3287 - Rubies and diamond dogs

Didn't get the FFS tickets, for
Fuck's sake, but never mind, ambiguous
About it anyway. I'm looking for-
ward to Absolute Bowie, taking place
Saturday night. No drive-in, I confess
Nor is the Ruby Lounge gig on Tuesday
But we'll find out, is there life on dancefloors?
Not only in Warszawa, but UK
There'll be both sound and vision, and so may
Boys keep swinging, let's dance, Queen Bitch, you whore
From station to station, we'll be heroes
Be my wife, Jean Genie, no I won't say
Even Andy Warhol he was a bore
But in our rooms we won't be breaking glass

3286 - Oh FFS

Need to get tickets if any are left
For the FFS gig, I'd like to see
Sparks and Franz Ferdinand combined. A deft
Talker, Louise, who I met Saturday
Is going, and although it's patently
Not as good as seeing a Sparks gig, I
Might enjoy this nonetheless, and I'll see
The Mael brothers again. Three years gone by
Since I saw them live, and it was a high
And Saturday, something I don't do oft
Watch a 'tribute' band - Absolute Bowie
Sounds potentially fun, fake oddity
Not done much today, just watched films and stuffed
My face! Well yesterday was mainly beer!

3285 -Beer googles

I've been out in Glossop, it was good fun
And now I'm back watching Match of the Day
Pint after pint, and laughs with some women
The sun came out and it became wa-hay
Breasts were on show, it was worth it, I'd say
Now I'm back home, Newcastle struggling
How come Maclaren's their coach, was Derby
But we sacked him cos he lost it, moving
To the Magpies, now Swansea are beating
Them. Beer rules all, it's all one, it's all one
Stood in the beer garden nonsense held sway
Although some woman was really interesting
In her leather jacket, it's good to learn
From her, and I did, now back home, wa-hay

3284 - Taking a raincheck

What a wet day, the rain's gone on and on!
So much so that there's now a giant hole
In the Mancunian Way, please don't fall in!
The rain's enough to make of us a mole
Burying ourselves deep down like lumps of coal
It's eased off now, and the weather forecast
For the weekend's OK, so I will roll
Up at Piccadilly station, half-past
Twelve tomorrow, with a big group, a taste
Of beer and the Glossop folk train to come!
Should be fun, while Jo's in Spain and I'm all
At a loss for what to do these two Sats
Last week, Huddersfield, this week, Glossop. Fun
And beer are intertwined, be still, my soul!

3283 - New men in town

Derby have had a woeful beginning
To the season with new coach Paul Clement
Last night we lost to Portsmouth, the Carling
Cup, first round, mid-August, yes, we were sent
Packing with ease, the Rams a team that's meant
To be promotion favourites, Portsmouth bossed
The game. apparently, thank God didn't
Watch it down the pub, all alone and lost
In the Salford Arms TV room. We're toast!
Meanwhile, the Labour leadership's coming
To a head, three would-be leaders hell-bent
On trashing Jeremy Corbyn, the most
Persuasive of the four, too left-leaning
For a Labour man. Shocking! Jez - repent!

3282 - Pyramid theme

Had thought maybe I'd go and watch Derby
Play in the Carling Cup, but think I'll stay
In instead, on the radio there'll be
Updates at least, and maybe I can pay
Attention to writing comedy. They
Have asked for a theme that doesn't inspire -
Egypt or belly dancing - I won't say
I'll ignore the theme, cos I am a tryer
But Ancient Egypt, I am not a buyer
I could do an anecdote 'bout belly
Dancing - remember Istanbul? - but hey
Not sure if anecdotes are my desire
At least of alcohol and fags I'm free
Til I go to Glossop this Saturday

3281 - Strum and dusted

Looking forward to a guitar session
Tonight, had a good 'un last night playing
Beach Boys, and there's more of the same to come
It really pays dividends, practising
Well not literally but know my meaning
Can routinely play now quite well without
Feeling a need to slow down by looking
We don't look when we walk, don't think about
It, talk casually, look around, chill out
As we stroll almost mindlessly along
That's what I want when I'm stood there strumming
No effort required, very little thought
And won't be satisfied til I am one
Of that ilk, able to chat, joke or sing