2524 - Write on cue

Hey hey I woke up early, wrote some stuff
Before going to work, it's good doing that
Might do it again when not feeling rough
The brain works fastest then, it's far more smart
Had arranged to go out tonight, but not
Going, it's too cold out for my liking
And Tom's not going either, he has got
Somewhere else to go to, less travelling
For him, it's in Liverpool where he sings
Quite often. Meanwhile, I'm happy enough
A date has been set up after a chat
On Facebook. Not sure when it's happening
But I can't wait for it and that's the truth
I'm tired now so I'll read, then early night...

2523 - Gotta lotta bottle

A quick sonnet, and then off to my bed
Been working hard these last few days, yes sir
After work, walked to the post office, got
A parcel for Josie's birthday, then a
Few bottles from Sainsburys in time for
Man City away at Spurs. Tried to write
A poem, 'People,' but time ran out. There
Will be more time to come to expedite
This super wordplay that will thrill them quite
Off out tomorrow with Tom, so I said
Then the night after, a work do, a stir
To celebrate three birthdays, dynamite
Stuff at Castlefield restaurant, Albert's Shed
Now sandwich-making time, then bed for sure

2522 - News from New Street

Woke up when the alarm started to play
And I became more alarmed then when I
Couldn't turn the thing off! Piccadilly
Station in the rain, still dark, wet pants, my
Seat on the train to Birmingham, early
Too early. Once again, big rebuilding
Works in the centre of that large city
Short walk to Norfolk House for the meeting
About meters and how they're measuring
The flow of oil. Stayed awake all the day
Until the train home, when I shut some eye
But also read some Grahame Greene. Catching
The Metroshuttle, home in time to see
Some football in the evening with Louis

2521 - Madonna wins a Granny Award

The Grammy Awards took place yesterday
Evening in LA. They had The Beatles
(Er, well the surviving two anyway)
Madonna (I'm not mad on her) pootles
About in a white suit (yuk), like Michael
Jackson or Whitney Houston used to do
Beyonce and Jay Z, married couple
Appeared with a flourish, opened the show
Macklemore packed in more gongs than you'd know
Daft Punk kept on their helmets while they played
With Nile Rodgers, Stevie Wonder, Pharrell's
Inevitable involvement, ho ho
(He's 'Happy' you see, number one today)
Not sure why they liked Lorde's crap song, 'Royals'

2520 - The more you ignore us, the closer we get

Read 200 pages of Morrissey
Today - that is the main thing I have done
Soon out into the cold for comedy
Not a show, but to try to think up some
New ideas, new jokes and new directions
The fun of the blank sheet, blue sky thinking
The unchained nature of new creation
Especially two minds reacting, doubling
The input, so hopefully resulting
In pushing further back the boundary
Of what could be thought up by anyone
New year, new start, stepping up by standing
On last year's experiments, frequently
Eyebrow-raising, memorable even then

2519 - Dark sky blues

Today the sky was dark, heavy with rain
As Josie and me caught the train to town
On it were lots of City fans again
We've seen that before as we've headed down
To Manchester to shop. Some kids goin'
Probably cheap cos it's a Cup match. It
Is Josie's birthday next Friday. Went round
Selfridges and the Arndale quite a lot
But she wasn't sure just what she should get
For her present. Got lip balm, but the main
Item she chose was a grey top she found
In Superdry. Today I really thought
She had grown since last week! Such rapid change
And growth! On the train back, City again
Crowd on board, but I don't know if they won

2518 - Tuna the week

A strange day at work, heart murmurs from Dave
A talk from Ian Stewart up from London
During which I managed to raise a laugh
About tuna, and so the day went on
Now I'm home and a bottle is open
(Beer, not wine), Come Dine With Me is showing
Celebrity Big Brother's still to come
Tomorrow I'm out with Josie shopping
Her birthday's a week today, she's turning
Eleven! Monkfish again? Do we have
To have that this year? Seems it's always on
The menu nowadays. Sea bass going
Out of style, it seems. Well, now I must save
This poem and see which twat wins the grand!

2517 - Moz, LOL

A relaxing night is on the cards. I'll
Be good, read, go to bed early, and doze
Happily, unaware of the whole while
Going on around, while my dreamworld shows
Scenes set in the past, but which, heaven knows
Never actually happened. That reminds
Me of what I'm reading, and it's what those
Pesky workmates bought me. Somebody found
It in Waterstones maybe, and it's bound
To be my cup of tea, they thought. I smile
When I think how quick this is to bulldoze
Through after Dickens and big books all round
No, this is Morrissey's story, with piles
Of local streets I know mentioned. Go, Moz!

2516 - United, LOL, Moyes, LOL

A quick one as it's late, just been watching
Manchester United lose once again
To Sunderland, at Old Trafford. Laughing
With Lou at the Reds' humiliation
Welbeck is fuckin' crap, and if England
Pick him for the World Cup Squad in Brazil
(That's if they've any stadiums there as planned)
We'll be lucky even to last until
The second group match. Gus Poyet was thrilled
But I could not believe them all missing
Those penalties. Not seen such shit since when
England last took them. Well, that was a real
Blast, and it followed on from my playing
Some mean guitar to Spotify again

2515 - Pub snub

Looking forward to a pub night tonight
The King's Arms, it's fortnightly comedy
I'm going to go through my joke book and write
Out some choice cuts to create jollity
A cunning scheme, meaning I can stay free
From thinking new stuff up, memorising
I don't like reading from a page, but they
All do it, don't they, their heads inclining
Down to the page or book that they're clasping
Yes, back to clique-land, comedy of spite
Twas ever thus, though, personality
And intellectually challenged, they cling
To sponsors or mates. What they don't get right
Is being what they want to be - funny!

2514 - Pistachi Ocean Blue

A strangely relaxed day, though must hurry
With what I'm doing, as there's a deadline
Discovered pistachio nuts, a lovely
Snack at the office desk, salty and fine
Still plenty left in the pack til next time
Forgot gravy granules on the way home
Remembered the other things though that I'm
Almost out of. Boring neighbours. Alone
For now, Louis is holed up in his room
Tonight I've got to choose some comedy
For tomorrow at the King's Arms. I'll find
Something in my big joke book, I assume
This is a loud track, though it has to be
The washing machine's on in the kitchen

2513 - Birthday boy

It's been a good day, Louis' 24th
Birthday, spent with him and his mum in town
It's a crossroads for Louis - he goes forth
Looking for a new job, new housemates, soon
I will miss him when he leaves, but he's grown
While here, hopefully, not that I'm a role
Model par excellence, let myself down
Sometimes, but I've done better than my old
Man did for me, I think. We got to roll
With it, take our time, etc - good grief!
Here's to many more times when he comes round
Or we meet up in groups to bare our soul
Or even better, have a right good laugh
For what's the point wasting time with a frown?

2512 - Love to you

It's my birthday - hurray! It's fun getting
Old, well better than the alternative!
It's weird being alive in '14, seeming
To belong to the First World War, to live
In someone else's era, to survive
So long through the decades when my era
Was the 70s / early 80s, with
Glam. prog, new wave, reggae etc
We've come such a long way, we've come so far
Yet although it might seem self-deceiving
There's still so much to come, so much to give
Here's to all those lovely folk that's out there
Here's to lots of fun, lots of travelling
Lots of laughter, and of course, lots more love!

2511 - Good and bad

Life sometimes sadly gets turned into war
The aggressor in those cases must be
Opposed for the sake of right, not might, or
It's a jungle, a battlefield, bloody
Malicious and unthinking. That's not me
And is not what I grew up to accept
Nonetheless, if some selfish somebody
Insists in immorality, it rests
On me and all of us to do our best
In harsh circumstances that we abhor
To try to rectify that malady
In this, I'm being true to souls at rest
Now but who suffered at the hands of poor
Decisions in the past, so frequently

2510 - Come whine with me

I just want to go to bed, close my eyes
And drift off to sleep, awake lots last night
Today's been okay though, quite a surprise
Was expecting more tension, though that might
Still be on the horizon. Now, tonight
Am watching a repeat Come Dine With Me
A programme in which diners reveal spite
And poor cooking skills quite regularly
National humiliation - that's for me!
They seem to say in entering for the prize
Of just one thousand pounds, a rather slight
Inducement, but then to get on TV
And show off's what they dream of as they lie
In bed, but rarely does it turn out right!

2509 - Friends

You know who your friends are in times like these
Most people will kick sand, dust in your face
If you're on the ground, though you try to please
Them while you're there, in that sad dusty place
Like walking by some unlucky homeless
While maintaining the pose that they still care
They look to themselves, conserve resources
Abandon you with a smile, they don't share
Or console, empathise, don't want to wear
Your dusty clothes, want to be a princess
And all that entails in life's greedy race
They ration kindness, know life isn't fair
But as long as they're not down, your disease
Is quarantined. Heal thyself, say the nice

2508 - Scandal roundup

I turned on the news, and what did I see?
Four trials of famous people, two three four
Sexual offences composed the first three
Ken Barlow was first through the courtroom door
Next it was DLT accused of more
And then, briefly, Rolf Harris - gooday, mate
Rebekah Brooks, newspaper editor
Brought up the rear. Did the Brookses pervert
The course of justice, as alleged? Let's wait
And see. At the Palais de l'Elysee
Francois Hollande, le President, is floored
By sexual scandal. Wife recuperates
En hopital, a Paris. Merde! Paris!
Nous arriverons la en printemps, alors

2507 - It's not all good

Out til two last night, it was a good night
The poetry went down well, I thought it would
Met a nice girl too, she knew me by sight
And she reminded me we had chatted
Before in that very same pub's back yard
I remembered her then, she's an artist
Maybe we'll meet more before time has sped
Back to today, although without much rest
I bombed through my workload, while talk near ceased
I sense tension, though why, really not quite
Sure. Is it to do with me, or just hard
Work being done, with pressures now increased
On people to reach objectives? The plight
Will worsen soon, I fear things won't be good

2506 - Rhyming schlong

Off out this evening, first time for some time
I'll read some poetry, no need to compose
New pieces, for I have a trusted rhyme
Fairly long in length, in which wordage flows
Good for live reading, not too pretentious
Reasonably funny, think all can relate
The advantage of that intention is
The pressure's off, I can relax till eight
And needn't get worried about stage fright
Or poor performance, forgetting a line
No, instead, it should be fun, getting those
Pints in, not too much, Sunday, can't stay late
Me and Dermot will not therefore combine
But will read separately, impress who goes

2505 - Underwater sports

Day out with Josie, swimming in Stockport
Because the baths in Wilmslow are boring
But from Wilmslow baths vending machine, bought
Some cool black goggles. Now when I'm swimming
My eyes don't hurt, specially when I'm crawling
We swam a few lengths, that was the best part
But also as usual did some sliding
Down the tubes, jacuzzi, messing about
But swimming is really good for the heart
And lungs and arm strength. Was pleased how I hauled
Myself out of the pool with such a spring
My arms are strong, that's exercise's art
And all that walking too. Saturday night
Is now for relaxation and drinking!

2504 - Rams shackled

I've just watched Derby get beat by Leicester
In the big East Midlands football derby
Derby, sadly, got beat good and proper
The Foxes out-foxed the Rams, rammed not three
But four goals past Lee Grant, poor grunting Lee
Picking the ball out all those times. Meanwhile
Peter Schmeichel's son Caspar, he hardly
Had any saves to make. No clean sheet smile
For him, though, 4-1 the end of our trial
Next up, the Rams play Brighton at home where
We must start winning again. I think we
Will fail to get a top two spot, but still
We'll be in the play-offs and in with a
Chance of promotion. So, come on Derby!

2503 - Little Dorrit

I'm currently reading 'Little Dorrit'
By Charles Dickens, and though it's long, of course
Like when I read 'Nicholas Nickleby' it
Is really engaging me. It's like verse
In prose, there's so much in each line. How does
He do it, and maintain it for that long?
I don't know, but to do that, he just must
Be able to write natural and strong
In real time, as his brain thinks like birdsong
Instinctive, beautiful sound, quickly writ
And with immense wit throughout, and discourse
Social, political, all things are brung
Clothes, rooms, characters, manners that predate
The camera, thought development process

2502 - Some people

Some people are just friendly, some are not
I can't be bothered if they're not, but I
Am forgiving if they change, I know what
A strain it can be to be friendly, why
Though, who knows, since it seems better to try
To get on than hop off the old love train
And fall prey to fear and suspicion, spy
Rather than engage, rather than use brain
Or empathy, out of the cocoon strain
As if we should all be the same, then plot
How to isolate the reject, bye bye
Happiness for the individual, fry
All your eggs in one pan, just one basket
Of humanity, caskets where dead souls lie

2501 - United Divided

Staying in tonight, probably. Might watch
The match, United versus Sunderland
That's Man United I refer to, natch
Formerly the top team in Eng-er-land
But since Ferguson retired, stuck on land
And unable to take off - such a shame ;(
Tomorrow, Man City versus West Ham
These are two tasty semi-final games
In the League Cup this year. It's not the same
Now that United are just not a patch
On their old selves. It's not going as planned
For Moyes. The debate asks, Is he to blame?
Meanwhile, if the Rams win match after match
Who knows, they might reach Premier wonderland!

2500 - The late late show

Two thousand five hundred - what a milestone
That's how many daily sonnets I've done
Each one a fourteen line poem, each one
A summary of my day under sun
And moon, and very often it's been moon
What with lots of late nights and having fun
It could still be better, got to press on
If riches can't be mine, then some things can
And one of them is living in this land
Another's having a permanent band
Playing in my head. And there's my quick hands
Almost able to reproduce the sounds
In my head. And there's odd glimpses of fans
They pop up like mirages in the sand

2499 - High-heeled shockers

Rang Josie, the doc said it's ligaments
She damaged when running in high-heeled shoes
Three days ago in Tesco. Though still ten
She can wear grown-up size shoes now. You lose
Balance easily though, then you can bruise
Or snap or break something. Pearl and Vera
Are both veterans of that, with less excuse
But if I wore high-heels, I'd discover
Perhaps how tricky to walk in they are
(But Josie, never run in them! Use sense!)
Stayed at home, couldn't make Jo walk. The Blues
Of Chelsea beat the Rams, no walkover
Mourinho and MacLaren best of friends
It seems! And now, tea-time is getting close

2498 - Tales of brave Tony

I don't believe it, I forgot again
To write my sonnet diary yesterday
Evening pub crawl planned, I should have written
It in the afternoon. As it was, strayed
From the intended pub crawl, had to say
Hello to comedy partner Dermot
Just back that morning from Alicante
Went to The Castle pub instead, and not
To the Marble Arch, where the crawl should start
We both joined the group, however, quite soon
At the refurbished Turk's Head drinking den
Full it was, upstairs and down. Thomas Street
(Number 57) was chock full, then
The Castle, then Crown & Kettle, last stay

about Saturday 4 January

2497 - Hobble, bubble, toil and trouble

It's Pearl's 26th birthday, we went out
To the 1847 Bistro
Near the Art Gallery, amusing eat
Most of the group had nibbles, it was so
Vegetarian, it was hard to know
What to order, but managed in the end
Poor Vera was on crutches, so was slow
Of movement, as was her mother. I sent
Out for a taxi, found one quickly, then
Piled in with difficulty. To her flat
Then me and Louis walked home. Had to go
To a takeaway en route home! Good fun
Seeing Grandma again. Daisy said that
I was like Basil Fawlty! Oh dear, no!

2496 - Hurry for a curry

Worked pretty hard, a good attention span
Because I'd had a really good night's rest
So here we are again, once more in Jan
And tomorrow, Pearl will be 26
Tonight, though, I met her for a real test
Of stomach capacity in Rusholme
(Manchester's curry mile). So many fast
Food places there now, me and Pearl we roamed
Up and down looking for curry. We found
Ourselves rejecting the Mughli. We've been
There a few times for curry in the past
But it's sold its soul, so we moved our bums
To Spicy Hut. You can eat all you can
There for far less, and then just catch the bus

2495 - Day in, day out

Simple day at home, in between days out
Reading Charles Dickens' 'Little Dorrit'
Recuperating from New Year's Eve at
The somewhat tidied-up home of Janet
Enjoying the attentions of a cat
Or two - no pussy jokes, that would be shit
Drank Guinness, ate crisps and just had a chat
While the year changed numbers from this to that
Louis is in London and so my flat
Just has me in it, but it's not quite quiet
Playing a 90s compilation, hit
After hit from a decade that's now quite
A long way back in time. Thinking I might
Play guitar along to it in a bit