3089 - Big new Apple

Josephine's 12 today, though not quite yet
Not til ten to midnight, strictly speaking
Last night was awake for hours, so bit short
On energy today, but still going
To Manchester with her and enjoying
It (not the 'Pool as planned - not enough time)
She got an i-phone 5C, was fondling
It all day (it's not from me - from her mum)
I bought her a pink phone case. That was from
The Apple store. Lunch at Essy's. She got
Gammon as usual. I was finishing
Off her uneaten beans. With our full tums
More shopping, then Starbucks. Time to collect
Her, mum, then train back, and now, just resting

3088 - Future travel

It's Friday night, I'm home, should have been out
But that fell through because of the weather
So now I'm preparing to be without
Wakefulness, because tomorrow is the
12th birthday of Josie, and we both are
Gonna go to Liverpool. Before that
Get a parcel from the post depot where
It lies. That's Claire's present, then I must meet
Josie, then get the train to Scouseland. What
That means is an early-ish night, allowed
No late night, got to rest and recover
Today I booked my flight with easyJet
To Prague in late April, when I will shoot
Around Central Europe. I'll soon be there!

About Fri 30 Jan

3087 - Bananas in Split?

I'm writing this tomorrow morning. Yes
I forgot to write my daily sonnet
I was down the Egerton Arms, and guess
Who goes to that pub? John L, yes, and it
Was in order to plan September's get-
Away to the Balkans. Bulgaria
Is first, cheap flight to Sofia, then flit
Through Macedonia to Albania
Where we'll stop in Tirana, make up for
Not quite getting there last year. Then we'll bus
It to Shkoder and walk the hills. Then it's
To Montenegro, through to Croatia
No time to stay in Dubrovnik, confess
But we'll finish up in Split - then we'll split

About Thur 29 Jan

3086 - Ideal homes, unideal thoughts

It's late, nearly half past one, and I'm here
You've gone to bed, and I'll be there soon, yes
Now what is there to say, what can appear
So many times. so many nights, I guess
I know more than you, that I must confess
Each line is a confession, speech is all
Can you defeat me in this meaningless
Pointless communication, possible
But unlikely, given the overall
State of the universe, the things that are now here
And finite matter, matters nonetheless
Meaning dissipates, disappears, dissolve
Into the ether, beyond my two ears
Becomes meaningless, oh so meaningless

Wed 28 January

3085 - Big bleater

I've felt quite strong all day, but energy
Is running out now as eleven's here
Did exercises, guitar wizardry
Can't beat playing along, not only hear
Then watched a footy match with Lou, my fear
Realised that it would make me miss part of
The eviction, Celebrity Big Brother
Thank goodness, Patsy's gone, so sorry love
But you're boring, though not as bad as Kav
Let's hope he goes next! A win for Derby
At home to Blackburn puts us back up there
Though our team's got more holes than a big sieve
Count Arthur Strong? Is this meant as funny?
Give me Great Expectations - the end's near...

3084 - Inconstant muse

Oh muse, hast thou to the bowels of hell flown?
I have no inspiration, no ideas
For poems to write. Leave me not alone
Flow from the fount, the motherlode, the seas
The moment I give thee, quill pen, a squeeze
Let ink duplicate the blue waves of doubt
The squiggles of desire, blots of disease
Let it flow, thin blue lines, within, without
Joined up inking, spell vowel and consonant
Inconstant love, inconsistent froth, foam
Please succour me, I'm sucked down to my knees
In slime, let rip, let rhyme, reason appears
Oh muse of mine, mine my mind, grind and groan
Til I've signed my name, kissed you, and gone home

3083 - Big blather

A good day out with Josie, though felt tired
After a while, not sure why, haven't ate
Too well these last few days, though I've quagmired
Myself in sleep repeatedly of late
Oh well, it's better than a drunken state
Of artificial excitement that just
Passes time (expensively). Let booze wait
Til my next night out, when I'll have the boost
To 'Bad Language' of beer, become the Proust
Of next Wednesday night's public spoken word
At the Castle or Gulliver's. Old Kate
Hopkins is baiting Perez Hilton lots
On Celeb Big Brother, a show admired
Not just by me but by Josie. That's great!

3082 - Derby winner

A great day out to Derby with Louis
The point of it, to see the FA Cup
Match against Chesterfield. Pleased to say we
(The Rams) won, two-nil, so no need to stop
By the city of the bent spire to prop
Up our hopes of progression - we are through
To the next round. But Louis was shook up
A little by Man City's defeat to
Middlesbrough (played at the Etihad too!)
Hired a car, drove through Macc and Leek, early
Arrival in Derby at one, could pop
Into the Rams' shop, buy a top or two
See the Clough-Taylor statue, pic with me
In the foreground. No, this day was no flop

3081 - Derby-erby-erby

I feel quite pumped up, work busy today
Just drinking coffee, guess I'll eat later
Might watch the FA Cup, but first I'll play
Guitar, then I'll tune in to Manchester
United v Cambridge (no-hopers!)
No contest, the Reds will win easily
In which case I'll switch and watch Big Brother
Later on still, sitcom, 'Catastrophe'
Looks worth a try, hope it will prove funny
Meanwhile, tomorrow, that is the big day
When me and Louis drive to Derby for
An FA Cup match (Rams / Chesterfield). We
Will drive there, like the old days. The UK
Was criss-crossed going to games.

3080 - Fergie-ergie-ergie

It's a cold winter, colder than summer
I hate winter, I wish it was more hot
The heating bills rise, hey what a bummer
I think the whole thing is a Tory plot
Meanwhile, Prince Andrew's in water that's not
Cool, over this sex scandal, more than just
Licking Fergie's toes this time. Boiling pot
Of a story, shagging girls who were lost
Somehow in upper-class orgies, the lust
Of the wealthy and powerful catered
For secretly, for royals, no doubt got
For free as part of privilege that's past
Scrutiny, scrotally totally fair
Cos life ain't equal. We must lick his bot...

3079 - The so-called so-called

I haven't written much so far about
The 'so-called Islamic' threat to our lives
I must admit there's danger all about
From Muslims as from ebola and hives
And suddenly getting a bunch of fives
Or is there? No, probably not. But they sneered
At Churchill as he warned, like nagging wives
They said, 'Let's be nice' and the noise of jeers
Was deafening, until the Panzers steered
Across the border into Poland. Flout
The lessons of history, stay not alive!
Or stay not free! These worries now appear
I think things may eventually work out
But to be destructive, so many strive!

3078 - Corny flakes

A fun day, a fun evening's comedy
For the first time in a while, I wielded
My guitar, lugging it so heavily
Through Salford to the King's Arms, fingers dead
Through cold. No, honestly, wasn't that bad
It snowed a little, but the flakes were thin
I was on last this time, Dave acknowledged
My recent birthday, I went on last in
A sparsely attended snug, sniggerin'
Sporadically and periodically
To be amusing the five acts did bid
They mainly found it hard to raise a grin
I did two ebola songs (seriously)
In the name of laughs, to offend, prepared

Tue 20 January

3077 - All that jazzy jersey

Today was Louis' birthday, but first I
Went into work, though it was very thin
Only four of us there. Hairdressers by
Shudehill at lunchtime. Daily Star reading
Matter - oh dear. Very pleased with token
From workmates for forty quid, T K Maxx
At which I bought two shirts and cardigan
Some nice new clothes to look good to the max
No time to rehearse comedy. Did ex-
ercises, then before long had to fly
Down town, ate at Vee's flat, had fried chicken
Then went and saw a film of man with sticks
Learning to be a great jazz drummer. Fly
Hands! It was 'Whiplash'... Cornerhouse closing...

Mon 19 January

3076 - Professor Short Hair

It's been a nice birthday though I stayed in
Went out Friday, am out tomorrow too
Saw Josie yesterday, and there's work friends
Giving me presents (maybe) when I go
To the office. I need a haircut though
So I hope there's time at lunchtime to get
My not-so-long tresses snipped. Wrote some new
Lyrics to I Fought the Law and some great
New ones for Rivers of Babylon. Wait
Til Tuesday night to see it. Sickly grin
All round, I hope. Not much now left to do
Most of the day I've spent lazily sat
Been reading Dickens' 'Great Expectations'
Gonna read a bit more. Good night to you! xx

3075 - Rivers of ebola

As I was walking to Josephine's house
Listening as usual to some great old songs
A song played in my phones 'bout breaking laws
Followed by the rivers of Babylon
It occurred to me Tuesday night's good fun
If I sing new versions of these tunes with
The accent on ebola. New versions
With funny lyrics harping on the myth
That that disease threatens us all, a kiss
Of death away. Though Jo thought me a louse
When I told her of the idea (it pongs
According to her) this is incentive
To finally bring my guitar out and horse
Around, just for fun, no pressure. What's wrong?

3074 - I ink therefore I am

I'll quickly type this or else I'll forget
By the time I get home from The Castle
Had meant to order new tattoos but got
Other stuff done at lunchtime instead. Well
Never mind, one day next at lunchtime I'll
Pop into the tattoo parlour with some
Patterns I want on my skin this month. Feels
Sensible to add them in January. Come
February I've got train tickets to zoom
Down to a tattoo show in Brighton, get
More ink jobs there probably. Tonight, fill
The beer glass, have a blast, laughs and then some
Ensure I get my chuckle muscle wet
And get some nice young girl the pump to pull

3073 - Sausage meet

Now for today, now what's happened today?
So busy at work, unexpectedly
My soup delayed til three, work, I obey
Lovely lentil and bacon flavour - the
Epitome of taste-bud sorcery
Not that long afterwards, consolation
Time to leave the office, a time for me
To head for more taste-bud titillation
And yet I've not yet stuffed sausages in
Mind you, I've got no sausages. They're way
Up there in my mind today, a story
Was told at work about them. They're poison
If uncooked but they were scoffed by some guy
In Manchester. Is he dead? Well, maybe!

3073 - Untitled cos I'm a lazy sod

This is yesterday, looks like I forgot
To write anything, maybe cos football
Was on in the evening, and was not hot
So I felt tired, cold, what with that withal
And with all that was not happening, I stalled
And could only think of heading for bed
In my head, so headed for my bed, falled
Onto my bedding, and soon was installed
Under the duvet, and there I was hot
Well, maybe not hot, but comfortable
In no time at all, I was so settled
That I slipped away where things are as not
As they are here but are better, unreal
Where wants and desires are all cheaply fed

About Wed 14 January

3072 - So we win again

Been out for a pub quiz, snowed on the way
At Cornbrook and Chorlton while on the tram
The venue, The Railway, West Didsbury
About nine of us, again our team won
Like last time, got the prize, a beer token
There was a two pound pint left from Christmas
I can admit I had a few of them
And it was tasty, drunk without a fuss
As we got most questions right and it was
A pleasure to meet what's her name, and they
Were all nice. Now I'm wondering what I am
Going to finish off with, statement-wise
Perhaps that silly victories they may
Come and go, but keep happy like I am

Tue 13 January

3071 - Write-off

Louis is back after four days away
He's been staying at his Mum's flat in town
But he's asleep, maybe I shouldn't play
Guitar as I was going to, the sound
Might wake him. I'm surprised he's lying down
Right now, he must have worked real hard writing
While staying there, not just lazing around
If so, then from him I should be learning
A lesson in application, keeping
Going til the end of a project, stay
With it for a change, learn to keep ploughin'
On regardless, eyes on the prize, pushing
And hustling, but I hate that, can't obey
My own will. Drinking again. End of moan

3070 - Time and a lit up cathedral

The time has gone, the moment has gone too
It's gone one, the night's gone, it's gone, that's it
Although I could say one, I could say two
And whatever I say, it don't mean shit
Could be the early nineties now, no, bit
Of that maybe, but who gives a shit, what
Does it matter, whether it is a hit
Or not, and I'd prefer if it is not
It's not the seventies, it's not that hot
So long ago, cathedral lit up to
Some spiritual ideal same time as lit
Up Yes and Genesis, Status Quo rocked
All over the world, The Jam said stuff too
How is it better now, it's not, it's shit

Sun 11 Jan 15

3069 - Work or fun?

I meant to write some stuff today but I
Did not wake til ten, that is no excuse
I know, still had all day to eat the pie
Of authorship, but kind of got the blues
And decided, as usual, to amuse
Myself rather than work, am I a weird
Person, or is that natural, refuse
To work when relaxation is offered
I think it is the common way, no sword
Or even pen grasped, no need to apply
Oneself, but some do, and these cunts abuse
The rest of us, but let them, it's absurd
To want what they want, when we love the sky
For its free emptiness. We win, they lose

3068 - Inside write

Three times this week I've been at work til six
Or beyond - unheard of! But now I'm back
Home, and here comes the weekend with its mix
Of boredom and ... no, not really. Might crack
On with some writing. Have become quite slack
In that regard lately, so if it's quiet
Then that's an opportunity to smack
Pen on paper and scribble, nay, and write
Both poetry and short stories. I might
Again work on the Oldcastle tales, pix
Of life in a fictional town, a pack
Of funny characters, their recent plight
Being my long neglect of them. Now, my pick's
Ready for guitar strumming, which I like

3067 - Play that funky music

Wow, just played 'Hell Raiser' - it was easy
No planning, no rehearsal, I just need
To know how the song sounds, and that for me
Is easy. Went into Woolworths and paid
For that single in '73, played
It rather a lot for a year or so
And the B-side too ('Burning') has it made
As a cool riff-based rock song. It would go
On the Dansette in the 70s, grow
Into my sponge-like brain which was still free
To absorb musical structure, would feed
On those singles I bought, like Status Quo
Sparks, Stylistics, Stevie Wonder, Roxy
I've practised and can now play them at speed

3066 - Poor people of Paris

Sad news about the killings in Paris
Religion strikes again, closed mind syndrome
A schizophrenic world-view, a virus
Which glorifies death and thy kingdom come
Let's not say that this is only Islam
There's been enough crusading previously
And it's not limited to religion
There's political ideology
That divides and rules with philosophy
No matter what we believe, seems we must
Resign ourselves to conflict both at home
And abroad. Education is a key
But what philosophy lies behind this
And must it always be liberalism?

3065 - In a fickle pickle

Well, not too bad, my comedy tonight
Considering no rehearsal time because
I stayed late at work, but turned out all right
First one of the new year, it's now three years
Or thereabouts since I sought out applause
And giggles for my gags, even little
Snickers and sniggers at gigs are a cause
Worth living for, not dying for, fickle
Crowds or small groups notwithstanding, battle
Against the hopeful stand-up who just might
Stand up to them, try to turn them from bores
Into chucklers, although they know fuck all
Drank three pints, back on beer, aiming for quite
Low consumption, just enough for a buzz

3064 - Wimble-fun

Just watched Wimbledon lose to Liverpool
No third round shock result tonight then, folks
Exciting in parts, but, like most games, all
Of it wasn't, so meanwhile, I wrote jokes
For tomorrow night's comedy, which cloaks
The slow passage of time with va-va-voom
Tonight, as Steven Gerrard got two pokes
Of the ball into the net, in this room
With Louis chatting away, broke the gloom
With old jokes culled from my book. How to fill
Ten minutes, though? One-liners may well stoke
The flames of fun, but they're over too soon
So I thought I'd spend the end of this Yule
Laughing at the 'Imagine' song lyrics

3063 - Buildings in the mist

Early rising, for me, Sunday morning
Before eight, because I needed to be
At Vee's flat by nine-thirty. Was walking
Through Manchester town centre, and could see
Some interesting views, hazy through foggy
Mist, like the Beetham Tower just on Deansgate
It seems to float in the mist, so that we
Can see through it, it doesn't exist. Wait
A few minutes, the fog clears, and its state
Returns to solidity, air clearing
Saw Josie back to Wilmslow, a coffee
In Starbucks, then home. This evening, I made
King Gong with Dermot, as usual cringing
At goings-on. Now bedtime looms for me

Sunday 4 January

3062 - Putting you in the picture

Pearl's birthday, her twenty-seventh. Early
On, at home, nearly lost all my photos
From 2014, I pressed the wrong key
And they vanished. Mentally I froze
Then found calm determination. Get those
Pictures back somehow, anyhow! I did
Eventually do it, thank God. Later, Jo's
Mum dropped her off at the station. Wanted
To get to Pearl's flat by four. Divided
The teams up different this time. Though closely
Fought, my team lost 'Articulate'... Voice rose
To a high pitch, not just mine! Then well-fed
At Evuna, Northern Quarter, eighty
Quid but good food (and wine!). Thanks, amigos!

3061 - Dread in the flat

Listening to 'World War Three' by Mikey Dread
It's a bloody long time since I did that
The familiar old sounds play, green, gold, red
Reminds me of a jumper my Mum knit
Back round '79, three colours with
Broad horizontal stripes, JA stylee
Sadly for some reason, don't still have it
Old memories courtesy of old Mikey
And altho it's dated technology
Like all good stuff, to me it still sounds good
Or, dread, I should have said but just forgot
Will play guitar at end of 'World War Three'
Got some new tracks on MP3, instead
I could play along to Spotify, what?

3060 - Bury the hatchet

Quick, the football starts soon, must write this now
The heat's been on since afternoon to beat
The cold, I've read Viv Albertine's book, ploughed
Through most of the long second half of it
The post-Slits period. This morning the light
Of dawn was seen in a strange room after
A few hours' much-needed sleep, for last night
Was, of course, New Year's Eve. I strayed from the
Path of righteousness, sobriety a
Victim of circumstance more than a vow
To party like crazy, get my throat wet
With booze. It just happened, okay? No fear -
I'm straight back on the wagon. Last year bowed
Out nicely, now this year I must compete