3263 - Johnny B. Deade

Friday night in, a little bit of beer
Just wondering whether to get more bottles
Before a prog at ten that's on Beeb Four
About the death of rock n roll, the skulls
Of rock n rollers laugh at the feeble
Bores of today, their strings pulled by the Man
OK so was Elvis, original
He was, devoted to the blues back then
A frontier pioneer, or just a man
From the backwoods, where formed a new culture
That spread round the world with shakes and rattles
It's all down to business, all determined
By money men, not art, art keeps you poor
But I stick with it, cos I'm not fickle

3257 - Yesterday art gone

A day late writing this, was just too keen
When I got in last night to watch TV
There was a prog on Beeb 4 'bout the scene
In the 70s with David Bowie
Was out all day and most evening, busy
Hangin' out with my ex-wife, Vee, she's not
In the best shape, she's not all that healthy
But trying to improve her little lot
We had fun, a day out looking at art
The refurbished Whitworth Art Gallery
It's a nice size, bigger, but not obscene
Then afterwards we hung out at her flat
Had a few cans of Kronenbourg, that's been
The first drink since last Sunday - good for me!

About Sat 18 July

3224 - The fun factor

Think I'll play some guitar soon tonight, not
Doing anything special. I won't paint
The spare room tonight. Its final white coat
Can wait a day or two, but what won't wait
Is guitar practice. My skill will grow faint
If I don't put in a shift frequently
So tonight, when this sonnet's done, a great
Time - some dance, some reggae and R and B
It's time to forget about jihadi
For a minute and produce western art
Decadent art maybe, not of the saint
But then it's a craft, so is comedy
Like fishing or carpentry, could be lost
If someone preserves not just the ancient

3184 - A father, who art in Munich

This is my last full day in Munich and
It was very similar to yesterday
But reversed in order. First, art. Began
With a visit to the Alte Pinakothek
You just gotta love a Flemish master
Or fifty. Plus Rubens, Rembrandt, works not
As well-known to me simply because they're
Not housed in London. After I came out
Of there, the sky cleared, and I had a good
Walk round the 'English Garden' which was grand
Except that I just kept losing my way
Never did find the Chinese Tower! I fought
My way out of that maze to watch Bayern
Get hammered 3-0 by Barca today

Wed 6 May

3178 - Eastern bloc blog 'bout Prague

First full day in Prague, first full day's always
Exciting, getting used to a new land
Getting to know the buses and tramways
Two tours I've done, helped me to understand
The layout of old Prague, and then beyond
(On the 'alternative tour'). Saw street art
Saw galleries (from the outside!) and learned
About 3D printers and bitcoins, part
Of the changing world, try to take to heart
Nika was the morning guide, a nice face
From Ljubljana. Tomas was the 'art man'
In the afternoon, at Cross Club, then part
At Florenc station, bus back to my stay
At Elf Hostel. Most of it's gone as planned!

Thur 30 April

2795 - Alors alors, I will say this only once

Woke at 9:30, left hotel an hour
Later, to the boulangerie nearby
Bought quiche and croissant, pan au chocolat
For Josie. Walked round the Ile St Louis
With Pearl. Jo bought an orange watch to see
The time. Then Notre Dame, then the Left Bank
Coffee and macarons at Laduree
Eiffel Tower (twice) although we didn't hang
Around. Quai Branly, big exhibition
Of art from places non-European, our
Tendency to concentrate on nearby
The familiar, overturned. Then we hung
Onto the rail on the Metro, half-hour
Ride back to Hotel de Ville. Alors - bye

Fri 11 April

2497 - Hobble, bubble, toil and trouble

It's Pearl's 26th birthday, we went out
To the 1847 Bistro
Near the Art Gallery, amusing eat
Most of the group had nibbles, it was so
Vegetarian, it was hard to know
What to order, but managed in the end
Poor Vera was on crutches, so was slow
Of movement, as was her mother. I sent
Out for a taxi, found one quickly, then
Piled in with difficulty. To her flat
Then me and Louis walked home. Had to go
To a takeaway en route home! Good fun
Seeing Grandma again. Daisy said that
I was like Basil Fawlty! Oh dear, no!

2446 - Money is the root of all art

I hope they don't raise interest rates next year
That's what the news is saying they might do
The mortgage rising again makes us scared
Interest-only in my case - I have to
At some point find more funds, somehow accrue
Wealth to pay off the capital, or my
Flat will pass from my ownership to you
Maybe, but there are so many like I
Who struggle with money as years go by
But if nothing much can be done, why care?
Certainly don't get stressed, but slowly brew
A quality product that's only my
Invention and skill, something they can't share
In, because it's me and you, old and new

2418 - Work experience provider

Went down the Deli Lama in Salford
Ordered a coffee, sat at the table
With Claire, David and Sian, and there we talked
For two hours, and in that time, was able
To recruit Sian to take pics, Dave to tell
Me of a cheap printer in Manchester
For artwork and publicity to sell
Our show on the second of November
I did this by myself - Derm wasn't there
It's easy, when you have work, to network
You're offering work to artists and can call
On lots of talented people who care
About the chance to practice what they're good
At. Hope there'll be more jobs for these people

2402 - A lorra lorra Lowry

So little sleep last night, I read a book
From start to finish, about the artist
LS Lowry, who himself worked late up
In the attic in Pendlebury, just
A mile or two up the road from these flats
Where I live in Salford. Was off today
Thank God, but didn't nap at all, no rest
For the wicked. In fact, just looked to see
If there were writing opportunities
For comedy writers. They try to block
Your optimism, which I fair, I guess
Stand-up's the easiest way to start, maybe
And can be fun, as I've found since I stuck
At it this time, slowly doing my best

2401 - Love in a warm climate

Another nice day out, sun on my back
Train to Wilmslow, weekly day with Josie
Read 'Love In A Cold Climate' on the track
And finished it on the way back as we
Approached Manchester (at Piccadilly)
Now I'm home I've selected my next book
It's a biography (L.S. Lowry)
That's timely, cos last Wednesday took a look
In the Lowry Centre - I was in luck
There was an exhibition there with stacks
Of his unseen sketches as well as the
More famous favourites previously took
In. Now to give the old guitar a whack
No, that's not euphemistic comedy!

2362 - Art in heaven

After work, the day begins, as usual
Quick snack, then down to the Deli Lama
In Salford, where we met congenial
People, chatted, then we went on elsewhere
The New Oxford, to be precise, and shared
Ideas for a one-hour show, November
The Comedy Festival, you know where
The King's Arms, upstairs, and, yes, that is where
And when, and now don't worry, don't despair
All will be well, I've emailed them with all
The info they've asked for, last minute, yeah
But that's life, that's art, struggle against the
Competition. I hope things aren't equal
And we'll triumph by the end of this year...

Wed 21 August

2360 - Figueras it out

Not as tired as yesterday - batteries
Recharged, but an early night still to come
If I can soon get off Facebook, that is
I fancy bed and a book. making some
Quick progress through Dali's comments, that's whom
I'm reading, he wasn't shy - well, maybe
He was in a way, locked in his own tomb
Of solitary genius, constantly
Imagining the day of destiny
And decay of his mortal faculties
Good news - we'll be upstairs at the King's Arms
Comedy Festival. I'm real happy
We're not stuck in the snug again - I'm pleased
At the chances that are about to come

2534 - Smart art

It's nearly time to pop to the King's Arms
For once again The Worst Comedy Night
In Salford, this time Dermot and me are
Pretty much making things up each minute
While some usual attendees are with Scots
And everyone else in Edinburgh
The room might not be so full, so the spots
Should be easy to get, and I'm not sure
The night will run its full course, but there's more
To talk about, with festivals to come
(Of Manchester Comedy), 3 Minute
Theatre's new variety show, and Future
Artists are holding start-up seminars
For creative businesses. Out of sight...

2513 - Sketches of the plain

It's hot and sweaty, just how I like it
Changed after work into shorts and t-shirt
Went down to Cafe Nexus for an art
Class, life drawing, though some might think it's dirt
Nancy got me into it, now she's hurt-
ling across Belgium, first Bruges, now Brussels
Posting on Facebook, but does she do tweets?
Dunno - I don't, used to, but changed emails
And couldn't access it no more. Phone fails
To connect to the net, still, but now it
Is getting easier to use wi-fi, learnt
How to use that on my many travels
Now, and posted on Facebook in the art
Class, model five feet away. What a prat!

2490 - Princes of comedy

Hello, hello, I'm back again, been out
Rehearsing, re-rehearsing, re-rehearse
Comedy routines old and new about
Whatever me and Dermot both converse
His flat, and then the Pint Pot, could be worse
And so we work it out, that's comedy
But not as we know it, Jim - to subvert
Jaded expectation, yes that's what we
Try to achieve, layers of subtlety
With wit fuelled by coffee, pints of stout
Quiet Sunday in Salford - not Christmas
An unholy night, the Irwell flows free
As do our ideas, magic roundabout
It's about art, it's not about the purse

Sun 30 June

2347 - Let the waves pound

Deflated feeling, but I will revive
In fact last night had its positive bits
But disappointment's like a twisted knife
Made worse by others receiving plaudits
From the same folk who to me took the piss
But when you notice a room of people
Most smiling, many giggles, one git
Is all it takes to spoil it - one, that's all
Was it even worth one small beer bottle?
Back to tonight, and after work, was brave
And had a new tattoo - memories of what's
On the Copenhagen shore - rocky girl
With a fishtail, she's here for my whole life
See how I've had to put up with some pricks!

2321 - Walk this way, and that way, and this way again

What a long day's walk, yet I felt so fit
Thanks to my recent exercise regime
Not just legs but upper body, a sprite
I was, collecting a parcel, full steam
Then to Piccadilly, got there on time
- Early, in fact - no need to be worried
About being late seeing Josephine
As usual, popped in first to All-U-Need
For snacks and drinks. Train to Manchester. Tried
Subway food, cheap but basic, the basket
Useful, I s'pose. To Chinatown, shopping
Then the Art Gallery, then a CD
And card for her mum's birthday, then trained it
Back to Wilmslow, then long walk home to mine

2304 - All presents are correct

A fun Boxing Day, started at mum's house
Her waking me up like a boy, half-eight
As I stretched and yawned, wiping out the years
After Coco Pops and a cheese omelette
Drove down the motorway and wasn't late
Collecting Jo from Wilmslow, then to Vee's
Where Pearl and Louis joined us, then drove straight
To my flat, opened presents, then the Quays
Where we dined and shopped, checked out the Lowry's
Peter Blake exhibition and a browse
Through Lowry's own pictures - not quite the Tate
But passes time nicely. Me and Louis
Are waiting to watch football and get news
Of what teams did on grass so green and wet

2224 - Playing around

Had a good play on the guitar again
Not my own songs this time, just played along
To CDs - it was good to hear the strain
Of old tunes and riffs I've known for so long
Made from my own hands that have become strong
In their practised art, ad lib repeated
Jazzy approaches, heavy bass lines slung
Beneath the more ethereal hues painted
On the upper reaches of the axe fret
Rhythms that make me move while I'm playing
Head, feet, hands and mind, they're all in motion
Music as exercise, music not read
But felt as it was felt down memory lane
Years vibrate into life like a hit gong