I've been to a place people just don't go
It's called Leicester (and that's pronounced 'Lester')
It's near a place called Derby that you'll know
And also near Nottingham - heard of there?
Robin Hood and all that? But Leicester? Well -
I don't know what there is to say. It's fair
To say that Walkers Crisps come from there - hell
I spose they qualify as crisps, just. Smell
Them and you don't smell spuds, taste buds don't flow
Ecstatic with juice at such brittle fare
On a work trip, bought some crisps but I failed
To get a receipt. Shit. Can I claim now
For my crap lunch of crisps bought in Leicester
Or will expenses tell me, Go to Hell!?
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