Tuesday 27 May 2014

2842 - Making puns for Nigel

A longish day at work, popped out at lunch
To help Louis get credit at the bank
Tried the Post Office as well, but it's crunch
Time for youngsters as jobs are few, a thank-
less task it is searching for openings
And in the meantime credit's hard to get
As for me now, I must get to thinking
Of funny stuff - it's comedy tonight
Last time I raided my joke book. Might yet
Do that tonight, but I've also an urge
To do something topical concerning
Our 'friend' Farage and UKIP. Need to kit
Myself out in a tie, though, and to scrunch
My mitts round a pint, hope mind's not a blank

Monday 26 May 2014

2841 - May flies by

And so May Bank Holiday's at an end
Didn't go out today, but did stuff here
Read 'Bleak House,' the long novel by Dickens
And still some way to go to the end, dear
(Who's dear? No-one, dear, that was just a clear
Cop-out rhyme, like bad poetry demands)
Read through the poems I've to read in four
Minutes this Wednesday night, I understand
I'm on the bill, according to Roland
Though not mentioned on Facebook! Hope to mend
This omission, confirm I'm needed there
Also finished my Beeb first draft as planned
Meanwhile tomorrow, comedy again
At the King's Arms. Some UKIP stuff, I fear...

Sunday 25 May 2014

2840 - Apple pi phone

Showers in May, we need them, so thank you
Went to Manchester with Jo, Arndale stroll
She looked at Hype bags, heard of them, have you?
I'd not, til today, but it seems that all
Her friends are getting them, and also call
People with the i-Phone 5, soon it's 6
Thus corporations keep us in their thrall
With their new releases, marketing tricks
I resisted Jo's efforts, but bought books
Instead for her, and I bought me a new
Green anorak from River Island! Mall
Wandering done, went to Wilmslow Starbucks
Not Costa this time. Walked her home, then stewed
Half an hour waiting for the train home. S'all.

Saturday 24 May 2014

2839 - Looking back on the future

I'm writing this earlier than yesterday
No, later, no earlier, oh you know what
I mean. It's later IN TIME, quite clearly
But THE TIME's earlier now than when I sat
Writing late last night trying to concentrate
While drunk, with Dylan on my 'phones, but now
I can do that sort of thing, even late
My brain's able to cope with it somehow
Fast forward to the future, speed the plough
Back to today, and unlucky Derby
They lost 1-0 to QPR, a shot
That was the Hoops' only one hit below
The bar or between the posts. You know, hey
Does it really matter? No - I'm over it!

2837 - Both sides of Dylan now

Here I am, 3:15 on Friday night
Been out on the town with Nance and Dermot
Listening to Dylan on headphones, I write
It's easy when you know how, or know not
Hope I can read this tomorrow, a lot
Of hope there, it may be hope that's misplaced
But I hope not, I hope all's in the pot
And that when all's done, I won't be disgraced
In life you mustn't go too fast, be paced
You can plumb the depths and can hit the heights
Life can be cold and life can be red hot
These things can be avoided or be faced
Until the end you never quite know quite
So I'll end shortly with that timely thought

Fri 23 May very late when drunk and listening to 'Another Side of Bob Dylan'

Thursday 22 May 2014

2836 - The cold light of day

The cold lingers on. Got some sleep at least
Despite waking at five for half an hour
No drink til Friday, that won't be a feast
Of booze either, I just cannot devour
The stuff just yet, dehydrated and poor-
ly. Saving a bit of money. I wrote
More script after work, yes, somehow wrote more
And now I've done thirty pages, almost
Got the final main scene to write, the most
Likely time being Monday. I'll have ceased
Gadding about, it will be in my power
To finish and type it up. Getting close
Now to the deadline, in June, so I'd best
Work hard and meet it. My pen is a tower!

Wednesday 21 May 2014

2835 - My regeneration

Absolutely cream-crackered-amundo
Not only do I still have a bad cold
Still? It just started a few hours ago!
But I woke at five-thirty, and I failed
To get back to sleep! No, my dozes tailed
Off in the broad daylight of my late spring room
I can expect more of this. The light trails
Into the flickering eyes and brain, a broom
Sweeping away, not cobwebs, it's too soon
For them, but regeneration - Oh no!
Cut off, cut off! Still, early to work, rolled
Up and surprised 'em. Thought they'd turned to loon
No doubt, when they saw me turn up, and sooooo
Damn early! Thank God, now this tale is told!

Tuesday 20 May 2014

2834 - Who nose?

From somewhere I have developed a cold
So I've not bought beer or anything bad
Just chatted to Nic, first time for age-old
And before that, wrote a few pages at
The Salford Arms, for next to nothing. Had
A 50p cup of coffee, sugar
Too, a special treat. I've managed to add
About 10 pages last two evenings. Ah -
I know redrafts will be needed, else there
Will be wasted ideas. Characters fold
On the hastily written script, it's sad
How they may never be unearthed. Should care
Enough to do it write. Work hard. I'm told
It's the best way. Don't be a lump of lard!

Monday 19 May 2014

2833 - The Oldcastle diaries part two

Just in case I forget that I have done
Oldcastle diaries part one, I will do
To follow on from these diaries part one
Oldcastle diaries, oh yes, part two
After work tonight, I tried something new
I went down the road to the Salford Arms
And tried writing there. At first there were few
Noises or distractions, and no alarms
Or surprises, and lines got wrote. Then harm
Came to the literary operation
They started playing tunes, I sneezed, and ooh!
Beer flew from my nose, and this nosey foam
Landed on my manuscript pages. Gone
Were my ideas, but I wiped them dry. Phew!

Sunday 18 May 2014

2832 - The Oldcastle Diaries part one

I've been in most of the day. New chair bought
From Staples to replace the old red one
With the crack in. I also bought new pots
And pans. The old ones had rusted, were nine
Years old. Pleasingly, wrote some script again
For my BBC children's idea. And
I'm free to continue tomorrow when
Work is done. Might try the Salford Arms. In
The Central Library, space just can't be found
Students prepping for exams, I'd have thought
I've got some funny characters this time
Which if the Beeb say no I could send round
Theatres and the like, try to get it put
On somewhere. It deserves exposition

2831 - Manchester Castle Magic

It's been a sunny day, a nice warm sun
A clear sky, stayed out late, then it got cool
First off, met Josie, went to Decathlon
Bought her a skateboard, on which she's no fool
She got good at it in Stockport and all
The way home. Met Nancy in Manchester
Predictably we went to The Castle
And the strange thing was, though I drank some beer
I never got drunk. Switched from the porter
To Titanic. Got wi-fi on my phone
There, which over time should prove real useful
Can sit in the room or the yard, confer
With folk on Facebook, Twitter - what fun
It's now 4:30 a.m. Birdsong rules

Sat 17 May

Friday 16 May 2014

2830 - These charming men

Sunshine! Too hot to even wear a coat!
I know it's mid-May but I've been changing
Back into my winter coat, had to float
In clothing terms between seasons and swing
One way, then another, never knowing
Just which way to go. Tonight I'll just stay
In, maybe connect on social networking
Sites, as I've been busy this week. But why
Does Twitter not allow me to post my
Snapshots? What's wrong? Morrissey did a tweet
The other day, so now I'm following
Him, and Andy Rourke. But didn't obey
The call of Johnny Marr! I read about
Him in the Moz autobiog. Charming!

Thursday 15 May 2014

2829 - Do the write thing!

Had hoped to go writing when work was done
But the library was full, could not find seats
It was a hot day, it gets everyone
Out, I guess, looking to enjoy the heat
Lots of students at the tables, or sat
With friends chatting. I returned home and cooked
Louis went out to see his mum. He's got
A contact centre job, a bit of luck
But won't get paid for a month, so he'll look
For a loan, maybe, to help him along
I was tired by this time, not much was writ
By me tonight. Did ironing, and a fuck
Load of texting. Watched that Michael Palin
In Hungary, where I'll soon walk the streets!

Wednesday 14 May 2014

2828 - The guilt trip page

It's been a hectic day, hectic, hectic
Also a nice day, sunny and springlike
The things I've done today could make me sick
If I was in Nausea by Sartre. A pike
Is a fish with sharp teeth, you wouldn't like
A nip from him, but I'd like a nip or
Two from a beer bottle to take the spike
Out of this life, slow things down, so I'll pour
It down, unlike the rain that's eased off for
Our pleasure. Measuring things by yardsticks
I'd say this last week's been good, open mic-
Wise and friendwise, though I've spent a bit more
Than I'd like, for example, on plane tick-
ets. Guilt trips and holidays are alike

2827 - What happened today?

Today dragged a bit at work, but happy
Enough, I guess. Got home, put together
A few jokes for tonight, was comedy
Night at the King's Arms, I go whenever
I can and did quite well, though as ever
It's easier reading from a page, I find
And more fun, less tension, if less clever
But my memory's crap. Where is my mind?
I can write the stuff easy, not consign
It to my brain, that's hard enough for me
And time is short to put stuff together
Nonetheless I'm getting there, doing fine
And having a pretty good time, mainly
And I hope to have more of that, please sir!

Tue 13 May

Monday 12 May 2014

2826 - Norman's wisdom

It's been a really good day, good evening
After work, I went down to the Eagle
It was a groovy poetry night, reading
A poem I wrote while there, my mind was full
Before the beers kicked in and made a fool
Of me, as they'll do now, but I don't care
This has been life-affirming, it's been cool
Into life's ugly face I will now stare
And have wisdom, humour beyond compare
Deal with it, oh you peeps, you start dealing
With reality, things that are, life's full
Of disappointment, surely I've been there
But as it goes on, it keeps improving
And now, fuck you, life, things are going well

2825 - The Konak, and how to get it

It's been a fun weekend, I've enjoyed it
A long weekend, cos I took Friday off
Spent writing, need to work more on that script
Saturday, went out dancing at the Trof
Avoided Eurovision, aural barf
Today went  to see Josie in Wilmslow
Gammon at the Konak Cafe we stuffed
Our faces with. Back in time for the show
Of Derby beating Brighton, go go go
To the  play-off final at Wembley. At
The Etihad, City won the league, chuffed
Blue half of Manchester. Played guitar so
Well, then watched footy highlights. Now to hit
The sack with 'Bleak House.' It's good night,with love!

Sun 11 May

Saturday 10 May 2014

2824 - Hungary for you

Quick sonnet here now on this afternoon
Rain falls then stops outside, shower season
I need to see what's on tonight quite soon
And also Easyjet's Hungarian
Flights in July, time for preparation
For that holiday break to Budapest
I've got a travel book about it, it's been on
My shelf for months, but now I must invest
Some time and energy to see the best
Things to do there. I'll visit Miklos then
And we'll go to a festival. Was on
The beer again last night with John, discussed
The Greece and Albania trip. Should be fun
Walking the hills, then we're Tirana bound

2823 - Write on

Off work today, and I'd like to think that
It was well used. Went to the library
Bought a cappuccino and found a seat
Where I wrote a few pages that made me
Laugh, but remember that the BBC
Doesn't like jokes, it prefers characters
I've thought of lots of funny names to me
But does anyone else care, really? Does
Anyone else give a shit? My own buzz
Means nothing unless some middle-class twat
Likes it, and why should they, when I am the
Very thing they oppose? Yes, they oppose
Racism and so on, implying that
I am what they oppose. Goodnight from me!

Friday 9 May (quite drunk when I wrote this!!)

Thursday 8 May 2014

2822 - Brighton later

It's a rainy spell, lasting several days
Well we need some, I spose we can't complain
My jacket with the hood's back. Had a phase
Of wearing my new lighter jacket, stayin'
In Paris last month, but the rain might stain
It, plus my head keeps getting wet, you know
Tonight Derby play Brighton, so I'm prayin'
For play-off first leg victory that shows
The rest we're goin' up to the main show
In world football, the Premier League. Some praise
Will be due, if we do, to MacLaren
The Wally with the Brolly, since he rose
From the grave back to earth, can he now raise
Himself to heaven? Rams all bleat his name!

Wednesday 7 May 2014

2821 - The tenant of Wildfell Flat

A long day, early rise, did ironing
To work still earlyish, stayed til almost
Six, met Nancy as the rain was falling
Got the bus to Bury when were were close
To getting soaked. Fortunately, mine host
The tenant was there, let us in, sour-faced
Nancy went over things, he acted most
Unhelpfully, he signed the plan she placed
In front of him, but talking seemed a waste
Of time at times. Caught bus, meandering
Its way through Salford. I could almost boast
Of how hungry I felt then. We made haste
To the cheap place on the corner, scoffing
Fish and chips and kebab. Time for repose!

Tuesday 6 May 2014

2820 - Writing in the Reading Room

Woke up early and took time to decide
Whether to take the day off or go in
It's not my cold, although today I'm tired
The 12th of May's a BBC deadline
For Writer's Room comedy submissions
But it's too late to write 30 pages
No chance, but I noticed another one
Next month for children's stuff that maybe is
Do-able, with my recent short stories
All being in childlike vein, humorous side
To them that folk like, like my last reading
Took today off, realised the library's
A good place to create ideas and write
Was productive, but script not yet begun

2819 - Here's the beef

Bank Holiday Monday, unexpected
Day out with Nic, we went to Hebden Bridge
Ate at The Old Gate, like days departed
While there it was fine, it was not a fridge
And with Nic for company, it's not tradge-
ic, not with Nic - that girl, she is so great
Friends is fine, but she looks just like a madge-
ic pixie, sometimes tricks me. Had a plate
Of beef sandwich with gravy. Would donate
Some to that big grey hound acting ill-fed
But the owner said No thanks. Then we trudged
Back to the car with big glass bowl we placed
Gingerly in the small boot. At hers, met
The housemate again. Lift home. No porridge!

Mon 5 May

2818 - Me, you and a dog named ... who?

It's late, but not real late, sadly that's true
I hoped it might be later, but it's not
Been out with Dermot, Nancy, Nic and you
No, not you, you weren't there, you silly clot
But forgive me, it's my fault, not your fault
The Castle, as usual, was the venue
At first it was quite empty, then a lot
Of people were there, not too bad, a queue
At the bar, but lots of folk outside, who
Were chatting. A guy with two dogs, a few
Others, some had seen me read lines, my slot
Went well, cos it was good, Nic thought so too
Now she's gone, I'm back home alone, boo hoo
I need to sort it so I'm not forgot

Sun 4 May

Saturday 3 May 2014

2817 - Airports of the mind

Feel a bit better, but still tickly throat
Woke after a weird disorienting dream
Dreamt I was with others in an airport
Then took a wrong turn, lost my things, mindscream
Found my way back to the main hall, I'd seen
The info desk, but it was all hopeless
Then I woke up thinking it must have been
Quite late, checked the new bedroom clock, and yes!
It's only eight a.m. The dream's distress
Turned to relaxation. Saturday sport
No need to go out. Writing is the theme
And main agenda item. I'll address
It this morning. Now I don't mean to gloat
But I'm writing well - got a write good scheme

Friday 2 May 2014

2816 - Call me maybe

I'm tired again, this cold saps energy
Work went well, at home wrote a short story
Played guitar for a bit, then cooked my tea
Nothing special, a normal day, you see
But it's boring to talk just about me
Besides, I got a call from the lovely
N, who suggested going out with me
This evening. I declined but that's only
Because I'm sick and ill like Morrissey
Hopefully we'll be meeting up Sunday
There'll be two Ns, a D, and Dale Lately
But first I've got to write some poetry
I hope by then I can drink copiously
And stay out late. Next day's Bank Holiday!

Thursday 1 May 2014

2815 - Write-off

I'm bloody knackered, late night, no lie-in
Alarm set for 8:30, work calling
Had crumpets with Nance, we walked into town
Somehow worked til 5:30, finishing
Some draft guidance. Home. Shaved, then ironing
I cooked, and now this sonnet. Next, I'll watch
A film, Pitch Perfect. It's entertaining
I hope, or else I may before long catch
My eyes closing, plot-losing, which is such
A frustrating waste of time. I'll begin
Shortly, then hopefully there's no staying
Up late for me tonight. There'll be no scratch
Of pen on paper. Don't feel like struggling
To do creative stuff, no, no writing!

2814 - From Buffet City to The Castle

My cold still hasn't gone, tried drinking beer
Tonight but didn't really work for me
After work, met up with N, it was clear
And sunny then. Met in the library
Where I'd begun a little short story
(Chocolatey Claire, inspired by eclairs)
At first we went for a Chinese buffet
Stuffed our faces, as you'd expect, while there
Then to The Castle pub, where we prepared
To watch performance poetry and cheer
On Dermot, who went on last, good to see
Him get a good reception. N. missed her
Train home, so stayed at mine tonight, now we're
About to say good night. Good night from me!

Wed 30 April