2309 - Catch me if you can

I'm staying in on New Year's Eve - are you?
Currently wondering whether to get drink
While I wonder, here is a chance to do
Today's sonnet - well, the remembering
Is not so good these days, I keep missing
Them and having to write two. The film is
'Catch Me If You Can,' it's my first viewing
Though it's now ten years old and more. The year's
Ending, 2012 was mixed, it had highs
And lows like Frank in this film. Nothing's true
Like Frank's words, all words have little meaning
And yet words are beautiful, they caress
The ears and mind like waves from sea so blue
Like our own thoughts, soothing and receding

2308 - A day in the life of Pi

A busy day, got up quite late, then had
To wash some clothes and dry them before I
Went out to the hired car, leaving Salford
By the footbridge, to where it was parked by
The new flats on Ellesmere Street. Blink of eye
Took me to Josie in Wilmslow, then drove
To Manchester again where by and by
Met Pearl for lunch at a place where they gave
Me and Jo spicy sausages - I loved
Them but they were too hot for Jo. Knutsford
Is our fave place to go - Oxfam, then Ye
Old Sweet Shoppe, Waterstone's, and then time proved
Its fleeting nature, dropped both girls home. Good
Cinema trip with Louis - Life of Pi

2307 - Yesterday is gone

Yesterday's gone, a day I didn't post
Even though I was online most of it
I was wrapped up in Facebook, and the cost
To sonnetry is dear, I forgot it
Lots of exciting footy, nets being hit
Every few seconds, Norwich / Man City
Live on the radio that served to excite
Man United won, they have no pity
They seem destined to come top - how shitty
On Facebook I slagged Ferguson off most
And lots agreed, though one Red fan, nitwit
Defended him, but the nitty gritty
Of all his crimes were generally exposed
The consensus - he's a prat, and a twit

2306 - In your bass

Been home all day apart from a quick trip
With Louis to Maplins, where some advice
Proved fortuitous. A salesman made me hip
To not needing new speakers. It was nice
To simply connect mp3 device
To my laptop speakers and sub-woofer
And after a while without, got my bass
Back, so loaded more songs on, and played the
Thing for all it was worth, thrashed my guitar
Sore fingers even at the start - I kept
Playing for nearly three hours last night - wise
To practice in the holidays with more
Free time. Seen some Hitchcock flicks, they were top
Just had a Mac's milkshake - strawberry, please...

2305 - Pop and shop til you drop

Several shopping trips with Louis, spending
His Christmas money from me here and there
Before he appeared at one, been trying
To up my press-up total, but despair
Takes over when I reach twelve - no further
Can I ever seem to push, but muscles
Feel stronger than two weeks ago, so fair
Chance of reaching fifteen soon. Musicals
Like 'Fiddler On The Roof' were on, but I'll
Settle for best of the year's pop, watching
'Best of 2012' videos with Sia
Will-I-Am, David Guetta and Rizzle
Kicks' 'Mama Do The Hump.' It's fun listening
To new stuff, not just stuck in yesteryear

2304 - All presents are correct

A fun Boxing Day, started at mum's house
Her waking me up like a boy, half-eight
As I stretched and yawned, wiping out the years
After Coco Pops and a cheese omelette
Drove down the motorway and wasn't late
Collecting Jo from Wilmslow, then to Vee's
Where Pearl and Louis joined us, then drove straight
To my flat, opened presents, then the Quays
Where we dined and shopped, checked out the Lowry's
Peter Blake exhibition and a browse
Through Lowry's own pictures - not quite the Tate
But passes time nicely. Me and Louis
Are waiting to watch football and get news
Of what teams did on grass so green and wet

2303 - Facebookmas

And so, as Christmas Day comes to its end
It's been OK, I've had good food to eat
Courtesy of Mum, though she had to stand
In the kitchen, a long time on her feet
And got a bad back. Read some Frank McCourt
'Teacher Man,' watched 'Cocoon' and Emmerdale
Then a long Christmas Coronation Street
(Load of crap). Though it made my Mum exhale
I stuck to my guns, watched Swan Lake. She wailed
And went to bed, but it saved my night. Then
Watched Top Of The Pops '77, treat
Of old tunes, Deniece Williams, David Soul
Kept eye on Facebook through the day, a change
From the Christmas norm. Now the day's complete!

Tue 25 December

2302 - Eve of destruction, no, er, Christmas

It's Christmas Eve, though evening's still to come
Louis is still asleep, but not for long
The plan's to go shopping, things for my Mum
Like a photo album to bring along
When I drive to her place in the evening
I'll give Louis some spends, he needs a coat
Then he'll visit HIS mum, where Pearl's staying
On Boxing Day, with Josie, they'll come out
For a car ride to somewhere round about
Meanwhile, I'll spend Christmas day at my Mum's
This year we won't be going to Gillian
She's fed up with that boredom, won't go out
Either for a meal, so it's at her home
The two of us will stay and party on!

2301 - Ello Tosh, got a Toshiba?

Relaxing Sunday at home, well, apart
From a bit of shopping, got Mum's chocolates
Press-ups disappointing, only did eight
Four short of twelve which is my recent best
New tracks for mp3, selected lots
On this shit Toshiba laptop it took
Hours - even my old Dell would do these bits
Of audio ripping nice, simple and quick
But this Toshiba soundcard's gone to fuck
And the CD drive rejects a large part
Of my CD collection, meaning it's
Only my DVD player not too sick
To play CDs...! My music-lover's heart
Yearns for good sound, for bass that really bites

2300 - Blue moon rising

The rain continues, England is flooding
And twice today I've been out in that rain
Twice today I've had to change wet clothing
Two pairs of trousers and socks had to change
First off I collected Josephine's main
Christmas present, an Ipod, from Salford
Postal depot, then to a football game
With Louis, Man City / Reading. Were bored
Mainly as the rain fell, and City poured
Forward but wouldn't shoot, they kept passing
Like Arsenal, but failing to finally strain
The net, until the last minute. They scored
With a Gareth Barry header, keeping
Up our record of few nil-nils we've seen

2299 - Happiness is a warm pool of blood on the classroom floor

The world's still here, sorry, silly losers
The Mayan calendar's end's not the world's
And never was. Funny how there's always
Mad egotists who want all of life spoiled
Maybe next time, losers! Sorry! Meanwhile
In the United States of Armaments
After the latest shooting at high school
This time in Connecticut, more offence
And ridicule will follow the statement
Of the NRA - more guns, not less, yes
That's the answer. Doh! Think I'm going to hurl
A rifle up their fat asses. Judgement
Of the world - they're crazy motherfuckers
May their happy warm guns grow sad and cold

2298 - Taxi!!!

Another rainy night in Manchester
I had intended to collect Louis
And his luggage using a hired car
But when he arrived on the London bus
I was on foot, getting wet, cos there was
No way I knew how to drive that hybrid
Car, a perplexing Toyota Yaris
The gearstick, the clutch, it was all weird
I couldn't get it to move and was scared
That if I did I'd stall or crash. Better
To leave it in its parking bay. Taxi's
The solution to get us home, then I'd
Got to walk in the rain again to the
English Lounge for a meet-up. Walks R Us.

2297 - Quiz night

It's late, I've been out, into Manchester
TV21 bar, for a quiz night
The first one I've done in ages, I swear
And though we didn't get the answers right
And only came fourth, nonetheless I quite
Enjoyed it, cos my team won the last time
And I got some free drinks, several free pints
By cashing in their voucher, making mine
A free pint and a half of Carlsberg, fine
Danish lager it is, too. Yes, lager
Is okay sometimes. I got through alright
Without buying smokes, and writing this rhyme
Almost done, looking forward to supper
Which could be fish or eggs or toast. Good night!

Wed 19 Dec 

2296 - Start making sense

Today I had an ulcer on my tongue
It made it hard to talk at times today
Not talking sometimes makes the day last long
But means you get things done and out the way
Imagine if you couldn't talk all day
Couldn't hear, see, taste, smell or walk, senses
Well and truly fucked. Exactly, so they
Shouldn't moan over nothing, not when there's
People with more to moan about but less
Ways to make that moan. If we weren't so strong
Or wise, what would life be like? Would we stay
Or end it all? The crawling snake says yes
To life, so does the bug, won't find them hung
From a tree, but can they really enjoy?

2295 - Get your teeth into this

Can't type, I'm eating, can't hear the music
The sound of chewing dominates my head
That's better, all gone, but some salt to lick
Away from my teeth and gums, or rotted
Like when a kid and my mum's not bothered
We eat sweets when we like as long as we
Eat her boring meals. Dad's were worse, we'd dread
Veg boiled to death and piled up vertically
Sausages marooned in watery gravy
With islands of fat, frying pan relic
Running out of teeth to fill, dentist said
And as for the braces, failed miserably
To make my front teeth straight, it was a trick
But it was all National Health Service paid

2294 - Get fit for Christmas

Sleep disturbed last night by noise - ironic
As I was only congratulating
My recent long sleeps. Still, Managed to pick
Myself up and do some exercising
Though my arm muscles really need building
As demonstrated yesterday at pool
When I couldn't pull myself out, struggling...
Must do daily press-ups from now, must fill
Out my soft arms and tummy, keep the will-
Power going no matter how tired or sick
It must be every day like this writing
Wrote a Christmas poem, played guitar, all
The ironing done, went shopping, a new book
'Tis' by Frank McCourt, 'tis entertaining...

2293 - Mr Muscles (not)

Been out to Wilmslow on the train to see
My almost-ten-year-old daughter again
Swimming club's paying off for my Josie
She does a mean butterfly, did a length
Or two in well under a minute, then
She told me her fastest time at the club
Was twenty-eight seconds. I realised when
I struggled to climb out of the pool, sub-
Standard fitness levels have now crept up
On me over time, though every work day
I walk for at least forty minutes. When
I ran and cycled, I was fitter. Stopped
Those, and also exercises daily
I'll start the latter again, build my strength

2292 - After the party, the void

Yesterday calling, yesterday calling
If you are wondering why I didn't post
And lack of sonnet had you worrying
The reason was simply that I got pissed
At the work do held to celebrate Christ-
Mas, and clean forgot about my blog when
I got back home, struggled to get undressed
And flopped into bed, sleeping until ten
This last week I've slept til late quite often
Two or three times I've slept til nine, getting
To work quite close to ten. I'm quite impressed
By that, in my flat, where neighbour noise can
Disrupt sleep badly sometimes, and drinking
A sleep aid, after earplugs failed their test

2291 - Here we go round the mulberry bush

Round things include the world, maybe even
The universe, if we could see it all
The atoms that make up everything in
Huge amounts, are round, as electrons whirl
In orbit, Saturn's moons, the orbital
Ring roads around London and Manchester
They describe life and death as a circle
Wheels on the bus crush motorbike rider
While each day repeats the same old order
Night and day, day and night, you are the one
The first shall be last, the last first, spiral
Ride down the dizzying helter skelter
Or up the spiral steps to the dungeon
Life's a game of rounders - don't drop the ball!

2290 - You've got to pick a picture or two

Got next year's wall calendar already
And a copy for Josie. It looks good
But the paper's a bit thin. It was free
So what d'you expect? Also, a t-shirt
Is on its way with my name on it, would
You believe? That was free too. Next I must
Order a photo album, pick a load
Of pictorial highlights of the year past
(50% off)... December, almost
Obligatory to look back quite fondly
And to create an album where you could
In future quickly skim through, see the most
Memorable moments, pix that are funny
And to have fun wondering what to include

2289 - The goose is getting fat

Listening to Rory Gallagher's guitar
Irish Tour '74, remastered
Been Christmas shopping, you see - I walked far
This lunchtime, got some CDs as I pored
Over the racks. 'Where's Will-I-Am?' I thought
Where there's a Will, there's a Sway. Flo-Rida
I did find, however, for my daughter
But got Rory for me, Tori, Hardcore
Compilation, very cheap, diary for
Next year (bit late for this one!), cards were a
Bargain in Poundland, but though I wandered
Round and round, no swimming float found. Got a
Few small Christmas trees for the flat - they are
Placed, all to praise the coming of the Lord!

2288 - City life and death

I was looking to see what's on tonight
And foolishly found City Life website
Though connected to the Evening News, quite
A lot of duff info on there - it's shite
I found gigs on through December and right
On into next year at the Iguana
That's a bar in Chorlton that closed about
Six months ago or more. Shame, it was a
Good venue for live gigs. And another
Error, it claimed - Trof Bar, comedy night
Not so when I rang them - it would be quiet
I'd have gone all that way in vain. Sandbar
Has something happening, but it is a blight
On the name of fun, like an iron kite

2287 - Lost city

Somewhere in the north-western wilderness
Is a lost city - because City lost
To United, at home - and so the less
Said the better. My own emotional cost
Is not that high. From the Midlands I crossed
To the North West so many moons ago
Today's blue moon will be powder blue dust
City folk will soon move on, tomorrow
Turning deaf ears to the red tide of woe
Blue Monday's usual lack of cheerfulness
Made worse by red sneers, like an evil ghost
Lurking by the water-cooler. Lift, go
Faster to third floor, an unwanted guest
Is sharing the ride - it's that smug red boss

2286 - Not a united city

Sainsbury's have their own brand Czech lager
After a long day's walk with Josephine
Rather than go to the pub, I'd rather
Stay in, though I'm missing out on the scene
Said I'd go down the Black Lion, but then
I'd miss the football highlights, which I'm loath
To do. I wouldn't get back by half-ten
Mind you, the big day's Sunday - that's when both
Manchester teams play each other. They loathe
Losing that match, of course - it's a bummer
Being the butt of jokes next week. It's been
Mainly City who've won. United's sloth-
Like defence is porous these days... Yet they're
Still top, somehow (thanks to the refereeing)

2285 - In the year 2285

Let's all imagine that we are alive
Far off into the future, really far
Imagine it's 2285
Mere 273 years
Into the far, really far-off future
Far out, as well, no doubt, if we could see
What it looked like on our TV screens here
Or what it will look like, more accurately
We'll have improved our natural body
We'll all be thin, yet muscle growth will thrive
Our houses or flats will be a theatre
Where we can design our own fantasy
With us as the lead actor. So we live
Out of touch with earth, trying to reach a star

2284 - Rainy day stop-in numbers 12 & 35

Afternoon off, chance for Christmas shopping
But it's so bloody cold and wet, I can't
Walk all the way to the Quays. Was meeting
Friends there, at the Victorian market
But I was put off when I heard Janet
Wasn't going to bother. Anne Marie
Hasn't answered my 'pologetic text
She's probably got enough other worries
Her mum will be there though, she's not lonely
After I left the office, was checking
Out Manchester's central magistrate's court
A magistrate is what I'd like to be
And the first step is to start observing
What goes on in one. Tres interessant...

2283 - Hello, chicken!

This evening I didn't smoke out the flat
The fish is gone, as B.B. King once said
And chicken in batter is not so wet
The oils don't leak and burn and hurt your head
And stink the flat out, meaning that instead
Of a nice warm flat, the door has to be
Left ajar, letting in cold air, to spread
Inside and disperse the acridity
These chicken steaks were filling, too - blimey!
I ate just two. All four would make me fat!
All this talk of food, I must eat some bread
And Marmite, and yogurt immediately
Afterwards, because it's now getting late
And soon little fat me must go to bed!

2282 - Smoke gets in your eyes

My eyes hurting from oven smoke again
When I cook that fish, the juices they burn
I open the door of the hot oven
And smoke gets in my eyes - I never learn
But this is hardly a major concern
It's temporary, as was my neck pain
Heart pain, any pain, it's all the same when
You look at it and think it through your brain
To worry unduly is just insane
Money worries belong to everyone
Even the rich get stressed out - will their turn
Come? The taxman and the wife won't complain
As long as you give it away (to them)
Bad as they seem, these days will not return

2281 - Red eyes and fingers

Been playing guitar, played a groovy set
Lots of soul, and some funk, and some disco
70s and 80s classics, forget
Them not! I'm sure I'll never be a pro
But it's fun hearing the improvement though
I ran through Pet Sounds like a dose of salts
Inspired by documentaries days ago
Almost easy at home - but live it's not
Cos then you have to sing as well - it's hot
Under those lights and the crowd's harsh judgement
In public's where the fuck-ups matter. Oh,
I finished with a Traffic jam, then stopped
When the lights in my eyes finally turned red
I've used this night in well. To bed, and so...

2280 - In the Lapland of the gods

I won't go on again about the cold
It's winter after all, and not Sweden
Or even worse Finland, where I am told
They kill themselves there about of depression
Over the dark and cold far more often
Logical, cos it's worse for that than here
So cold Brits, realise your good fortune
It's not nice to be there this time of year
Unless you fly there to see Santa where
He lives, in Lapland, just south of the pole
In which case, just maybe, that could be fun
Today I hired a car, drove to Yorkshire
Holmfirth, to be precise, where cameras rolled
Last of the Summer Wine, town of old men

2279 - Never the Mark Twain shall meet

Last night watched loads of stuff on the Beach Boys
This morning slept till after nine-thirty
Finished reading Mark Twain - on my journeys
To Scandinavia I took it with me -
Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, the Mississsippi
And Mark Twain with his brand new typewriter
Costing what was then a lot of money
Now started a book I bought in Malmo
Central Station, 129 kroner
This evening went to Chorlton to watch those
New female comediennes, and luckily
Janet got on the bill, and she did her
Cat routine, and it got her lots of noise
Three beers for me, then home for the footy