3040 - Just about alright now!

Wow. Despite everything, the Christmas do
Came and went with me keeping myself dry
All those hours, others knocking back wine, you
Also see them with pints, they all get high
While you don't, and you're tired, last night you'd lie
In bed listening to neighbours' noise through wall
I heard them singing 'Alright Now' though I
Didn't recognise it at first. The wail
Of a student voice really couldn't fail
To wake me up and keep me awake through
Several hours of the morning. Then apply
A few hours at work, then a long work meal
Pleasant enough, but long, then a disco
And karaoke. Long hard victory!

3015 - Boom bang a bang

So tired today, below me or to side
A neighbour with the loudest boots is here
He or she (think it's he) started to stride
Noisily around, stomping on their floor
In the middle of Saturday night, for
Long enough to threaten my beauty sleep
And now this morning, the same din once more
Woke me around seven, I heard him keep
Not only stomping but bang, crash and bleep
(Rude words in my head). No way could I hide
Under the covers from this, guard my ears
And so, only six hours of precious kip
Under my pillow, I lay there and tried
To drop off again, but few dreams appeared

2330 - After the ball-ache

It was party night late last night next door
Sounded like fun but none of them can sing
And the bass was cranked up, the playing poor
But they're good mates, bless 'em, they're doin' their thing
They should know when the X Factor's coming
To town, they should pop down to do clown pop
And hope they go down well when Lou's voting
They started at 3, about 5 they stopped
While they were playing around I did drop
Off and dreamed of loud live music, but for
Only a few minutes. Tried listening
To Radio Four over their noise, strange crop
Of loud and quiet, but which one was the bore?
Too tired for playing axe, exercising

2086 - Sleep no more

My sleep was truncated in the morning
By a noisy neighbour below, I heard
Endless scraping, movement and brief banging
For hours, as I've heard before from that turd
From Poland or wherever. It's absurd
The way they stay up all night, yet still go
Out in the morning. Thank God I was spared
From working all day feeling so tired, though
I took the afternoon off, able to
Sun myself on the grass while studying
Arabic, then household chores, then a good
Old guitar practice, a shower, a meal, now
It's time to call on Katy - ring... ring...ring
Another long chat, now it's time for bed

Tue 22 May

1722 - Stairways to heaven and hell

The guy who recently moved in upstairs
Is doing more DIY than Fritzl
He bangs, drills and scrapes into the late hours
The banging started at the terrible
Time of 5:20 this morning, a lull
Following, but my sleep was disturbed then
And I was wracked with fatigue, a struggle
To do any work or even talk when
You're barely awake in body and brain
At the office. And yet nevertheless
Another part in Chorlton Festival
Was waiting for me this evening up in
The top room at Lloyds Bar, a small affair
It was, with help from my friends (a little)

1338 - Tuesday morning, 3am

I need to sleep, I need to sleep, I need…
The neighbours were shout, shouting, bang, banging
Enough at 3 am to make ears bleed
After a while, the pair were quietening
And dreams were returning, were returning
But then, just before four, just before four
They started it all again, and joining
The argument was a voice much deeper
A second man had come over, over
And the husband now sounded frantic, keyed
Up and more defensive, his voice rising
The noise stopped at half-four, stopped at half-four
I lay, light grew like a seed, like a seed
I rose early, started cleaning, cleaning

1328 - Kiss this

The neighbours rowed yesterday afternoon
Which is far better timed than late at night
It was quite funny hearing her voice boom
From the window below in broad daylight
So everyone could hear, though there’d be slight
Or zero understanding of her words
Since she was talking turkey - no, not right -
She was talking Turkish… They could be Kurds
Maybe, but I don’t think so. They’ve been turds
At times, though, as these arguments can zoom
Up through the floorboards, dispelling dream-flights
Talking of which, I won’t be with the birds
On a plane to Greece; that holiday’s doomed
Since they cancelled that route. So long, Kiss Flights!
Sat 24 April

1231 - A bouquet of barbed wire

Too tired to sleep last night, then the neighbour’s
Usual early Sunday noisefest wrecked
What short rest I’d fought for for several hours
And finally bought so dearly. Some sect
That teaches against lie-ins, I expect
And he’s the high priest of their Salford church
His services one floor below connect
His fervent visions with my own that lurch
From dream to dream, but get knocked off their perch
By his human cockerel act. Oh, for powers
Of eviction, papers all served correct
With instant effect. This I must research
On Google, and hand to him the Flowers
Of Evil in his bawdy lair, Semtexed.

1161 - And the new heavyweight champion of noise is...

Oh my God! I’ve worked my arse off today!
Even though that twat one floor below me
Played a song on repeat, far too loudly
For two hours from 8 am on Sunday
(He often does this: I’m thinking it may
Be a deliberate wind-up…); yet I still
Got plenty of reading done; then a play
Of my acoustic guitar. Had the will
To start immediately recording till
Almost bedtime… Who gives a fuck what they
Think about it below me, given the
Idiotic, thoughtless way they make noise. I’ll
Remove my bedroom rug quite soon, if they
Carry this on. Then I’ll make noise, early*
*Early on weekdays, of which there are five, as opposed to the 2 weekend mornings they seem to deliberately make noise. 5 against 2. Will that make them see sense? Sense? Them? Incapable of it…

1127 - Flightpath to Dreamland

It’s almost here! I’m sitting waiting for
The time to drive to Birmingham Airport
But first I’d really like to sleep, before
My odyssey begins. The sounds were fraught
Last night, below me, as that couple fought
With words and maybe more. Heard many bangs,
And none of amorous kind, though time has taught
That sleep is reduced when I’m feeling pangs
Of excitement or worry about things
Happening next day. A physical law:
Adrenalin kicks in; you can’t transport
Yourself to Dreamland. Feeling like a king
Before the battle that’ll save him or
Dethrone him, I await fate’s random sport

1107 - Shove thy neighbour

Those noisy buggers below struck again
Last night, the guy bellowing on the phone
At 1 am, then later, I heard them
Talking, music at 2:30 that droned
Upwards, drowning my quiet radio sound
Too bad, as today, had to get my car
MOT'd in Hulme, at Cedric's, then, soon
As poss, get to the office on foot: far
Enough, but worse when tired and late. At four-
Twenty, an eye test. New operation
With lasers an option. My eyes have grown
Dimmer since the first op in '01. Poor
Me, then I need to collect car, if / when
I can afford the repair bill I'm thrown...
Tue 15 Sept

1088 - Hard labour for my neighbour

The bloody neighbours are at it again
One night it's sex, a lovey-dovey pair
The next it's nagging, screaming argument
I've really lost my patience; I hate her
More than him now. It's her causing the stir
That interrupts my rest, and makes me tired
There is a music open night later
I wanted to attend, but I've retired
Due to my tiredness, due to her weird
Oscillation between love and hate. When
Will women get a grip; not just their hair
But their emotions need it! Always fired
Up about stuff that, by contrast, we men
Couldn't give a stuff about. We don't care!
Thur 27 Aug

1085 - Mumbling and grumbling

I ache with tiredness, such tiredness
That film last night, then reading for a while
Then hearing sex one floor below; all this
And waking up early has cramped my style
Too tired to play guitar, or swim the Nile
Wonder if I’ll ever go to Egypt,
Or tread on Asian or Australian soil?
Probably - most do, these days. Most have tripped
Out of their dull surroundings, open-lipped
In wonder…Or were they bored, wanting rest
From the sheep-herding process and the vile
Heat? I know how they feel; energy’s slipped
To a new low, so when I’ve written this
I’ve got a film to watch: it’s called ‘Basque Ball…’
Mon 24 Aug

1078 - A sabre for my neighbour

The latest on the neighbours down below
(Where two men are now shouting and laughing…)
Where is the woman? The one who followed
The resident man, howling and screaming
Abuse at him from morning to evening:
Echoing down the staircase as he went;
Ascending through my floorboards at going
To bed time and beyond… But now he’s bent
On cheering himself up. His friend has lent
His company, his sick piggy ho-ho
A traumatic reminder of that spring
And summer ’06, when at indecent
Hours of the night, these two losers would throw
Wild and long sessions, whooping and drinking
Mon 17 August