Time is so linear, easy to follow
Unlike the streets of Cheadle Hulme or Hulme
Or an amazing maze, Hampton Court, oh!
Don't go there, or it's -iliation, hum
Sweep logic away with old Occam's broom
Watching TV, Casualty's got Charlie
Still nursing after all these years of gloom
He must enjoy it, I guess, though why he
Does? Oh, but it's cheap fiction, quite silly
I wish I had a French stick, avec l'eau
Non, avec vin, mais tant pis, I assume
It's more like fish fingers tonight for me
I feel like a Teletubby, and Po
Is the one I'd be, right here in this room!
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