also...
Then - ska-tological comedian

3174 - Phoney baloney

Phone trouble on the eve of holidays
This is bad timing, the camera is broke
Can't connect to Facebook or read emails
If I don't get this sorted, travel's fucked
And holiday snaps will go up in smoke
Not sure what to do, guess I'll have to talk
Tomorrow lunchtime to O2 shop guys
Or maybe the Samsung repair shop, walk
In there for the third time before goodbyes
To the UK? But time is short, it flies
Before I fly spray-on tan orangeways
That's EasyJet to you and me, a look
Out of the window at the clouds always
Cheers me on my way, this time it's to Prague!

3170 - Til I fly

I could go to Tiger Lounge comedy
Night, but probably won't, though it is nice
Out there. I need to eat, and energy
Is rather low. Went to the Post Office
After work to collect my Czech moneys
Not long to go now til I fly to Prague
The Czech Republic - one of the countries
I'll tick off as part of my travelogue
And Austria (Vienna and Salzburg)
Sorting out my credit card's next for me
Using it abroad to buy, there's no fees
I also need to ring the police to book
A speed awareness driving course, quickly
Before I go, or they will penalise

3144 - Deep dive

Off out shortly, but what to say just now
In my attempt to get this written quick?
What's in the news? That sad story of how
The German pilot took his plane down with
Passengers, into the French Alps, quite sick
In the head to take so many others'
Lives. Why not just take his own? A cynic
Might say he was vain, tried to make the news
Be remembered for something. No excuse
Can justify that evil action, though.
But sometimes sickness wins over logic
And right and wrong, causes us to abuse
Others who are innocent, make them bow
Their heads, randomly chosen for the stick

3103 - Manic Mancs in Munich

Brought Jo to my flat today to watch stuff
Mainly football stuff as usual these days
She's not been here for ages, she was much
Smaller the last time. YouTube made this noise
As we watched the film about '58's
Munich air disaster, spoilt it a bit
A film that highlighted contrasting fates
Of Edwards and Charlton. I won't visit
Munich Airport when I go there soon, it
Will be by train from Nuremberg. Got off
Lightly, Jo's mum collected her downstairs
In the car park belonging to these flats
So now the evening's my own, but I'm of
The expectation Lou may show his face...

3088 - Future travel

It's Friday night, I'm home, should have been out
But that fell through because of the weather
So now I'm preparing to be without
Wakefulness, because tomorrow is the
12th birthday of Josie, and we both are
Gonna go to Liverpool. Before that
Get a parcel from the post depot where
It lies. That's Claire's present, then I must meet
Josie, then get the train to Scouseland. What
That means is an early-ish night, allowed
No late night, got to rest and recover
Today I booked my flight with easyJet
To Prague in late April, when I will shoot
Around Central Europe. I'll soon be there!

About Fri 30 Jan

2952 - Late night trip to Greece

Hello everyone, we are here in Greece
Afternoon flight, Manchester to Corfu
But time zones mean that we arrive, crisis
Eleven is quite late, for me and you
We did our best to find a decent brew
In Corfu Town. It's not all cheap, no way
But we found somewhere, drank beers, wine, what have you
And drank til beyond 3, accepting they
Wouldn't serve beer that time, not OK
And so tomorrow, ferry, mainland, is
Our goal, to Ioannina, get straight through
Stay there one night, then somehow make our way
To the Vikos Gorge. Have a peace-
ful night, and I wish the exact same to you

Mon 15 Sep 

2893 - Can't strain my brain

A plane has been shot down in the Ukraine
That's where they're mainly shot down, not in Spain
It's plain the plane was shot down, causing pain
And people died, in burning fire and flame
Putin is innocent of this deed, that's plain
He's puttin' on a brave face, acting sane
Social media is reporting this shame
And satellites are recording the same
It's sunny now but soon there'll be hard rain
By the weekend the rain could be insane
While in Paris people might go in Seine
Whether the weather forecast is in vain
Or not, I don't know, it can be a strain
To get it right, but I can't strain my brain

2783 - In vainsbury

Went out to Sainsburys but it was still closed
Opens at eleven on Sunday. Doh!
Went back and got bog roll, that's one of those
Things you don't wanna run out of, oh no!
Also got Ryvita. Told bread to go
And never come back. Never say never
I might still get the odd crusty loaf, though
Or a nice seeded wholemeal. There's butter
And cheese, and above all, Marmite, to smear
On the Ryvita, and the time is close
When I'll do just that. Lately, news is slow
They're still banging on about that plane. Sure
It's sad, but the story's repetitious
The pilot ditched it. Now please let it go

2573 - News from nowhere

It's been a hard day, and a hard evening
Playing bad-ass guitar hard as I can
It's now ten o'clock, and time for eating
The toilet's not flushing - I use a pan
I make things up in real time, there's no plan
Oh for fuck's sake, please stop this reporting
On the no news of the missing airplane
Next's doing better than M&S, things
Are really topsy-turvy if you think
Anything's guaranteed, but this living
Is an up and down thing - things go up and
Go down and then in-between, just middling
Let's not be surprised at discovering
That bad things happen. We're all too human

2369 - Tapas rush

Last night in Granada was a bar crawl
And with each glass of beer came a tapa
In no time at all, me and John were full
Yet to cancel these tapas there's no hope
It was great, though a kind of tasty hoop
You have to crawl through to be served a beer
I ate so much good food (not much was soup)
That my energy level's up to here
Despite getting up early to get there
On time at Malaga Airport, I'm all
Lively tonight. OK, I had a nap
On the bus to Malaga as skies cleared
Of cloud, but even so, to have gone all
The way to sketching in town needs a clap

Fri 1 March

2364 - Approaching Africa by boat

It's Sunday 24th of February
Me and John both got up really early
He drove us to the airport car park, we
Got a bus to the airport, boarded the
Malaga flight - blue sky, sunshine, lovely
When we got there. Algeciras by 3
But had to wait 4 hours til the ferry
Finally left for Morocco. I see
Land through the ferry windows - virtually
There, in Africa - it looks real hilly
But the light's almost gone, and so, sadly
We'll get to Tangier, but nocturnally
Tangier Med to Tangier Ville quickly
By bus is the aim, find hotel... Tricky!

Sun 24 February

2362 - Piano 40

A much-needed coffee as I type this
Not much going on tonight - I have to save
My finances and all my energies
Because the holiday's close now. I have
Tonight to relax, tomorrow to shove
Things into a bag, passport, boarding card
A few clothes, new woolly hat, some warm gloves
Early Sunday, John and me climb aboard
A jet to Malaga. Marquis de Sade
Is my new book, collection of stories
Just finished Solzhenitsyn's, of the brave
Wars in Soviet days. Pearl's no longer bored -
The keys have arrived to her happiness
At last, a new piano, which she'll love!

(Pearl's my older daughter, who lives in London, and after about 3 years without a piano, she has now got one at last!)

2280 - In the Lapland of the gods

I won't go on again about the cold
It's winter after all, and not Sweden
Or even worse Finland, where I am told
They kill themselves there about of depression
Over the dark and cold far more often
Logical, cos it's worse for that than here
So cold Brits, realise your good fortune
It's not nice to be there this time of year
Unless you fly there to see Santa where
He lives, in Lapland, just south of the pole
In which case, just maybe, that could be fun
Today I hired a car, drove to Yorkshire
Holmfirth, to be precise, where cameras rolled
Last of the Summer Wine, town of old men

2260 - Swedish tattoo mirage

The holiday's last day - again, Malmo
The setting, cold but sunny, walked to town
Up Amiralsgatan. STILL that tattoo
Shop's closed. Fuck 'em then. Instead, paid cash down
On a Swedish soccer shirt, walked around
And sat in Lilletorg with a coffee
Just as the rain started to pummel down
I reached Central Station, still quite early
Bought a book, grabbed my bag, platform 1B
To Kastrup Airport, Copenhagen, so
Confusing, all these Nordic countries. Borne
Over the Oresund Bridge 'cross the sea
Then easyJet to Manchester. And oh
Yes, avoided rain, coped with aches and pains

Mon 12 Nov

2227 - On the road, on the track, on the runway

These are the countries I've been to so far -
All parts of the UK, also Ireland
France (mainly north, but also Basque area)
Austria briefly, twice to Switzerland
Liechtenstein, Belgium, Germany, Holland
Friendly northern Portugal, much of Spain
Some Italian cities, Slovenia, and
Eastern Greece, western Turkey by both train
And bus, the USA, but tried in vain
To see the Falls over in Canada
Next month I'll add both Denmark and Sweden
Maybe Hungary next year. Hop on a plane
Enjoy the view from way up in the air
Drive through strange towns, from trains observe the land

2143 - Wet summer from above the clouds

One of those long days. Down to Southampton
With FlyBe, bless 'em, non-refundable
Stewardesses in red dress, and the man
Camp-sounding. All then is as usual
Tried to sleep there and back with minimal
Success. The meeting was friendly. Biscuits
Supplied, thank God, as I had no lunch, well
Not unless you count a choc bar and crisps
At ten past three. New book, but read its script
By then. Nothing to do on the return
Flight, but shut eyes, and later on, marvel
At the thick white cloud masses, little bits
Of ground visible beneath, reflections
Of sunlight as wet surfaces dazzle

2015 - Minty airport

Last Monday, it was still Life in Venice
Despite the previous night's heavy drinking
A fun breakfast in the Hall of Mirrors
Style dining room of the hotel. Walking
To the bus, then along the strip linking
The lagoon city to the mainland. Flight
From Marco Polo to Manchester stings
My ears. Despite being extremely tired
I went by taxi with two friends that night
To an ex-pub lived in by anarchists
In dim blue light we tried entertaining
Them with our comedy. I shook with fright
No, with the cold (I think). A piece of piss!
The only hard part's the remembering

Diary of Monday 5 March

2012 - Adriatic 1

Up at five, walked up to Piccadilly
Met John on the way, train to the airport
Sunny day, great flight, no delay, could see
The towers of Venice in the blue, then caught
The bus to Mestre station - can report
That mainland Venice isn't beautiful
Long train ride to Trieste, in March sun walked
Along the bay and back, then glasses full
Of Grolsch, followed by a nice Chinese meal
Hopped on the bus to Koper over the
Border in Slovenia, where the bus brought
Us really close to Vodisek Hotel
After this sonnet we intend to be
Drinking in the old town before we know't

Diary of Fri 2 March

2010 - Turkey trot

The tallest building now stands in Dubai
The Haiti earthquake destroys Port-au-Prince
Polish president's plane falls from the sky
Iceland eruption removes pilots' wings
BP oil well blows, causing huge Gulf slicks
EU bailout for Greece, Spain wins World Cup
In South Africa. Many Wikileaks
Pakistan monsoon floods, miners brought up
In Chile. What is North Korea up
To? EU loan for Ireland - that's where I
Drive to with two mates - Sheep's Head, West Cork - it's
Pretty in summer. An Amsterdam trip
Then Athens, Delphi, Thessaloniki
And Istanbul by bus, carpets, mad flings