3282 - Pyramid theme

Had thought maybe I'd go and watch Derby
Play in the Carling Cup, but think I'll stay
In instead, on the radio there'll be
Updates at least, and maybe I can pay
Attention to writing comedy. They
Have asked for a theme that doesn't inspire -
Egypt or belly dancing - I won't say
I'll ignore the theme, cos I am a tryer
But Ancient Egypt, I am not a buyer
I could do an anecdote 'bout belly
Dancing - remember Istanbul? - but hey
Not sure if anecdotes are my desire
At least of alcohol and fags I'm free
Til I go to Glossop this Saturday

2494 - Bye bye '13

It's New Year's Eve, we're at the end at last
Of year '13 that's unlucky for some
Steve Clarke at work just survived a bike crash
And me, I've survived many a late walk home
Highlights? In February, holiday among
The mountains of Morocco and Spain, no
Ski-ing, but great tapas. Trip to London
In August with Jo, stayed with Pearl. To go
Away with Jo for the first time was so
Much fun, we'll do Paris next spring. A blast
Was had rehearsing and performing fun
Comedy stuff with Dermot. Did a show
Of our own in November. Laughs with Nance
Especially the June party. The year's gone

2469 - Three types of death

Last night I turned on the TV at ten
To watch the news just before Question Time
After a long play on my guitar, when
I saw that Nelson Mandela, that fine
Leader of South Africa, had declined
And died that evening, tributes flowed freely
This evening the World Cup draw almost signed
England's death warrant. They play Italy
In Manaus, Brazil's hot jungle city
Then down to Sao Paulo, struggle again
Against seeds Uruguay, and then more flying
To Belo Horizonte, bit more easy
This time, Costa Rica they're up against
Feedback not good for act on 29th

2445 - News of the whirlwind

The massive typhoon hit the Philippines
The island of Leyte lies to the east
Taking the full force of Pacific winds
Leaving little of houses on the coast
Roofs ripped off, removed by the roaring blast
Families torn apart between live and dead
Sadly the aid can't get through very fast
But at least today the death toll has had
A reduction from around ten thousand
To two thousand five hundred, which has been
A relief. Other news being discussed
The Egyptian night-time curfew lifted
High energy prices, one of the themes
I also see there's discontent in France

2535 - Where there's hope, there's war

A news feature, not done many lately
Egypt is kicking off, it's split in two
Muslim Brotherhood against the army
It's Iran once more, religion fights who-
Ever wants western values. Once, it's true
The States and GB abused these countries
So the religious painted themselves true
Nationalists, local heroes, freedom-fighters
The West still exploits when it can, the cause
Of democracy a phantom, money
And lifestyles being the real lure of the new
Young generation, while conservatives
Defend old values, places like Turkey
Iran, Egypt. Time favours the young, though...

2374 - Post-Morocco blues

I'm feeling better, post-Morocco blues
And germs are being destroyed, one by one
Second day off work, but my real excuse
Was tiredness, I'd put my shirt and shoes on
But could hardly produce locomotion
So lacking in energy, germs still rife
I phoned in sick again, though guilt-ridden
Was for the best. Now I can feel new life
And strength returning, so I feel it's safe
To go back to work tomorrow. I've used
My time off best I could, but I've not gone
Out at all. Read some Sade, then watched a Love-
Film film, Naked Lunch, it brought memories
Of North Africa back (I left too soon!)

2366 - Where are we?

What an amazing journey had today
From Chefchaouen to Tangier into Spain
Tarifa, Algeciras, and then hey!
Bus to Malaga - there's been recent rain
But the weather's been great, we can't complain
Went out for a few beers, some food and wine
We drank in Malaga - our main complaint
With Africa has been that you can dine
But you can't drink, evenings aren't genuine
So we returned to the hotel early
But here, everything is working out fine
The Moroccan stuff, it is working fine
I am too pissed to continue this way
We need sleep now, sorry to be a pain

Tue 26 February

2365 - Moroccan mountain meanderings

A beautiful day here in Chefchaouen
Got a taxi here last night from Tangier
80 euros for 80 miles driving
Through winding roads at top speed - good driver
Found hotel, found cafe and found reefer
Abdul, a local hooded man, sold some
Quick joint, then to bed. This morning, a fair
Commotion in town, market day among
The winding blue Medina, folk selling
Everything, every drug under the sun
(Well, outside the shops). We had to beware
Locals who grow their own, always pushing
Despite this, climbed a mountainside and then
Smoking, then more eating in Chefchaouen

Mon 25 February

2364 - Approaching Africa by boat

It's Sunday 24th of February
Me and John both got up really early
He drove us to the airport car park, we
Got a bus to the airport, boarded the
Malaga flight - blue sky, sunshine, lovely
When we got there. Algeciras by 3
But had to wait 4 hours til the ferry
Finally left for Morocco. I see
Land through the ferry windows - virtually
There, in Africa - it looks real hilly
But the light's almost gone, and so, sadly
We'll get to Tangier, but nocturnally
Tangier Med to Tangier Ville quickly
By bus is the aim, find hotel... Tricky!

Sun 24 February

2363 - Pizza with Josie

It snowed today in Wilmslow as we dined
In Pizza Express, sat by the window
Josie and me both struggled hard to find
The pizzas of our choice, because she's no
Fan of vegetables. She chose to go
For a simple Margherita, and me
A hot Calabrese, forget the snow
Afterwards went to the bookshop where we
Looked at the section labelled history
Searching for Anne Frank's Diary on shelves lined
With war books, biographies. Tomorrow
It's an early start for me - 4.30
A.M. I have to be in dark and wind
Waiting for John's car. Then, to Morocco!

2360 - To your health

There's nothing quite as satisfying as
A late night snack, such as mince and pasta
After watching The Brits, and before that
35 press-ups, proving I'm fitter
Than for several years, that's 5 more than the
Previous best of 30, so how 'bout that?
OK, so I smoked and drank straight after
I earned the right, get a life all you twats
Sorry, just trying to rhyme (quickly), that's
All, so I can go to bed. Bought a hat
Suncream and lip balm, I'm ready for the
Holiday in Morocco and Spain, what
Else? Oh yeah, some euros and some dollars
Now I'm ready to go to Africa

2358 - Song without words

Quite quiet at work today, but very warm
Went for a walk at lunchtime to find out
About Moroccan currency, which can't
Be obtained in advance. Could take some pounds
But dollars are accepted just about
Everywhere there, so I'll get some greenbacks
And some euros for Spain. This evening, got
In another great guitar session, slapped
Along to soulful jazz, and Beach Boys tracks
Minus vocals, which was the perfect storm
Of memory and technique. Tomorrow, out
Again, hopefully down to Jabez Clegg's
For a performance night, not to perform
But probably just to watch and to chill out

2355 - Map of dreams

Hey hey it's Friday, and we're home and dry
All those workers who long for the weekend
Work's alright (apart from the work), mostly
But it's nice having some 'me-time' to spend
What to do tomorrow? It's time I found
Out what Josie wants. Meanwhile, today, I
Looked at the map of where we'll be around
That's southern Spain and Morocco, and by
The end of this month we'll both think and sigh
At the excitement we had, both on ski
And on Morocco's elevated land
It's amazing, Africa's so nearby
I should brush up my Arabic, maybe
After less than a year, it's forgotten!

2354 - Music of the mountains

A great guitar session this Thursday night
And then arranged the coming holiday
It's going to be an interesting time, right
Enough, the hills of Morocco by day
Smoking by night in an old-fashioned way
Then ferry back to Spain for some ski-ing
In the Sierra Nevada by day
And beer by night, no doubt. We'll be doing
The kind of things you can't do alone, things
Best done with friends. I'll be shooting down white
Rocks, and maybe there'll be some time to stay
In Granada, where I'm remembering
The Alhambra, still, from when I was quite
The teenager - so long I've been away

2115 - Salaam, so long!

The last Arabic class ended today
These lunchtime sessions were hard work, it's true
But now it's over I'll look back fondly
Fifty quid rarely proved such good value
Although Hannah the teacher's not on cue
Most weeks, and rushes through the coursework then
Leaving us dizzy, questions in a queue
That's not always dealt with. Pick up your pen
And quickly write your homework, for again
You'll not be told. She's not harsh, she's OK
She's from Greece, she's had seven kids, and knew
Arabic because of twenty years spent
In Saudi, met a man from Sudan, they
Now live in Prestwich. So, salaam to you!

2011 - Arab spring, Swiss autumn

The Arab Spring starts in Tunisia
Bouazizi self-immolates, this turns
Into a nationwide issue and the
Longtime President flees. Egypt soon learns
And ousts Mubarak. Libya also yearns
To end Gaddafi's forty-year crackdown
(He's killed in October), rebellions
In Yemen, Bahrain, Syria. Slowdown
In economy drags on, loans abound
Japanese tsunami, Fukuoka
William and Kate's wedding, and Norwegians
Shot and blown up by madman. He is found!
Osama drama in Pakistan! Car
Used for trips, then junked. Swiss trip - lakes, mountains

2007 - The news and the muse

Bulgaria and Romania join EU
Celeb Big Brother starts racism row
Madeleine McCann snatched in Portugal - who
Did it? Greek heatwave, woodlands so hot now
Last Harry Potter published. Jericho
Summit between Olmert / Mahmoud Abbas
Marion Jones took drugs all those Games ago
UK boycott if Mugabe attends
The EU-Africa summit. Alas
Benazir Bhutto's assassin got through
I leave Blogit at year's end, start to go
To a poetry group, and have a bash
At live poetry reading with a view
To entertaining them, and this I do...

Written Sat 3 March

1998 - Omagh God

Saddam opposes inspections, then caves
Water on the Moon? Good Friday, Belfast
Suharto goes, Pakistan misbehaves
With nukes, Tsar and kin reburied at last
French World Cup, Congo war, Yangtze outsplash
US embassies bombed, East Africa
Omagh high street bombed, meanwhile Google starts
Hugo Chavez wins in Venezuela
Deaths of Pol Pot, Ted Hughes, Frank Sinatra
George Michael caught in Beverly Hills lav
Tommy Lee beats Pammy. I run quite fast
Up and down Snowdon, and round Stockport where
I now live, with a lodger, and I have
A second job (promoted in my first!!)

1997 - You can run, but...

Divorce finds Ireland, Tamil Tigers fight
Algerian war and Tupac in Peru
Hale-Bopp Comet, suicide at Heaven's Gate
Versace shot and Blair PM, woo-hoo
Bertie Ahearn hello, bye Mobutu
Hong Kong goes back to China, and Di dies
Louise shakes baby, Teresa dies too
Scots and Welsh parliaments soon, French truck strikes
Block ports, hello to Mary McAleese
Luxor shootings, Kyoto saves climate
JK Rowling and Philip Pullman do
Kids sci-fi, Titanic and Girls of Spice
Mike Tyson bites an ear, I run up quite
Tall hills, drive my green Ford, and move anew

1996 - More than thirty years of hurt

IRA Canary Wharf explosion
Garry Kasparov beaten by Deep Blue
Hamas bombs Israel, Arafat condemns
Them. Aznar wins in Spain. Dunblane school, who
Can forget the sadness? Mad cows, Cairo
Tourists shot, Turkey counters Kurds, Yasser
Accepts Israel exists, and Romano
Prodi replaces Silvio. Chechnya war -
Yeltsin calls a ceasefire. Cloned sheep are here
Euro 96, Atlanta games on
Manchester bomb - soon the old town looks new
De Klerk says sorry for apartheid. The
Taliban take Kabul, Clinton's next win
I leave home, but family, I still love you