Although it's Word War One, think I'll stay in
And watch a game with Louis, not done that
In a while, plus it's cold outside, shiv'rin'
Out there's not a prospect that flats my bat
Oh God, I think before long I'll have shat
Got the urge to evacuate bowels
Never quite sure when I write words like that
You know, bowels, one or two syllables?
Soon I'll wipe my bottom with paper towels
Hope this ain't too gross, hope you're not eatin'
This last week's seen two anti-Jewish spats
Or storms in teacups maybe, two big fools
From the football world, Balotelli and
Whelan, both of them are a pair of klutz
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